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Old 07-04-2014, 11:11 PM   #1
Rug
 
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Personal Piece- Contains upsetting material - Spoken Word - What I say when I hear someone say "just get over it"

This is my next spoken word, please let me know if you spot any problems or mistakes or if you think it just blows cause I want to add this to a list of poems I will be performing and I would rather have honest opinions on it so that I can take them on board and potentially improve it.

"Just get over it!"


Some memories can never be forgotten, thoughts trodden on will never go away. Instead they stay, sinking deeper into the soul. The hole left by somebody never heals you learn to just look through it and use it as strength or example otherwise let it grow until you are hollow and the world seems less able to heal you or you feel less worthy and feeble. People can be strong and still struggle to muddle through difficult times.

Terrible things happen every day that weigh heavy and dampen your will, sadden your soul and shade your heart lead grey. There are those whom I have met who have suffered agonizing pain. The kind of insane, inhumane torture that you might only see on the T.V.! Yet somehow, these people still get out of bed in the morning though society has given up on them. These superheroes that can still try even when to die would be the highest high in their visions of peace. You might see life as the better option but to them the brutality of every moment is a component of self loathing, where life is pain and you do not deserve death because when you hate yourself enough living can be self-harm sustained.

To maintain the shame, contained in disdain for your heart is a brainstorm that would make hardened old men hide under there pillows and cry for their mothers. I will NOT accept the dumbing down of those whom I KNOW have the bravery of all of your gods, tenfold. How they hold control over colossal thoughts untold and locked in an iron mould to fester and rot.

All feelings go somewhere whether that is a razorblade gripped tightly between your fingertips or the crack of a skull meeting brick after brick after brick, or the click click of light switch over and over and over or when insignificance becomes significant loss of weight till the only thought is what is on your next plate and at the opposite end of those scales weigh in the protective layers of fat that keep away the horrible dreams because "daddy isn't attracted to that sort of size" so please suspend judgement based on bias and cheap lies about seeking attention, laziness or weak minds.

These people were broken by people and crisis, by purposeful infractions or accidental actions so the physiological reaction to cope with rejection is to build up defences and hide from emotion but remember these people are broken so hold them together, hold them forever remember they are human and robbed of self worth. Distorted, abnormal and awful should not be so normal to the victims of fate. It's never too late for someone to recover, never fully mind you, just enough to discover a way to survive and to deal with their past because whatever Disney says the past is never just in the past.



Hope you enjoy ^ ^


Last edited by Rug : 08-04-2014 at 11:37 PM. Reason: spelling and followed some advice ^ ^
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Old 08-04-2014, 08:35 AM   #2
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I find this interesting and nicely worded. There is a good flow in it i think. I didnt really expect much when i entered the thread as i most often get disappointed that its its same, depressive, ill written things on here, but i thought this was different. I was looking out for spelling mistakes etc. You may have overlooked but i didnt find any obvious ones nor places where it seemed oddly worded at all :)

Anyway, it was refreshing to read something a bitdifferent than what we usually see on here. I am not sure i am digging the title however i have no ideas for what it could be instead.

Good job, may i ask where you perform these poems?



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Old 08-04-2014, 09:00 AM   #3
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hey,

I agree about the title. I was thinking about keeping it as "just get over it"

Thanks for reading!

This will be my first performance on the weekend. It is a festival called davefest, at lower lode in Tewkesbury a sort of free expression weekend which was created in honour of my younger brother who past away nearly two years ago.

There are loads of bands, performers, speakers and poets who will be there and we have like 200 odd going (possibly more this year). It should be awesome.

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Old 08-04-2014, 02:17 PM   #4
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I like that title better. More simple. I felt like the other wasnt really doing your poem justice.

Oh that sounds awesome. Are you nervous? I would be. Poems are very personal after all. I wrote something personal for a blog my friend has on big psychiatry fundations website in denmark, it will be up soon in three parts.i am very nervous about that and i dont even have to perform it so i can imagine if you would be nervous :) good luck anyway and what a great way to honour your brother.



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Old 08-04-2014, 10:06 PM   #5
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I love this.

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Old 08-04-2014, 10:10 PM   #6
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I've bolded any suggestions or spelling mistakes (just one) hope it's any use

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rug View Post
This is my next spoken word, please let me know if you spot any problems or mistakes or if you think it just blows cause I want to add this to a list of poems I will be performing and I would rather have honest opinions on it so that I can take them on board and potentially improve it.

What I say when I hear someone saying "just get over it"


Some memories can never be forgotten, thoughts trodden on will never go away. Instead they stay, sinking deeper into the soul. The hole left by somebody never heals you learn to just look through it and use it as strength or example otherwise let it grow until you are hollow and the world seems less able to heal you or you feel less worthy more feeble. People can be strong and still struggle to muddle through difficult times.

Terrible things happen every day that weigh heavy and dampen your will, sadden your soul and shade your heart lead grey. There are those whom I have met who have suffered agonizing pain. The kind of insane, inhumane torture that you might only see on the T.V. yet somehow still get out of bed in the morning who society has given up on. <<That but is a wee bit confusing, maybe too long sentence?These superheroes that can still try even when to die would be the highest high in their visions of peace. You might see life as the better option but to them the brutality of every moment is a component of self loathing, where life is pain and you do not deserve death because when you hate yourself enough living can be self-harm sustained.

To maintain the shame, contained in disdain for your heart is a brainstorm that would make hardened old men hide under there pillows and cry for their mothers. I will NOT accept the dumbing down of those whom I KNOW have the bravery of all of your gods, tenfold. How they hold control over colossal thoughts untold and locked in an iron mould to fester and rot.

All feelings go somewhere whether that is a razorblade gripped tightly between your fingertips or the crack of a skull meeting brick after brick after brick, or the click click of light switch over and over and over or when insignificance becomes significant loss of weight till the only thought is what is on your next plate and at the opposite end of those scales weigh in the protective layers of fat that keep away the horrible dreams because "daddy isn't attracted to that sort of size" so please suspend judgement based on bias and cheap lies about seeking attention, laziness or weak minds.

These people were broken by people and crisis, by purposeful infractions or accidental actions so the physiological reaction to cope with rejection is to build up defences and hide from emotion but remember these people are broken so hold them together, hold them forever remember they are human and robbed of self worth. Distorted, abnormal and awful should not be so normal to the victims of fate. It's never too late for someone to recover, never fully mind you, just enough to discover a way to survive and to deal with their past because whatever Disney says the past is never just in the past.



Hope you enjoy ^ ^
This is just so beautiful.

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Old 08-04-2014, 11:43 PM   #7
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Thanks for the suggestions. I have done them, yes and no about nerves, I am more nervous about two other poems because I am afraid of losing control of my emotions and one of my poems is an angry poem about an extremely personal event. I have had problems feeling emotions in the past and hadn't felt anger for over 15 years until I wrote this poem. Emotions are very personal to me as I am programmed to fake them and hide them. So this poem wont be too nerve racking but the other ones may be a lot worse!

I am now fully intrigued about your 3 pages ^ ^

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Old 08-04-2014, 11:49 PM   #8
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Yeah i can relate to that. I also was unable to feel anger for about ten years but that was the side effects of medication. I couldnt feel anything. I am glad that you found it in you and that you were able to get it out in a healthy way by writing it down. Well done.

Feel free to share the poem with us if you would like. Id love to read it but no pressure at all. i can understand it being personal.



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Old 09-04-2014, 12:39 AM   #9
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I dont mind sharing it since I am going to be reading it infront of people anyway. It is very angry and it is basically written about someobody who raped me as a child. (sorry to put it bliuntly but the poem is gonna be about it)

Talk about art therapy.

This is my therapy. This is my art!
And I'm about to verbally rip you apart!
You're a thief craving power cause you never really had it,
You took innocence from a child,
Your disgusting! Thrusting your weight on my chest.
You undressed happiness,
I detest the stress that you pressed down on top of me.
A friend, even family, yet void of humanity,
I tell myself I have forgiven you
Wishing it true but I'm through sitting in darkness,
Well memories tear me in two.
When you look in the mirror do you see me?
Cause I see you!
For years I have smashed that reflection
Cut up my feelings,
Dug words into my heart as I try to repress them,
Entrenched in my self like a worthless impression.
Expression is something I have only just found!
So I'll pound out these words
Erase what you have done to me.
You unwanted vermin molesting my memory!
Sick pervert!
How dare you even share breath with me!
Unworthy of any part of my self worth OR virginity.
The vicinity of that memory is no longer welcome within,
So I'm letting it out cause my patience wears thin,
You are garbage! waste!
The things that you did,
Are reflections of thoughts that I hope you can hide from.
If you saw the monster I saw, you could never survive him.
The torment would swallow you up deep inside
And you'd run from your fear exactly as I've done.
NO MORE! ENOUGH! STOP, You excuse of a man!
Haunt my dreams nevermore,
Whore your feelings in hell!
Cause earth might just house you but heaven never will.

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Old 09-04-2014, 04:49 PM   #10
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It is very emotional and a bit painful to read actually. I like do like it though. The fact that it evokes strong emotions in me, is meant as a compliment. Well done and good luck.



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Old 09-04-2014, 11:52 PM   #11
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Thank you ^ ^

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Old 10-04-2014, 05:40 PM   #12
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I am just adding these two work in progress poems so that I can view them on my mobile from the field

The sunlight shines on - the stump of wood feels the tears, but blossoms no more.

No more debates about philosophy and life affirming arguing. No more faked sexual tension and grossly inappropriate banter. No more Christmas wrappers falling away to reveal just bubble wrap - the agreed present of choice among siblings. There are no more tiny circles to burst on that roll. No more empty promises of visits that I truly wish I'd kept, I've wept for weeks over this one. I keep writing brother but what about uncle? You see I have a daughter.

I ask you not to confuse the sadness in my voice for that emotion, my devotion to our daughter is all the reason I need for me to truly dig deep and rip out the seed of anger you planted when you left us. All of us! Your brother, sister, mother, friends - gah, so many friends, important ones AND your niece.

How dare you! How many pacts did you break when you died, how many lies did you tell with your suicide. How many lives did you rip apart. turn upside down, discard and deny.

How dare you! Shine such a loving light in our eyes that it blinds us from the person stood behind and hides so much pain that the tears of happiness crystallise in the corners of our mind fill our vision with rainbow light that sparkles and dazzles only to realise that we have just been robbed!

We have sobbed and sobbed.

How dare you! My heart will never heal. I will deal with it and carry on because I don't have a choice. Then there's this voice that says don't you? Is it yours? Is it mine? Sometimes I have thought to myself I would never cross that line that I have an obligation to stay and other times the lines seemed closer and like it would never go away because before you died I never suffered doubt. Not truly.

I am angry with you and since you aren't here there are only so many directions I can channel it. Our mother...drugs....sleep deprivation.....but mostly myself for not saving you. How can I raise a daughter when I cant even save a brother. How can I let my wife love me when I allowed such atrocity to happen to another. I failed my family when I didn't discover or uncover what was really going on.

When I say how dare you I think what I really mean is I love you...yeah.




LA LA
In the woodlands at night, the cottontails dance under moonlight,
Sunny days to a bunny raise very little spark in the way of delight,
For a rabbit; the moonlight is bliss.

La La, a very patient bunny indeed, had been waiting all day for his chance to play,
in that vivid blue shimmering speckled shine! His outstretched ears, met sketched eyes etched onto a silver jacket brushed to hide imperfection for La la wore his best coat tonight!

The familiar beat of adult feet drummed the message as Morse code, the coast is clear my little dears come out, come out and dance!

The chant, was not missed, by any pocket sized warm kissed cutey on the short list to a club called morning mist and with a name like that no rabbit could resist so the stampede of tiny paws pattered past as La La stumbled his way through a mud tunnel to head to the light.

La La, heart racing from the beat of raving rabbits ready to meet him with bunny hop jive, tango, boogie and waltz frolicked his last few steps ready to breach the entrance way to his one-step jump, jitterbug as he followed the conga line out into the night!

The cool breeze, brushed over him, rushed through his silvery coat as he thrust his eyes open to take in the sight but his savvy efforts were met with grassy defeat for the clouds covered the mystical skies and the shroud of darkness ate at his visions of crowds and good times!

Perplexed and confused (and not at all amused) La La stumbled off through the eve he cut across fields of crops, jolting and jarring every corn cobbed soldier he bounced off of and crashed into! He clapped a clatter until the patter of his friends could be heard no more and onwards he went!

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Old 10-04-2014, 09:07 PM   #13
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These are really good, thanks for sharing



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