Yesterday, i found out my Dad had been diagnosed with testicular cancer.
I just don't know how to feel, or how to react. He told us when we were at the dinner table, and my brother broke down... whereas i just sat there, i couldn't cry, i couldn't speak. I just keep thinking about the bad things:
What if the operation goes wrong?
What if it gets worse?
What if he dies?
I broke down last night, and i was soooo tempted to cut, i could almost feel the blood dripping down my arm, and the blade running across my skin. I needed to so so so badly, But i couldn't. I couldn't turn my back on the 7 and a half months free i am. I need to stay Strong, for myself, for my family and most importantly for my Dad, but thats proving near impossible.
It's already effecting my eating, and ino in my head thats not a bad thing, but deep down i know that it is. I just can't bring myself to eat anything at the moment (and the fact that i have Glandular Fever doesn't help), i just feel sick when i do. I almost feel guilty. Why should i be heathly when my Dad's not?
I'm not sure what i'm looking for here; I don't even know why i'm posting this to be honest, i just need some support right now, Please?
I'm so sorry to hear this, darling. It's an awful thing for any family to go through, and if you're not feeling 100% at the moment anyway it's going to be even harder.
Please try to bear in mind that testicular cancer is extremely treatable. If they've caught it early, your dad has a 98% chance of survival. Even if they've caught it very late, the survival rate is still 70%. He's going to be okay, honey. And even if he's not, we'll all be here for you. You don't have to get through this alone.
It's only natural that any major emotional upheaval like this will trigger desires to self-harm or starve, but I know that you can fight it. I'm sure oyu know this already, but if you're trying to recover from glandular fever you need to be eating a healthy, balanced diet-your body's spending a lot of energy on fighting the infection, and so needs enough fuel to keep it going. If you don't eat, you'll be sick of a lot longer and it will be even more nasty.
I'm sorry that none of this is hugely helpful! Please know that we're all here for you if you need us, and PM me whenever you like
I am so sorry to hear about your dad emily it is such a shock when something like this comes out unexpectedly. Your family is going to need to be there for each other and be able to lean on one another as you face the next few month's.
It sound's like you have a number of question's that your dad might be able to answer. No one know's what will happen in the future but Dr's are getting better at treating cancer and predicting what will happen. Chance's are he has had these same thought's and worries at some point recently but hopefully the Dr's have given him some useful answer's that you could use to?
I know that it can be impossible to not think of the worst case scenario in situation's like this. I know that when Biggles had his operation I was convinced he was going to be a goner but he is pulling through okay at the moment. So although it's hard trying to stay positive is likely to keep you going strong. At the end of the day dwelling on the negatives so much only tend's to turn them into these huge monster's in our mind's. So why not see if you can get some fact's from your Dad or your Dr. about what is likely to happen so you can put your mind at ease a bit?
Congratulation's on not cutting that is such an amazing thing you did. You do need to be strong for you and your dad. It may be hard but it sound's like you are trying and with a bit of support from your loved one's you will get there.
Maybe you can make sure you keep drinking things that have nutrition in them like smoothies. Not eating isn't going to help your glandular fever if anything it will only prolong the illness and that ain't a good thing. Your dad may be ill at the moment but so are you and fighting your glandular fever and getting yourself up to full health is so important.
Huggles
xoxox
When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty. ~Woody Allen
Is a chocolate muffin loving glitter ball
I'm really sorry to hear about your dad, I know how difficult it can be. My mum was diagnosed with cancer a year and half ago. She is now in remission, but it was really tough with her having chemo and all sorts, our relationship isn't the closest, but I do have some insight into how your world can seem pretty messed up right now. I also had my best friend die of cancer, but that was one of the rarest types you can get, and as Abi said, I too am pretty sure that it is one of the very treatable types of cancer.
Feeling a wreck is OK, but never feel guilty for what your heath and being here. You can garentee you dad wouldn't want anything but health and happiness for you. Did you ask him all you need to, about the operation, how he is taking it and things? Anything that you need to know? People react to news like this in different ways and with the risk of sounding corny, that is OK.
It's also pretty natural to think of the things that could go wrong, but focusing on them and keeping them at the forefront of your mind isn't goign to help you in the long run or you dad. There are still a lot of postives you can do with your dad and for your dad, keeping some positivity is something. I tend to deal with things using humour, and I know that is something that my mum appreciated... even when I visted her in hospital when she was really ill, I'd keep it pretty light hearted to stop both her *and* I dwelling on the situation. That of course is an insight into how I dealt with it, and I'm sure you will have your own way... but don't let yourself lose faith in his recovery, and make sure you talk to him or your mum when you need to.
Your dad should also be able to have some counselling should he wish and remember that there are people out there that you can talk to as well. It goes without saying, that if you want to PM me, feel free.
Location: London . . . the less awesome one in Ontario, Canada
First, know that I'm sorry you family is going through such a rough time right now, and please know that I'll be sending good thoughts your way.
As a few others have said, this type of cancer is fortunately quite treatable. I just did a brief search, and found this:
"Testicular cancer has one of the highest cure rates of all cancers: in excess of 90%; essentially 100% if it has not spread. Even for the relatively few cases in which the cancer has spread widely, chemotherapy offers a cure rate of at least 85% today." (Bold emphasis is mine)
What you're feeling and experiencing is all normal for someone going through an experience like this. Just know that you and your family don't have to go through this alone. Your father has an excellent chance of recovering, but I'm sure that even knowing that doesn't make the experience any less scary. Perhaps think about seeking out some counseling, for you, your dad, your family, etc. There are counselors out there who specialize in helping people to cope with illness, either in themselves or a family member. Perhaps the hospital or your father's doctor can recommend one.
Another important key is education, for the whole family. Read up on the illness, know what you're fighting and how. Many years ago, my father became very ill, but like your dad, had good odds. I was still terrified until I started reading about his illness, how it was going to be treated, etc., and having that information made me feel better. Even though I was only ten at the time, I didn't feel so out of the loop and I felt like I knew what we were facing, and that gave me added confidence that my father would get better. And he did.
Good luck to you, your father and the rest of your family. And please don't ever hesitate to come here if you need someone to talk to. <3
First off congratulations for not cutting! And well done for seven months free!
I'm sorry for the bad news I know how much cancer can be a total b*tch but your dad has one of the highest curing cancers of all the cancers that is a good news, cling to that all the good news is the best. Remember sweetie, I know you feel like you have to be strong for your family but you don't have to. It's okay to break down and cry its perfectly okay to feel. Please look after yourself hang in there. If you need anything don't feel free to pm me.
This is going to be a carp reply because I have no good advice to give, but I still want to give my support.
I'm so sorry sweetheart, so sorry you're going to have to go through this you truly don't deserve to, no one does. *Massive cuddle*
At the end of the day theres no point asking "What if" Because you can't change whats going to happen and as fustrating as that may be you've just got to hold on and have faith in everyone looking after your dad.
Be there for your brother and especially your dad they'll need you right now. Try and be strong for them? But you know its okay to cry and be upset and be mad at the world sometimes!
Sweetie its going to be okay, he'll get through this, he'll be better and this will be nothing more than a bad memory.
You and your dad will be in my prayers
Love you honey
xxx
just because you've forgotten doesn't mean you're forgiven
Oh sweetie, that must be horrible for you.
I suppose you just have to be positive - surgeons are amazingly talented and, if anything goes wrong, they are trained to repair it! That's their job!
Cancer is relatively easy to overcome - especially testicular cancer - I wish you luck and hugs :)
x
