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Old 30-07-2010, 02:49 PM   #4321
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^ Indeed!

I actually like the new personality disorder proposed things. Even though I'm not officially medically diagnosed with one. I think because maybe my core self is pretty much functional. I don't know. But the 'pick and mix' element is so much more human.

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Old 30-07-2010, 02:49 PM   #4322
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kyle-
I agree. I want to know what is going on with me as well. which is why i am going to the ER that dr wrote me a referral for.
wish me luck.

when the voice writes left handed.. which it has only done once.. it was very very messy as if I had done it .. but well as it wrote i could hear it telling us what it was writing.. it speaks very very slow.
Sadie with her..being her..lol..had to ask it why it spoke so freaking slow.. it said it was very tired and hurting. *shrug*

on another note, how are you kyle? i know for a while Tyler was worried about you as he felt you had "disappeared".
hope you are alright hon
Hiding




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Old 30-07-2010, 02:51 PM   #4323
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Definitely agree on the pick and mix side of things. People are too complex to expect everything to fit under one category, and levels of comorbidity with just about everything are so high it makes sense to be able to look at some holistically and JUST tick the boxes of the symptoms present and treat those accordingly as one mass...





Love you Chiefy x

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Old 30-07-2010, 02:51 PM   #4324
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totally agree with you moke and katie.

off to work in about 20 min so if i stop replying that is why ok? lol




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Old 30-07-2010, 03:03 PM   #4325
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I noticed that when Blue has written she wrote with my left hand, which is strange as I am right-handed.

I think Blue has been trying to come out again... Not as much as she has been but it's been me and her, so suddenly I'll turn funny and start trying to play on the bus by looking over the top of a bus seat at one of my friends. I've also noticed that she now hides behind my fists, like if she is trying to come out she won't do it without me being there so she'll put my fists in front of my face, covering all of my face except my eyes. It's kinda strange.

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Old 30-07-2010, 03:06 PM   #4326
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aww poor blue sorry she is scared.. but I think its good that she wants you with her =) it must help her feel safe.

sarah is waking up alittle bit now and mumbling that she wants blue to be her friend. hehe




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Old 30-07-2010, 03:09 PM   #4327
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She doesn't want to do anything alone now, which is understandable, given what happened last time she spoke to someone.
Aww (: she has said that a few times, to me and to Blue, it makes me feel happy that Blue has a friend

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Old 30-07-2010, 03:14 PM   #4328
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yeh i liks hav litl frens cuz it jus bes me an sadie an hiding and the voic in heer an i gots no littls to talk to or pla wif an growd ups bes boing in heer.

we gos to ER tonite i tink. i tak my mikeybares wif me.. i hops tey let me keps him wif me. i scard..

hiding say almos tim for werk now so i need go bak to my room =/
i hat werk..it scaree an i no liks strngrs. strangrs lok at me funnee. =(

Sarah
p.s.
*wavs to blu* =)




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Old 30-07-2010, 03:19 PM   #4329
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Aww ): I don't like strangers either, they give me funny looks as well.
Blue waves back as well :) I'm sure it'll be okay at the ER *hugs*

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Old 30-07-2010, 03:20 PM   #4330
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ok off to work. wil stop in when can after this weekend's umm whatever it is and let yall know what is going on.

*deep breath*
take care all




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Old 30-07-2010, 03:21 PM   #4331
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God, this forum had been dead for the last few days, I was away for a couple hours and like 3 more pages have sprung up?

To Moke, briefly.
I don't really identify any member of the system as the original person. We used to think it was Sophie, she was out the most, seemed to have a lot of memories, however, I am coping in a similar way. I think there are some alters that are more prominent than others but that we don't need to put one forward as the original or the one to look after.

Hopefully everyone else is ok.
T



System A
Sophie Mandi Max Gwen Mercy Erin AVA Tracey Bridget
My Isaac

System B
Tabitha, ?,Robert, Pippa, Sarah?

"Don't touch me."

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Old 30-07-2010, 03:23 PM   #4332
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Bye hiding & Sarah

And hi Kitkat and Olive :)





Love you Chiefy x

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Old 30-07-2010, 04:19 PM   #4333
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Hi Moke (:

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Old 30-07-2010, 04:28 PM   #4334
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hello moke. Nice to meet you :) we are a little late to the conversation now lol



We are defantly in "we" mode today, Sarah and Michelle are very near the front it's making concentration and thinking hard

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Old 30-07-2010, 04:55 PM   #4335
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Hey Shadow, thanks for the welcome :)

How do you keep track of so many - do you immediately know who's who when they're at the forefront?

I'm going to go now, probably won't be back until Monday so will check back into the thread then :) Have a great weekend, all! xxx





Love you Chiefy x

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Old 30-07-2010, 05:57 PM   #4336
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ye, often when others re about I'm not "there" either, but sometimes others can come near the front and then I an feel them and know who they are from how they feel... also from how they speak, although all the same voice wise the way they speak is different, Michelle speaks quickly and aggressively for eample, Sarah is quiet and uses very few words, Rachel is quiet but speaks in a more "flowery" and almost poetic type way... so ye... I guess you just learn the differences


Got such a bad headache today

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Old 30-07-2010, 06:02 PM   #4337
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moke, no, I've not tried to get a diagnosis. Well, I was referred to the consulatant psychiatrist to fix my meds, nearly 5 years ago now. But he didn't really look beyond the depression. I was there to get on the right anti-depressants, and that was that. I also didn't have as much self knowledge and awareness as I do now. I was very depressed at the time. I guess. Well, I was on two anti-depressants together for a while, so I must have been.

But that doesn't mean that my splits aren't very real. My therapist knows me in all my complexity far more than the psychiatrist ever did in the 4 appointments I had with him.

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Old 30-07-2010, 06:13 PM   #4338
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moke View Post
I'd never really considered that they might be viewed as just as valid as the "main person".

Got a question on this... can we ever really truely know who the "main person" is? Does the original person evern really truely exist as they split to create us all? I mean I think of myself as the "host" or whatever, but that's because I am in control the most often, but does that really mean that I am the "mian" or "original"? Think may have brought this up before not sure but it's an interesting thing... then again maybe who was here first or whatever doesn't matter, we are all as real as one another, we just happen to share a body

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Old 30-07-2010, 06:16 PM   #4339
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For me, it's the part of me that is becoming more allowed to be undefended, unrestrained, genuinely herself.
It has been blocked for years with all the defences, including the Others - sweet, petulant little girl, aggressive withdrawal, isolation...

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Old 30-07-2010, 07:13 PM   #4340
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I assume my seroquel reacted bad with the new meds once it kicked in and screwed my mind up so horribly.

From what I remember I was lying in bed and this man was firmly saying "Suicidal little girl" over and over and eventually I curled up, feeling fourteen years old and like this girl who self harmed and was suicidal. But it wasn't me, more like someone had control of my body.

Something else was said or happened, but I forgot it, which I know I did because I was trying to remember it because it was important.

There was a huge wall of shadow where the voice was coming from and he said "New".

I had to roll out of bed since I couldn't move and eventually came on here to talk to my friend, who eventually calmed and snapped me out of it.

So, I wonder who this voice belonged to.



Things could always be worse.


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