I have struggled with Self Harm for almost two years now. I haven't slipped in a couple months, but lately I feel like I might. everything is just starting to go haywire. My ex fiancee and I broke up, which was a good thing because the relationship had turned abusive. I recently, and I mean as in the last four months, have been seeing someone new. And I've fallen in love with him. There's only one problem...
When we got together he was struggling with a drug problem. But he has been clean for a bit now. Howver, lately I've noticed some changes in his behaviour. Among some other signs. And I think he might be back on again. Our relationship is still new but I need to confront him about this because I'm about 99% sure I'm right. I'm scared and don't know how to approach this because I've never dealt with something lik this in my life. its starting to make me lean back to self harm, though, because the stress and worry scares me. How do I handle this? How do I approach him? I want to be there and help him, as he has helped me. I know I can't do it alone but I don't know where to begin...
Hi there.
Sorry to hear you've been having a hard time recently.
I think you need to be straight with him about this - confront him directly; there are no subtle ways to deal with an addiction.
Just say to him that you care deeply about him, but you've noticed he's been acting a little different recently and just ask if he's been having trouble with his addiction again?
It's better to have these things out in the open so you can both deal with it.
If you ever need to talk, my PM box is open.
x Katie x
well... he always denies it. but the other day he said he was going to his neighbors. and when he came back, he had VERY clear.. um.. belt marks on his arm. and today the same thing.. he swore to me he was clean for me, but I don't want to deal with the inevitable fight it will cause so I have been avoiding it. I don't know how to confront him, he isn't sober right now and I'm at his house.
I'm not going to run out on him the same way every other girl did. I can't break his heart like that. I just don't know how to be strong to talk to him about this. I always feel awkward and shy and like I can't do it.
he doesn't bring me down tho, really. he's always supportive of me, always there for me, always takes care of me. he's never not been there or treated me badly a single bit. he just asks me to help him thru his addiction. I can always count on him, no matter what. I talked to him the other day and he said that he wasn't back to using but then we quit talking because it was too stressful on us because I had work and couldn't really talk. I'm going to go for it again tomorrow or sometime tonite. I.. I actually love this boy.
you are the first one that you need to be looking out for right now. there is no way that you can be helpful to him if you slide back down into old habits.
do you think he would consider going to some sort of support group, like AA or NA?... that might be a good place for him to get support from people better positioned to guide him through this, and you can play the cheerleader role (which is MASSIVELY important!)
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
I'm keeping myself from slipping. I have enough control to do that. he is important enough to me for me to keep my head on straight for him, for his sake. I just am not sure how to be certain he isn't using again. because if he is I need to know. I'm naive when it comes to this. I don't know much.
well....
I retract my statement of confidence in him. im not so sure anymore that I believe he isn't using. :/ I.. I don't know what to do. I'm laying in bed crying and he's in the other room watching tv and I'm going to bed. I work in the morning and im just numb. he never will talk about it, we just fight and he gets mad I don't trust him.. I need to start an online blog..
its all so complicated and hard to prove though if he is using. i don't know much about drugs or drug use so I don't know how to tell and Whatnot. and it doesn't help that most of his friends do it here so I can't ever say what I found was from him for sure or not.. and its just so screwed up. I don't even know. he swears he isn't, but I'm always seeing him wiping blood off his arm or the belt getting moved around time and time again. or I'm just seeing him nod out or be different. this is a lot to handle.. I feel like he doesn't even have interest in me anymore. like, its so stupid. he doesn't even... ahem.. with me anymore, but maybe once a few days and it used to be all the time. I just feel... turned away. I don't know. I can't even talk to him about it a lot cause he takes it the wrong way.
fail.
what's a good blog site to use. free tho.
I don't want to just leave him unless I'm sure. and even then I want to be there for him. last nite after he was in the bathroom for like twenty mins he came upstairs and was a total --- to me. then when he came to bed he was ice cold and shivering and kept saying "somethings wrong with me." scared me so bad. I hate staying up all night to take care of him, but I always do. when we first got together I helped him get clean and I know for a fact he was because I saw him withdraw for weeks. then he was good. and then we broke up temporarily and during that time I made some bad choices and had to tell him what I did before we got back together and it ain't been right since. :/
