Food and addiction

Speak · 04-01-2014, 05:27 PM

This is my first post here. I want to make a change. I am pretty overwhelmed and would appreciate a conversation very much. I am not overweight or underweight right now. I feel like I am, and have been for the past two years, addicted to food in a very real sense.
I have been fortunate enough to not suffer from chemical addictions in my life, but I have close relationships with people who have and do suffer this. I feel guilt and discomfort about saying 'I am addicted to food' (because alcoholism and drug addiction is so incredibly devastating and I would hate to use the word 'addiction' lightly).
I eat either vastly more or vastly less than is healthy to distract me from emotions. I do this with both positive and negative emotions. I purge almost constantly when I am at a time in my life when I am experiencing intense emotions (either good or bad).
Perhaps someone can give me some words of advice. I feel that the way I treat food is chillingly similar to the way people close to me have treated alcohol. Obviously I cannot abstain from food. But food is a drug to me. Are there steps I can take to make food less intoxicating?

Charmed · 05-01-2014, 12:11 AM

Hi there,

Welcome to RYL, I hope you find everything you are looking for here.

It does sound like food is quite a large problem for you right now. I'm wondering if you are receiving any professional help at the moment? It can really help to talk to someone who can work through what is going on for you at the moment.

You mentioned your problems with food are worse when you are feeling any strong emotions, perhaps you could try doing something else to deal with the emotions than food. For example, you could try light exercise, exercise is a great way to release endorphin's which can make you feel happier. As well as this perhaps doing something really random might help that relates to the emotion you are feel, maybe singing really loudly, or jumping up and down or dancing etc.

Could you talk to your friends who have experiences similar things in different ways, it might help to talk to someone in real life who can relate.

Take care.

Speak · 05-01-2014, 06:43 AM

Hey Charmed!
Thank you so much for your positive response and for welcoming me to RYL.
I have not sought professional help. It sounds like I need to.
Thank you very much for your suggestions. I'll try it.
(ps - I love your signature - is that from Winnie the Pooh? Winnie the Pooh is the best).

Revival · 06-01-2014, 12:38 PM

Hi there, welcome to RYL, I hope you find it helpful :)

I echo Charmed's excellent advice, she's made a lot of good points.

I understand the feeling of guilt, but you have nothing to feel guilty about. We all have methods of dealing with our emotions, some healthier than others. It does sound like food is a coping mechanism for you, and like Charmed said it could be very helpful for you to see a professional to help you deal with the issues behind why you are using this behavior.

Purging can be very dangerous, especially if you are doing it a lot. It affects electrolytes amongst other things which can have serious consequences. It would be worth seeing a GP about it to check your physical health, is that something that you would consider?

It's great that you want to make a change, I wish you all the best. Please let us know how you're getting on, take care.

Speak · 07-01-2014, 06:19 AM

Hello Revival,

Thank you so much for your reply. It is very good to hear you say that about feeling guilty.

A few months ago I went to the dentist mainly in an effort to convince myself of the real and lasting effect purging has on my body so I would stop. I had so many problems the dentist had to work on - it was an embarrassment. And very expensive and painful. However, went back to purging.

I am afraid to go to a GP because it will likely also be embarrassing, expensive and painful. But I feel like I am realizing more and more that I can't shock myself with something external to help me recover - I have to work on the way I think and feel from within. But this doesn't mean that I am not already sick and do not need medical care - thank you for reminding me that seeing a GP would be for the best. I needed to hear that.

Thanks for the well wishes too! Have a great day.

Speak · 07-01-2014, 06:20 AM

Hello Revival,

Thank you so much for your reply. It is very good to hear you say that about feeling guilty.

A few months ago I went to the dentist mainly in an effort to convince myself of the real and lasting effect purging has on my body so I would stop. I had so many problems the dentist had to work on - it was an embarrassment. And very expensive and painful. However, went back to purging.

I am afraid to go to a GP because it will likely also be embarrassing, expensive and painful. But I feel like I am realizing more and more that I can't shock myself with something external to help me recover - I have to work on the way I think and feel from within. But this doesn't mean that I am not already sick and do not need medical care - thank you for reminding me that seeing a GP would be for the best. I needed to hear that.

Thanks for the well wishes too! Have a great day.

Unbreakable. · 16-01-2014, 12:41 PM

Hi there, I was just wondering how you were doing and if you have tried any of the suggestions? You talk about a trip to your GP being expensive, where do you live and is there a way to get free treatment via insurance or charity or similar? What do you mean when you say a visit to the GP would be painful?

Speak · 20-01-2014, 03:03 PM

Hey, TIG :) Thanks so much for asking. I'm doing all right!
Yes, I am trying the suggestions. I have looked into free counseling and there is a program at a university I will be enrolled in soon. I will be able to use the service in four weeks. I am really nervous about it because I feel as though the counselor will think I am silly.
By 'painful' I mean that I am painfully ashamed about the way I have treated my body and I don't want anyone to see just how bad I've treated it.