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Old 01-07-2011, 11:29 PM   #61
Stage Star
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18 year old virgin here! Never had a proper boyfriend. Never been kissed. Yeah, sometimes it does get to me, but not often. Life's just never worked out that way. As well as being super shy, I never really met any guys I'd feel comfortable doing anything romantic with at all. I don't give into peer pressure easily.

In my experience, more people are virgins at this age (and older) than you think. You just think you're abnormal because everyone's talking about sex sex sex, but have they actually done it? Probably not. They just talk about it to appear like everyone else, because they too think they're abnormal. And I look at my friends who have had serious relationships at a young age, and I wonder what the point is. I've witnessed so many people get 'heartbroken' and waste time and energy obsessing over relationships which usually don't last longer than a few weeks. But I'm digressing.

You're not abnormal at all. Relax and be yourself, and trust that it will happen when it's the right time. :)



I think I'll try...

Defying Gravity

... And you can't pull me down.
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Old 01-07-2011, 11:31 PM   #62
bishy barnaby
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have sex when you feel it is right, dont be pressurised into it, do it when you're ready. I rushed into it and regret it hugely. i dont think its abnormal to be a virgin, it shows respect of ones body and i wish i had waited.





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Old 01-07-2011, 11:47 PM   #63
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i was 15 when i lost mine. right after - like proper still after glow moment, he turned to me and said "well, i kept my new years resoloution this year"

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Old 02-07-2011, 05:33 AM   #64
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I'm about to turn 23 and I'm still a virgin...though I think most of that is due to the fact that I've been so confused about my sexuality that for a large chunk of my life, I had no idea what gender I'd even want to lose my virginity to. Besides, I'm a nerd and apparently someone that no one would ever want to know on that level...or spend a lot of time with. And since I'm too shy to do one night stands...well you get the picture.

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Old 02-07-2011, 06:04 AM   #65
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The only person who really actually cares about your virginity (or lack thereof) is actually just yourself. Nobody wakes up some days and thinks "hm. lets play spot-the-virgin". Sure if you're in year 8 or year 9 some people are immature and think its cool to have sex, but they quickly grow out of it. I know some popular people who were in my year at school that are still virgins and it doesn't bother them.

Movies like The 40 Year Old Virgin don't really help, though.

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Old 02-07-2011, 10:23 AM   #66
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Inkykitten View Post
i was 15 when i lost mine. right after - like proper still after glow moment, he turned to me and said "well, i kept my new years resoloution this year"
Mine logged on to msn and told everyone he was no longer a virgin.

Good times.

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Old 02-07-2011, 01:22 PM   #67
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Originally Posted by madfootballfan View Post
That's not true, I know for a fact that there are other people who care. They also did a similar thing to 'spot the virgin' by going round the people in college saying who would be a virgin by the time they leave etc.
I doubt they really care, they're probably just bigging themselves up to look cool or something. You might find some of the people who feel the need to brag are talking utter bull, anyway.

Besides, your college isn't reflective of the general opinion of society. I had people in my college that were a bit like that. Asking random people if they were virgins and the people that said they were they'd be all "omg for real?", but that's just a handful of immature people. It's not uncommon to still have the V card at 18/19 and it's certainly not wrong.

To be honest, you really shouldn't give a toss what people think, though. I wouldn't. Clearly the problem is not just your virginity if you describe yourself as feeling like a "freak" for being a virgin at 18.

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Old 02-07-2011, 03:47 PM   #68
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Sex is an amazing thing when the time is right, but before then it's just this awkward, pointless act that you'll probably regret. When you find the right person, you'll know ;)



Moving forward!

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Old 02-07-2011, 04:21 PM   #69
Soviette
 
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Originally Posted by madfootballfan View Post
I find your post a bit insensitive if I am honest.

Yes the use of the term freak was incorrect, social outcast, more appropriate. The way it is reported in the media etc is part of my feeling. Yes my college isn't representative of the whole world, but the whole world doesn't know me, so it's irrelevant, and anyway how do you know my college isn't representative of general society? It's what I EXPERIENCE that matters. As for not caring, unfortunately I have issues with that. My major issue is probably caring what people think of me, if I didn't then I probably wouldn't have depression.

Sorry if I came across/come across as aggressive, I was pissed off about something when I posted.
Alright, I got your two PM's, and I've only got around to replying now, but I'm sorry about the tone of my last post there, I agree it comes across as patronising/insensitive and there's no reason for it. I was multi-tasking when I wrote that.

I guess what I'm trying to actually say is, even if you did lose your virginity, you wouldn't suddenly feel fulfilled.. something else would pry at your self-esteem (which is what I implied in that post), that could be anything. You might then start to envy, for example, your peers who are having more sex than you. It doesn't end there. But sex shouldn't be about what other people think of you, at the end of the day, it's only your business (and your partners). It may sound like a clich you've heard dozens of times before, but it's true. I don't care how nihilistic (if that's the right word) this sounds, but people really don't give a crap, deep down. Whether that's about your virginity status, self-harm scars, personal issues, etc. Letting it consume you won't help you. I suppose you can't help how you feel, but I learned this a while ago..

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