If you're underage how can you get help from professionals without your parents finding out? My parents everytime I try to tell them about it say it's a phase or I'm faking it. I've been like this for 7 years, and I need help. Something that SERIOUSLY works. I'm getting worse, and worse..
I can see the heavens, but I still hear the flames calling out my name...
I think it depends where in the world you are and how underage you are. I started seeking out help for myself when I was 16 and because of my age they didn't have to tell my parents. I believe in Canada you can make medical decisions by yourself or without your parents at 14. If you look up your medical rights based on where you live it'll probably tell you legally if they have to tell your parents or not. That being said, there are a lot of anonymous or confidential services out there. Again, in Canada there is Kids Help Phone which can hook people up with services and a lot of youth places where if you're over 12 they can help you without your parents consent. Guidance counsellors at school also might have a different set of rules.
Just so you know, anyone you talk to does have the legal obligation to tell someone or get you help (whether you want it or not) if you tell them that you are danger to yourself or others, there has been abuse by a medical profession or if a child is currently being abused. They do this to keep people as safe as possible. From my experience self-injury has fallen into kind of a subsection. I would tell my social worker that I was cutting and she'd look at them but I was never admitted for it. Generally "A harm to self" is more to do with suicide or if your self-injury is to the point where you could lose life or limb.
I really hope you are able to find some help in real life!!
It's the children the world almost breaks that grow up to save it.
-Frank Warren
I'm 17, but I'm scared to be admitted for cutting. I don't do it really anymore I've just with all the panic attacks, and anxity. I freak out constantly. I know I need help, but I don't know how to get it. :(
I can see the heavens, but I still hear the flames calling out my name...
If you do decide to see anyone then they'll probably hand you a form to sign which will spell out exactly when they're allowed to break confidentiality.
That is really brave of you to decide to get some help. It is a really big step!
Obviously I don't know anything about your history so I can't comment directly about your situation but I can tell you what happened for me.
I started "really" cutting when I was 15. I had always hurt myself but never picked up a tool until I was 15. I was terrified of getting admitted too. I had a social worker at the time for other reasons to do with my physical health and refused to tell her anything. I simply did not want to be put in the psych ward. Eventually I told her what was actually going on. She didn't even mention being admitted. She saw the cuts, told me how to take care of them and told me she'd see me the next week.
That was how my appointments went for the next three years with several different social workers. The thing with self-injury is that the professionals agree that being admitted when the main reason is to help self-injury just doesn't really work. Sure, for the time you're inpatient your SI may improve a bit but for the majority of people the second they get out they hurt themselves.
Generally, you cannot medicate someone into stopping self-harming unless they are practically a zombie, and they try to avoid that as much as possible. You can't make someone not hurt themselves. I was practically in a padded room with a security camera and security guards outside and still managed to do some serious damage. As much as it doesn't feel like it now, SI is a choice and you can't just make someone choose to use healthier coping mechanism, especially if they don't even know what they are!!
I've been admitted more times than I like to admit but I've only had 1 admittance based mainly on self-harm. I had cut really deep and was living alone in a new city and couldn't promise I wasn't going to do worse. I guess even that time it had more to do with the fact that I wanted to kill myself. I know it's really, really scary but sometimes being admitted is the best thing for you. Some of my dearest friends I've met on the psych ward. It's not as bad as everyone thinks.
As for finding help... Could you look in the phone book or google things in your area? In the states in might be harder as you'd have to pay for stuff. It all really depends where you are. It's okay if you don't want to share that, but if you google support in your area it might be able to tell you. Or, call your closest hospital. They could direct you. Or a crisis line. They usually know stuff.
Getting help for yourself is very brave. In doing so you will learn how to better control the panic and anxiety and lead a happier life! It sounds like the SI is a coping tool for the anxiety. Get the anxiety in check and maybe the SI will be easier to deal with.
Best of luck!!
It's the children the world almost breaks that grow up to save it.
-Frank Warren
I started hurting myself when I was 10 or 11. I was really young, but I had an older friend who said it helped, and I got addicted to it. When I was 14 I started using other stuff. I was addicted. I finally stoped, but I do it every once and awhile, and it scares the sh-t outta my boyfriend. I have panic attacks where I black out, and do it, and I don't remember doing it. Like there have been numerous times where I blacked out, and when I realized what was happening I had my hand on an open flame. My doctor refuses to put me on anxity meds, because she doesnt want me to get addicted even though i've gotten so dizzy from them i've passed out during school from falling. It's a long story, but my boyfriends the only one who makes everything better, and there was a time where he got emotionally abusive and it messed me up worse when I was 14, and when we broke up last year I got way worse, and started drinking, and smoking all the time. He finally came back to me crying begging me to stop because I was obviously worse. Now he's back, and I don't know how to trust, and everytime i'm scared he's gonna leave I panic, and whats worse is he's going into the marines next year..... :/ Im scared ill pick up smoking again..
I can see the heavens, but I still hear the flames calling out my name...
