*offers safe hugs, stuffed animals and tissues to all who want/need them*
So damn tired. Just want to sleep. It's only early afternoon but I just want to crash out right now and not wake up for a week. Meh...
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
Thanks to family drama and stuff at home, now I am teetering on being unsafe and doing bad things... I reached out to a friend but no reply yet :(
*sits down and cries*
~Matt~
Susanna Kaysen: I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favorite word.
Dr. Sonia Wick: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
Susanna Kaysen: I don't care.
Dr. Sonia Wick: If it's your favorite word, I would've thought you would...
Susanna Kaysen: It *means* I don't care. That's what it means.
Every thing keeps getting worse.... J is screaming in my ear, my mood is dropping quickly, I'm becoming more suicidal every minute and I have everything I need to put my suicide plan into action. The only thing holding me here is that I don't want to put my family and friends through the torture I went through when I found Jem after his suicide. My husband says I should go to hospital but he's not doing so crash hot and there wouldn't be anyone left here to care for him. I don't know what to do... I just want it all to stop. I just want for it all to be over. Help. *crawls under a bed in the corner and starts crying*
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
Why don't you ask someone to care for him like a neighbour and then go to the hospital
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
Major Depression | Asperger's Syndrome | Anxiety NOS | Hints of OCD
Close your eyes. Don't you cry. Love's around you. In time, you'll fly. Don't you worry about the dark. I will light up the night with the love in my heart. I will burn like the sun that will keep you safe and warm. Like the smell of a rose on a summer's day, I will be there to take all your fears away. With the touch of my hand, I will turn your life to GOLD!
Susanna Kaysen: I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favorite word.
Dr. Sonia Wick: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
Susanna Kaysen: I don't care.
Dr. Sonia Wick: If it's your favorite word, I would've thought you would...
Susanna Kaysen: It *means* I don't care. That's what it means.
That was a terrible night... the nightmares felt so real and scary :(
~Matt~
Susanna Kaysen: I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favorite word.
Dr. Sonia Wick: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
Susanna Kaysen: I don't care.
Dr. Sonia Wick: If it's your favorite word, I would've thought you would...
Susanna Kaysen: It *means* I don't care. That's what it means.
♥ .I'm going to fall like I don't need saving. ♥
...My smile's just the armour I built when I was alone...
There was some part of me that hurt so badly, that I wouldn't ever be able to forget it.
It faded but the memories could bring it back any second, keeping me in the moment.
It would never fully heal. I could never really be free. I could never really be fixed. Now I just have to work out how to live whilst being broken.
I feel like I'm dying.
I'm just going to disappear into a corner for a bit. Meh
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
Major Depression | Asperger's Syndrome | Anxiety NOS | Hints of OCD
Close your eyes. Don't you cry. Love's around you. In time, you'll fly. Don't you worry about the dark. I will light up the night with the love in my heart. I will burn like the sun that will keep you safe and warm. Like the smell of a rose on a summer's day, I will be there to take all your fears away. With the touch of my hand, I will turn your life to GOLD!
Upset at myself for doing what I did... but its too late to fix that. One of my friends who has known for a while about my "stuff" asked if he could have a phone number he could use in case things got bad and I was stubborn/refused etc. a lil while back. Well pas wto nights have been really really bad and I told him what I did and how I was unsafe and the such... now I am worried he will call and I will get in trouble...
*hides in the corner and puts a blanket over so no one sees me*
~Matt~
Susanna Kaysen: I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favorite word.
Dr. Sonia Wick: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
Susanna Kaysen: I don't care.
Dr. Sonia Wick: If it's your favorite word, I would've thought you would...
Susanna Kaysen: It *means* I don't care. That's what it means.
Feeling really shitty right now had melt down in front of my parents and I really can't cope with all this bs at the moment x #crying
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
~grabs blanket and beanbag curls up~ I haven't been here in forever *sad* I know. I stopped going to therapy again
Hello everyone name is Becca age 34, everyone who is a resident of my head may or may not show. I know Sammie will if there is someone around her age. Ace would be most likely to show up out of all of them.
The residence of my head
Sammie: Age 6, sweet, shy, playful, doesn't like grown men
Leigh: Age 16, sort of a loner, creative, friendly, protective of Sammie
Ace: Age 29, sensitive, creative, a good guy tries to convince Sammie each day that he is.