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Old 03-04-2018, 05:19 PM   #1
And all shall be well
Join Date: Nov 2017
Nervous about referral appointment tomorrow

I'm a thirtysomething veteran of the RYL community (can't believe I'm back here but glad it's still here!). The mental health nurse attached to my GP surgery has referred me to the ED team and my appointment is tomorrow. I use food, along with self-harm and alcohol as unhealthy coping mechanisms but don't think I've got an ED because my behaviour isn't consistent enough (I'll go through phases of BP) and my BMI is just within the healthy range (I hate taking mirtazipine as I'm sure it's making me put on weight). I'm worried about wasting their time tomorrow. I'm not seriously ill or thin or likely to die from my unhealthy behaviors around ood so not sure it justifies a referral. I do have issues around food... but a lot of people do. I wish I could just see food normally and have three square meals a day and enjoy them and not get into such a state about food.

I'm not sure really what I'm asking, if anything. Has anyone else been in a similar position, i.e. slightly older person being referred to ED team, but perhaps not with a full blown disorder? It's just an initial assessment so I'm expecting to just come away from it with some leaflets or something. I'm also dreading them asking about my weight or if I have to get weighed. I'm just in the healthy range, and whenever I get weighed at the doctors or in hospitals it always looks like I weigh loads more than I do because I have to keep my boots and clothes on and they never seem to take account of that so they think there isn't a problem (even though I've been pretty underweight up until being on mirtazapine).

Any thoughts, advice or reassurance would be much welcomed.

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Old 06-04-2018, 05:03 AM   #2
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I can relate to what you experience to a certain extend. I've struggled with food, eating and weight since at least primary school and I am in my early 30s now. At the same time, my behaviors were also never consistent or bad enough for me to get diagnosed with an ED, when I was in therapy they got put down as BPD behaviors.

Though I never have been referred for ED treatment I understand what you say regarding the referral. There are a few things to keep in mind though 1) ED behaviors can and will kill, and when they don't they still do some damage. You don't need to be outside of the healthy weight rage to suffer from the consequences of it. 2) The assessment is there to see if and what type of treatment you will benefit from. Literally, no matter how much insight you think you have into your disordered eating, you are not a good judge of it overall (nobody ever is). Maybe you find it helpful to think about it as other people being in charge of that decision. People who are trained to do that will evaluate your needs in a more objective and informed manner than it is possible for you to do. I know it can also be scary to have others make that kind of decision for you, but it can also help you to not feel responsible or like you are wasting their time and resources. You're not. You would not have been referred if it was really all that unnecessary.

I realize my reply is a few days late, but I wanted to at least try and be vaguely helpful.
How was your appointment anyway?

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Old 09-04-2018, 06:39 PM   #3
And all shall be well
Join Date: Nov 2017

Thanks for replying. And sorry it's taken me a few days to reply too! The assessment was fine in the end. He kind of went over my whole tool bag of unhealthy coping mechanisms...of which food seems a relatively minor and not very consistent one. Not sure what'll happen next. I've got to see him again and waiting for an appointment in the post along side some paperwork (including keeping a food diary). The sick part of me wishes I had the will power to have a proper eating disorder. Instead I just alternate pretty much each day what self-destructive behaviour I'm using. At the same time I'd love to have a normal relationship with food again, and just be able to cook and enjoy three square meals again.

Thanks again

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Old 14-04-2018, 07:29 PM   #4
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Join Date: Jun 2007
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I'm glad your assessment went well. Along with the food diary and paperwork, maybe you can mention the last few sentences you wrote in your last post next time you go back? It sounds like you recognise what you're doing isn't healthy and don't want to be doing it, and that's a great starting point.

You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.

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