I'm fatigued all the time my fingers and toes keep going numb, and pins and needles, I can't concentrate on anything and im really dizzy.
Yet I can't bring myself to admit that I've fallen hard back into this ed.
I can't bring myself to send the letter I wrote with my healthcoach to my cpn explaining how bad things are getting, he's now on holiday for two weeks so ive missed my window - until then because I was too scared to admit the truth.
I need someone to shake me about and tell me this isn't normal to feel this way, because I'm beginning to get used to it again.
Idk what I want from this thread just maybe some hugs
This is going to sound awfully harsh, but ultimately eating disorders have those effects. I don't know if you read the cutting warning label, but sometimes it helps to remind yourself that there are those risks with eating disorders too - somethingfishy has a good page about the risks and side effects of eating disorders.
It sounds like you really want help to get back on track with your recovery, bt are finding it difficult seeking help. Is there anyone you can see in the meantime - like your GP?
I think that you know it isn't okay, and that perhaps it's beginning to frighten you. You've been in recovery before, and you can do it again.
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
I know it can be hard when things that you thought you had said goodbye too reoccur, you are in an advantageous position thought this time round, you KNOW you can beat it.
Do any of your friends or family know? Could they support you until your CPN is back from vacation?
Do you think you could tell them about it?
It sounds like, at the moment, you're afraid to talk about it because talking about it will make it real again.
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
Realizations are scary, but really important.
I;m proud of you for writing the letter & posting how you feel here. <333
In the meantime, until your healthcoach comes back, do you think you could go see your GP?, If things are slipping again, you need to be monitored physically.
Abi- I get how hard it is to own up to your GP and healthcoach about how things are. I'm in the same boat, but I hope you can send the letter. I've struggled in and out of my ED too, but a friend told me that they beat their ED. It took them 28 years, but they did it. Hope you can keep fighting- there is a way I'm sure
So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn
I'm ill atm (physically, got a bad cold) so haven't left bed for days.
I know I need to go to my gp, it's just horrible the thought of admitting that things have got so bad again, also I want them to take me seriously and you hear so many horror stories of people being fobbed off because it's 'not that bad' and things always seem worse in your own mind. That's what I keep telling myself anyway, I keep putting it off.
I will ring and make an apt though, it's just building up the courage
Well done on making the appointment- try focus on getting yourself well from the cold until then if you can
So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn
Could you watch movies or something like that to help take your mind off things so you don't panic? It's really scary when your panicking but keep in mind your not alone.
I hope you are able to get rid of your cold soon those are no fun.
Perhaps, you could start with 'I don't like talking about my eating issues (or Eating Disorder), as I'm worried no one will take me seriously... But I'm really struggling at the moment & could do with some help' ?
