But big hugs for saying: 'This is going to be hard, but **** it, I'll try to do it anyway because it's what I want to do."
I like thinking of of that quote Naty has... Regret being worse than fear?
(I'm such a nerd. I like quotes. 8))
But the concert went good, hm?
Humiliating day today- just burst into tears in the middle of class. I think I'm just feeling worse than usual after my Christmas Shopping Ordeal.
My friends are starting to notice. I don't know what to tell them.
But- I'll admit this- I've done the wrong thing too when someone's told me about SH. At a sleepover, one of my mates started talking about it - she's been doing it for a fair few years, but she's never tried to get help, or go to the doctors. But she was talking about it like it was a good thing. And I could not cope with that, not after struggling with depression myself. I freaked at her. I panicked. I ranted. I told her she should stop it and go and get some help.
We were never really friends after.
I regret it all the time.
thanks, yeah i played alright i guess, there were loads of noisy kids and someones phone went off, which is very distracting, but quite a few people came up to me at the end and said it was very good.
sorry you had a tough day *hugs* sorry that happened with your friend, it can be very tough hearing other people talk about it. how you doing now after your day at school?
"Never be a spectator of unfairness or studpidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." Christopher Hitchens
'When words fail, music speaks'
I am transsexual and homoromantic and proud to be.
You know... i'm sure i got that quote about regret and fear from one of my mums magazine and it was from a woman who had been somewhere in South Africa and seen it on a wall. I agree with it though!
Everyone is allowed to make mistakes sunshineinthecity. *hugs*
Yeah. It's crap. I know I didn't deal with it in the right way. But I stand by what I said. SH isn't a good thing. So- yeah. It's really difficult to open up to someone about all this, but it's really difficult for people to hear too.
Call me Kate, if you like. Sunshineinthecity is a pain to write out.
I'm meeting a friend tomorrow for coffee and I'm so nervous. I don't know her that well really and I'm scared I will run out of things to say. Plus I'm worried I'm going to feel trapped in the situation.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
Kate- I went to a meeting with my tutor to discuss how i was going with my essay and just totally freaked out on him, had a panic attack (a mild one), then when i got over it, i just had a mind block and couldn't talk at all, so have to go either later this week or next monday if i have the time. Then I had an arguement with a 2 of my friends, one who is my best friend both over different things.
Control Freak- I find if I am out with someone I don't know too well and am having a coffee if i feel i have ran out of things to say, i just take a gulp of the coffee, hope that it goes well tomorrow.
x
Can so understand that. I always make a mental list of conversation starters. And an excuse I can use to get out quick.
I suppose it's just knowing what works for you- if your scared of feeling trapped, try sitting by the door, or the window- but, like I said, I always personally feel like everyone is watching me then...
Kate- I like lists too, i make them... then ignore them :)
I'm leaving the people i have argued with for a while, if we sort it we sort it, if we don't we don't, just didn't expect to argue with my best friend :(
Just feel like crap.
I've got to meet up with these three people tomorrow- one, I've never met before, two I have, once.
And I can't stop thinking about how they all hate me.
They do. They don't want to be near me and I have to spend time with them and it's just going to be like hell, and I'll be in a strange place and they'll be expecting to me to be sorted and organised, but I don't know anything more than they do?
I'm actually sitting here praying I'll be sick, so I'll have an an excuse and I won't have to go.
I'm doing that more and more and it's bloody pathetic. Every night, all i look forward to is the idea of going to bed, and that hopefully i won't have to get up the next morning.
At this rate, I might have to fake it, because i can't go. It's all going to go wrong... :S
*hugs kate* sorry you are getting worried about tomorrow, sorry i dont have any suggestions of what to do, but take it at your own pace, good luck.
I hate it when i have a massive panic attack over something so small, rang these people the other day and was voicemail so started to leave a message but got cut out half way through and now i am determined these people will think me an idiot and it was an important phone call, got really panicky and had a pretty bad panic attack after.
"Never be a spectator of unfairness or studpidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." Christopher Hitchens
'When words fail, music speaks'
I am transsexual and homoromantic and proud to be.
I have anxiety - I didn't actually realise for a long while but once I realised and looked back it was obvious. If I am at home I think how it won't be that hard to go out but once I am out I start to panic - sometimes I don't even get out. It's taken over my life it ruined my A levels and just everything really - I feel trapped in my house and however silly I think it is it is very real when I try and go out alone. Sometimes I can cope when I am with other people (mainly my mum) but sometimes that doesn't make a difference.
Sorry that other people have similar problems - I find it very difficult as it takes away options and opportunities that the old me would have been fine doing :(
**You walk on. You keep walking, straight into the darkness. You walk on, and eventually, a ray of light will pierce the darkness, and you'll know which way to go.**
How's everyone doing at the moment? -leaves hugs for everyone- :)
Hey angel - that's crap, but I can relate to what you're saying: about feeling fine, until you get out the door... Just remember this isn't your life, and won't ruin things forever. I always try and use thinking about those options and opportunities when I start to panic when I'm outside - it's something to aim for.
Anxiety is one awful thing.
Till today I was fully convinced I actually had some physical sickness to explain all my symptoms but there isn't. The attacks I've had are horrible, aren't they always. The worst is the fear, the anxiety. My heart starts pounding and feels like its beating all over the place, my hands start shaking, I hyperventilate, it feels like I can't breathe and I get really dizzy. Once that happens I just burst crying and I don't know how to stop the attack and calm down. Distraction is a good way - depending on the distraction though... not all distractions are good, that's why I'm here.
I know I have nothing to be afraid of, I know all the physical symptoms are caused by the panic but at that moment it feels really terrifying and I can't help it.
Just needed to get this out of me.
Somehow saying it or writing it eases my mind. Like I'm not alone with this.
i had my first panick after my nan died when i was 9 and then i didnt have one for 9 years and suddenly started having them about three times a day and it ended up in me getting so distressed ambulances were called when out in public and i eventually tried to kill myself and ended up in hospital where they eventually stopped. its now a year later and they have back but they are worse, they can last from 15 minutes to 9 hours long with me hyperventalating the whole time and just generally feeling really anxious! i have had at least one a day for the past 3 weeks now but so far today i have managed not to have one at all its been really hard because i can feel the panick rising but im trying really hard to control it and not come out in hyperventalation or pacing up and down because my parents want to go away and i want them to be able to (i wouldnt be allowed home alone incase anything happens)
but anyways just thought i would say hii its great to meet you all
Hi, i have only just discovered this thread. I have experienced Panic attacks and have had an Anxiety disorder for quite a few years now. I am currently on Mirtazapine for Depression and have had CBT for my Anxiety disorder, but it doesn't really seem to have done much good.
I decided to come back on Recover Your Life because i was starting to struggle with coping with my anxiety. I seem to have this 'bad thought' every day at a certain time (which is wierd) and i physically have to tell myself to calm down or shut up. I don;t like upsetting my boyfriend, and do the best i can to try and cope with the 'bad thought' but i find myself thinking about it at the most innapropriate moments of the day. I would like to point out that he is mega supportive of my condition, and does everything he possibly could to help me when i need it.
Just thought i would say Hi anyway. oh and LUA no, you are not alone in this x
~*~ Proud Cat Owner ~*~
"The smallest feline is a masterpiece." - Leonardo Da Vinci
I've had a really bad day. I try to keep myself busy every second cause I don't wanna see what happens if I'm not busy for one moment.
My boyfriend... sure he listens if I wanna talk but often he just tells me to calm down but... I would kinda wish he would be there for me even if I didn't feel like talking. When I'm panicking I can't really think straight. And like the attack itself wouldn't be bad enough I'm scared of myself and the distractions I think about. I really wouldn't wanna be alone in that state but even if he was there I still feel like I'm alone.
its been really hard because i can feel the panick rising but im trying really hard to control it and not come out in hyperventalation or pacing up and down because my parents want to go away and i want them to be able to (i wouldnt be allowed home alone incase anything happens)
