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Reviews Requested- Contains upsetting material - RIP I love you :(
7:30 PM
I got your text.
You were going on and on and on and on
About how you want to move on and on and on and on,
To leave your mom and this abuse that went on.
And I rambled on and on and on and on,
Not realizing what was going on.
The screaming still echos through my house.
8:00 PM
We've gone on and on and on and on
About how you shouldn't move on
How I couldn't go on
If you were gone.
"I love you!!" "You don't understand!"
I tried.
I tried to show you what was going on
In my mind, how I couldn't bear to lose you.
Dings of text alerts quickly firing on and on and on and on.
And then there was silence. No reply. Nothingness.
Nothingness was all I heard and it was deafening.
I felt so sick, so helpless, so useless.
No reply.
8:45 PM
I was going out of my mind
Trying to find an excuse of why
You wouldn't reply.
Pleading.
Rereading these things I was seeing.
No dings.
10:00 PM
"I have physically worried myself sick"
"Where are you now?
For the love of god don't do this to me."
"GODDAMN IT I CANT LOSE YOU, PLEASE BE OK OH MY GOD"
And God did damn it.
2:45 AM
"I can see the Northern Lights here. It's beautiful weather, really. I hope you're seeing this too, amazing."
"I've played all your favorite songs for you, please please PLEASE call me, let's have our own concert :D"
No reply. No dings. Nothingness.
The lights outside did nothing but make it easier to see how much of a wreck I was.
At home
Alone
Frantically waiting to hear my phone go
Ding. Nothing. Nothingness.
7:46 AM
Literally jump out of bed to my phone ringing.
"Hello? Oh my God are you okay?!?"
It wasn't her. It was her mom.
"Oh my God.....She's gone....."
She had moved on. She had gone
And found the pills
They keep above the windowsill
And locked her door and slept forevermore.
No dings. Nothing. Nothingness.
Her mother's screams.
They were in my dreams
That night.
I miss you so much
And it's been like no time at all
But forever in the same moment.
Take care of yourself, I hope you have the best goddamn view ever.
You'll never understand how much I loved you. I failed you, and I'm so so sorry. I have to move on
And on
And on
And on.
You're gone.
RIP S 1998-2014
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