I need a definitive way to figure out if I am dead or not and the only way that I can currently think of to do so is to do something that would kill me.
While I would rather not be dead it would be okay because that is what needs to happen but I don't particularly want to be dead. But I think I might already be dead so it might be irrelevant?
I'm really sorry for posting a new thread but suggestions would be appreciated.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
Check your vital signs, pulse etc. Sorry to hear you are distressed.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
Thanks Oly. Things seem to respond to me like my dog, but I am pretty sure none of this is real or actually happening since I am already dead. So I do not think that really counts as definitive because if none of this is real it can't be trusted.
That is why the only thing I can think of would have to be something that would kill me.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
IF you're alive, which I believe you are, and you try to kill yourself to prove you're dead then you'd be dead so... that doesn't seem helpful.
Does it matter if none of this is real and you're already dead? I mean, can you sit with it and still live out your life and see what happens?
Seems to me the best way to cover both bases. If you're alive, you won't have wasted your life by ending it. And if you're dead, you'll at least be doing something productive.
I'm not sure this has come across clearly, but please, please don't hurt yourself. Dogs don't react to dead or unreal things.
You're alive because I'm reading your post. You've logged on to RYL and written this, and I certainly haven't made it up in my head. So it must mean you're alive, because dead people can't do things like that.
Can you think about this in another way? For example feeling dead is probably coming from your mind, you probably feel dead emotionally, or inside, but it doesn't mean you're physically dead. It sounds like intense emotional distress is being masked by feeling dead which is a protective mechanism your brain has decided to use.
As Aimee says, if you try to prove you're dead (or alive) then you'll wind up actually killing yourself and that won't be helpful.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
I agree with Sarah, if you were dead surely everyone logging in to RYL and replying to this thread must be dead, I'm alive! If you're dead how are you managing to hold things, walk etc? How can you feel resistance against things?
The majority of your posts focus in the end on you being dead/ want to be dead and I'm wondering if you're learning to cope by this by your mind reverting to a state where it's tricking you into believing you're dead, you're not and killing yourself to see won't prove anything as if you were alive before you'd then be dead so wouldn't acknowledge whether or not something had been proven or disproven. Also, if you're dead once more you wouldn't be able to prove it by attempting to kill yourself, it doesn't work like that.
Have you spoken to your therapist about feeling like this? I think it may be worthwhile.
I need a definitive way to figure out if I am dead or not and the only way that I can currently think of to do so is to do something that would kill me.
Could you instead try to find a definitive way to figure out that you are alive? And by extension only do things which prove that you are alive? Anything that gives you a strong sensory perception would prove this (e.g. feeling cold, eating something sour or hot, listening to loud music). Also, being alive means you are confined to things such as gravity, not being able to see around corners and being restricted by walls and gates. These things all still apply to you but tend to be thought of as irrelevant for dead people/ghosts/spirits. Can you write a list of all the things going on for you which suggest you are indeed alive?
IF you're alive, which I believe you are, and you try to kill yourself to prove you're dead then you'd be dead so... that doesn't seem helpful.
Does it matter if none of this is real and you're already dead? I mean, can you sit with it and still live out your life and see what happens?
Seems to me the best way to cover both bases. If you're alive, you won't have wasted your life by ending it. And if you're dead, you'll at least be doing something productive.
I'm not sure this has come across clearly, but please, please don't hurt yourself. Dogs don't react to dead or unreal things.
If it turns out I'm not dead though, then I would need to be dead. So it would help in that sense. But if none of this is real because I am dead, then nothing else is real either.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sherlock holmes
You're alive because I'm reading your post. You've logged on to RYL and written this, and I certainly haven't made it up in my head. So it must mean you're alive, because dead people can't do things like that.
Can you think about this in another way? For example feeling dead is probably coming from your mind, you probably feel dead emotionally, or inside, but it doesn't mean you're physically dead. It sounds like intense emotional distress is being masked by feeling dead which is a protective mechanism your brain has decided to use.
As Aimee says, if you try to prove you're dead (or alive) then you'll wind up actually killing yourself and that won't be helpful.
I am not lying though. and I do not feel like I am distressed. I am unsure how that would make sense?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Epicene
Could you instead try to find a definitive way to figure out that you are alive? And by extension only do things which prove that you are alive? Anything that gives you a strong sensory perception would prove this (e.g. feeling cold, eating something sour or hot, listening to loud music). Also, being alive means you are confined to things such as gravity, not being able to see around corners and being restricted by walls and gates. These things all still apply to you but tend to be thought of as irrelevant for dead people/ghosts/spirits. Can you write a list of all the things going on for you which suggest you are indeed alive?
Hmm. But if none of this is really happening I am unsure how to do that?
Quote:
Originally Posted by EyelinerAndCigarettes
I can't add anymore suggestions but wanted to reply to send you love & support & hugs.
Thinking of you
x x x
Thanks, Helen.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
I agree with Sarah, if you were dead surely everyone logging in to RYL and replying to this thread must be dead, I'm alive! If you're dead how are you managing to hold things, walk etc? How can you feel resistance against things?
The majority of your posts focus in the end on you being dead/ want to be dead and I'm wondering if you're learning to cope by this by your mind reverting to a state where it's tricking you into believing you're dead, you're not and killing yourself to see won't prove anything as if you were alive before you'd then be dead so wouldn't acknowledge whether or not something had been proven or disproven. Also, if you're dead once more you wouldn't be able to prove it by attempting to kill yourself, it doesn't work like that.
Have you spoken to your therapist about feeling like this? I think it may be worthwhile.
I was trying to reply to everyone in one post but somehow it did not work.
I have not talked to doctor lady in at least a few weeks. Last time it was to get my notes because I am not supposed to be seeing her anymore or something. She is trying to blackmail me into seeing her.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
Unless I magically come up with 14 dollars each time to see her once every week or every two weeks and engage better (which I have explained money is an issue, scheduling appointments in advance is an issue, and I try as best I can) then I can't be seen there again by anyone. Sounds like blackmail to me.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
Any living organism can only die once in their lifetime. By this logic, if you are dead already you cannot be rekilled.
Additionally, there is no such thing as after life, once your body shuts down your consciousness and brain die too: which means it would be impossible to be able to type online and interact with people were you dead: which concludes that you are alive. Also with wanting to kill yourself to make sure- just think, humans can only die once so it is almost a pointless task to prove that you are dead.
If you are dead, you couldn't communicate with us. You couldn't type and a lot of us wouldn't be graced by your online presence anymore: it's impossible. And if you succeeded in killing yourself "again" then we wouldn't know unless someone knows you offline and informed us. You wouldn't be able to inform us.
My point is, could you use science and fact to re realise reality maybe?
Any living organism can only die once in their lifetime. By this logic, if you are dead already you cannot be rekilled.
Additionally, there is no such thing as after life, once your body shuts down your consciousness and brain die too: which means it would be impossible to be able to type online and interact with people were you dead: which concludes that you are alive. Also with wanting to kill yourself to make sure- just think, humans can only die once so it is almost a pointless task to prove that you are dead.
If you are dead, you couldn't communicate with us. You couldn't type and a lot of us wouldn't be graced by your online presence anymore: it's impossible. And if you succeeded in killing yourself "again" then we wouldn't know unless someone knows you offline and informed us. You wouldn't be able to inform us.
My point is, could you use science and fact to re realise reality maybe?
I never said this was the afterlife. I don't personally believe in an afterlife and that is not what this is. So while I appreciate the reply I am unsure I see the relevance.
Last edited by Auror. : 18-03-2015 at 05:52 AM.
Reason: did not want to be rude
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
Ok, is there anyone else you could speak to who is free? I know university's in the UK all (or should I say almost all due to not checking them all out) have members of staff trained to deal with MH, even if it's just a counsellor. Many also have a disability officer which deals more with MH type issues but that's mor at looking at practical solutions to your problems.
I don't think she is trying to black mail you. She is probably trying to cover her expenses and also trying to get the most out of it for you as possible. It may be you're given x number of sessions for free and then after that you have to pay. Blackmail tends to be used to cover up something occurring and it doesn't sound like you know anything that she doesn't want you telling anyone else which is what blackmail is about so I think you're maybe using the wrong term and also black mail is illegal and she would lose her licence if that were the case.
Could you maybe email her to clarify why she wants you to pay now whereas before you got the sessions for free? Also, are there any nearby MH charities who may be able to help you for free.
Why, if you're not dead already (which I'm pretty certain you're not as people wouldn't be interacting with you at all) do you feel like you need to be dead? I think that's the main issue here that needs to be explored.
I've always had to pay but with not having had a job money has been an issue and I'm still spending more than what I make even with the new job. I told her that was a lot of money and she said everyone else always manages to make it work which I think is extremely unfair to try and compare without even knowing the situation.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
