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Old 04-03-2012, 07:39 PM   #1
[LittleMonster]
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I'm so out of control..Don't know what to do

Hey, I've returned for a bit ...
I could use some advice..

I've relapsed badly with everything. I've started cutting again, I'm drinking everyday, I've started purging and restricting, got close to attempting suicide twice all in a week.

What do I do now? I can't seem to be able to stop myself or control myself at all..
I was doing so damn well with everything now I've relapsed worse than I could have ever imagined.
I'm going to stop the alcohol and hope that helps too :/

I saw my doctor and he made an urgent referral to the psychiatric nurse who is gonna call tomorrow as I missed their call >< What can they even do?
I'm unstable as **** but don't want to tell them this in case they want to section me or something

Sorry to post it all in here but it's where I feel most comfortable

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Old 04-03-2012, 07:55 PM   #2
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My friend is threatening to tell the dr or whatever if I keep restricting and purging They can't do anything right??

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Old 04-03-2012, 07:55 PM   #3
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Hi Kate.

I think your best option is to be completely honest with your psychiatric nurse. i know it is hard and you dont want to end up getting sectioned but maybe hospital is what you need right now? At least talk to her, ask her what your options are, how you can get the best support in the community if you dont want to go into hospital. You deserve support and help and it is important that you reach out for it and cooperate with your nurse.

Do you know what has triggered your relapse? You sound like you are in a horrible place right now and i really hope you are feeling better soon. But i do think that for that to happen, you need to be honest.

Well done for reaching out here, it is a great step and you should be proud of yourself. i know how difficult it can be.

please take care of yourself.

Anna



Den fuldkomne kærlighed,
Kan ikke eksistere blandt ufuldkomne


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Old 04-03-2012, 08:06 PM   #4
[LittleMonster]
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Thank you for your reply.
I can't go into hospital, that'd just make me worse and I have a degree which keeps me half sane. I'm willing to work with professionals I've just never had a good experience :/

What does the nurse even do? Can my friend tell my doctor about the ED? :S

I'm so confused..

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Old 04-03-2012, 08:37 PM   #5
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Be honest cos if you downplay it you may not get the support you need. If you're willing to accept support, they look at a section as a last resort so they should try and offer support in other ways (i.e. non hospital) if you're willing to engage.

Stopping the alcohol should help, fwiw.

xx

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Old 04-03-2012, 09:35 PM   #6
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hey, just letting you know im in the same boat at the moment ed/purging/alcohol. be honest with your nurse. theyll probably try and organise a therapist for you. and staying off the drink a good idea



Stay strong little fighter...
...tomorrow will be brighter


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Old 05-03-2012, 04:55 PM   #7
[LittleMonster]
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Thanks guys.
I'm finding it really difficult to make myself eat... I will have dinner because my friend is making sure I at least have [x] calories a day..which rationally is still too low but quite scary :/

I'm already feeling the physical effects of not eating & I feel so absorbed in this..

I have my counsellor tomorrow so will try and tell him about it. Also, the psych referall team are going to call any minute

I don't know how to feel..

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Old 05-03-2012, 05:08 PM   #8
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Has your psychiatric nurse called you back yet?



Left.


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Old 06-03-2012, 01:25 PM   #9
[LittleMonster]
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Yup.
Basically said my only option was IAPT and that they wouldn't take me because I'm self-harming & having suicidal thoughts.
I asked what I would do then and he just said "I don't know"

Helpful.

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Old 06-03-2012, 01:44 PM   #10
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That is ****.

I'm so sorry and it makes me despair sometimes. I went through similar in 2010.

I was once referred to IAPT, waited months for it with no help, then when I got there they said they didn't deal with people with eating disorders... so you may not have missed out on much there.

What about a CPN attached to your GP surgery or those primary care liaison people, who may be able to find more help for you? (I apologise if this WAS who you spoke to). If you get under one of those and then they decide they can't provide enough care for you surely they have a duty of care to pass you on to someone who would.

I know this is frustrating and you shouldn't have to do this but I think you should go back to your Dr, tell him what's happened. It sounds like he took it seriously and referred you quickly. Also, he won't want to be having to take responsibility for your mental health (I think most people in primary care are a bit cautious and uneasy of this) so he probably will want to find you help.

Do they know you were close to suicide?

The other option is to try to look for help outside of the NHS.
Tell your counsellor everything about it and see if they can help.
Good luck x

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Old 06-03-2012, 01:46 PM   #11
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Also, if you feel close to suicide again, the best advice I can give is to go to A&E and ask to speak to the crisis team, explain everything to them and don't understate anything. It's worth it to get help (even though it's a fairly hideous procedure).

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Old 06-03-2012, 03:48 PM   #12
[LittleMonster]
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Thank you for your reply <3
Yeah from what I've heard IPAT aren't much good for those who are a bit more severely depressed/suffering from EDs

I'm seeing my doctor again today (the one that referred me) & just gonna tell him straight and then if he suggests nothing then I give up!!

We'll see eh?

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Old 07-03-2012, 06:17 AM   #13
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Good luck with your doctor Kate, I hope you're able to tell them how things are right now. I can hear just how desperate and painful what you're going through is so please please speak up and get some support, hopefully the doctor can suggest something. I'm sorry to hear you're struggling but you CAN get through this - don't give up xxx

Aimee






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Old 07-03-2012, 10:02 AM   #14
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Hey hun,
How are you feeling today?
I'm sorry IAPT were so rubbish and unhelpful! How did it go with the doctors?

Thinking of you xox



Let us go then you and I, when the evening is spread out against the sky, like a patient etherized upon a table
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Old 07-03-2012, 05:30 PM   #15
[LittleMonster]
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thanks for your replies...got referred to ed services again
Currently in hospital for OD Im so stupid

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Old 07-03-2012, 09:22 PM   #16
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Kate, i'm so sorry things are so tough. i hope you'll be ok. i hope you get more help. xxxxxx

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Old 09-03-2012, 09:06 AM   #17
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Oh Kate *gentle cuddles*. I'm sorry you felt the need to overdose but I'm glad you're in hospital getting the treatment you need afterwards. Hopefully you haven't done any damage, and the staff are being kind to you. Let us know how you're doing, k? Are you able to get counselling through the ED services you were referred to?

All the best sweet.
x






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Old 09-03-2012, 09:45 PM   #18
[LittleMonster]
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I'm out now.
I tried to leave early but I was told that if I left I would probably died so they wouldn't really let me leave..
I'm much better physically and mentally at the moment, still struggling of course.. Going to see my doctor again Monday and get referred to a psychiatrist like he mentioned.
I will find out about ED services.


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Old 10-03-2012, 12:20 PM   #19
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I'd take advantage of the fact that your doctor seems to be trying their best to help you, so just be completely honest, don't miss out or downplay how serious things are, it's good you're trying, it sounds like you do really want help, which is a positive sign, so keep working with your doctor and pushing for help, it's worth it in the end.

Here if you want to talk.
x



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Old 12-03-2012, 06:09 PM   #20
[LittleMonster]
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Thank you..
I'm still not doing so well, I attempted it again and was meant to call the doctors today but didn't feel up to it. I will tomorrow though & I have the counsellor tomorrow :/

My eating is up and down, I have been okay for a couple of days, restricting & purging on others ...

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