well with mine.. sarah chose her own name.. after i got frustrated with sarah being out day after day for a week at work. i didnt have any idea what was going on or what to do to get it to stop i just knew i couldnt feel 6 yrs old at work anymore. i visualized trying to throw her in a dark dark closet. she screamed kicked and cried. and the next day she informed me she did not want to be called by my name anymore.. she was real mad at me and her name was now going to be Sarah.
with Sadie- i think she has had her name for a while. not sure if she chose it or just was. but well the first day i heard her, and the first day she actually came out ..i began called her the angry one.. all she did was yell at me and cuss me out.
she finally got sick of being called the a ngry one.. and yell at me saying not to call her that..her name is SAdie.
Sadies name really fits her tho i think. she is a hot tempered redhead my temper isnt ALL that is hot either *wink*
geez.. nice to see she is awake now.lol anyhow.. it really does fit her through and through.
the voice.. we just call it the voice.. we arent sure what it is like a shodow spirit thing. i dont know .. just glad it doesnt talk to us much.
I went shopping this afternoon, and bought something with each of us in mind. That's so... therapeutic. Amazingly so!
Regarding naming, Katrina was originally Petrina [petrified-frozen, and was separated into Freak Girl, Invisible Girl, Skeleton Girl and a bunch of other wounded states like Storm Lady and The Dictator]. But as I worked at integrating/accepting/becoming conscious, we clarified it down to one, Katrina. The name is for several reasons
- it is like Petrina
- it is a derivative of my name, Katherine
- Katrina was the name of one of the girls who bullied me
Trini was a name we chose together, it simply came when I decided that Little Girl was no longer respectful of her [previously when more scattered/less self aware she was Princess K, Kataisha, and a bunch of other early and later based childhood states]
And Trini because her behaviours are very much entwined with Katrina - it's a dual system.
Katie, that's awesome that you bought something for yourselves! It can be really therapeutic and nurturing. We feel privileged to hear about how your names came about and the work you have done integrating the child states. :)
We are having coffee before art therapy - we did come in. We always do. Our alarm didn't go off this morning so we ran a bit late, luckily our step dad and step brother were both a bit late too.
Anyway, take care guys and we will pop in again later today.
I'm missing so much on here at the moment but I'm still reading it all and thinking of you all. I hope that today is a calm and constructive day for everyone and I'm leaving hugs for anyone who wants them.
I'm now having psychotherapy twice a week which is pretty intense. I've been telling her mainly about some of the r*pes and physical abuse, so it's really draining emotionally and physically. I haven't had the energy to do much else. I feel so depressed and dissociated and I want to kill myself all the time.
The alters all disappeared for a few weeks over the period of breaking up. Bit frustrating as we had reached some form of communication. Last night they came back out again which was encouraging. I'm wondering if I should allow them to speak to my therapist and how I would go about that. I trust my therapist very much but I can't help feeling a little embarrassed too about it.
Every day I just plod along and drag through it trying to resist all the suicidal urges, anorexic thoughts and severe self harming. I'm not coping well at all but I guess it could be worse.
Hi guys, pretty much doing the same as everyone else. Just a quick update, sorry I don't have the energy for more.
Still up in Oxford, got some feedback and was able to help myself enjoy the work a lot more. Have some very strange viral thing, vomiting and icky looking throat. :S
As for the others, my system and the other one. I guess some of you have picked up I haven't switched, more than maybe three times, in the last five/ five and a bit weeks. That sounds like a pretty good thing but to be honest, it's because I have very little, if any contact with any other alter.
I've been looking into making a place for me to go when I switch, and it turns out it's a recommended idea in a lot of books, still seems dauntng.
Also, Erin has told me I will be switching at some point in the weekend so one of the others can sort something. :S Sometimes I don't like her very much really. And I'm sure she can read this but meh.
Sophie Mandi Max Gwen Mercy Erin AVA Tracey Bridget My Isaac
had no nightmares last night :D but I got up loged into deviantART and discovered that someoone had started a thead on the forum there staing I am a "lying attention wh*r*" and now I have over 100 notes and things about how I should go "jump off a bridge"
Might just go back to bed, no point even tryng in the wakng world to do anything