I shouldn't feel this way

[Celticroots]

I relapsed and bruised after almost six months of not bruising or cutting. While part of me was angry that I harmed after so long free, another part of me felt like I was meeting an old friend. The comfort, the release, all the stuff I associate with harming came back.

I know I shouldn't feel that way, but I can't help it either.

No one knows about my relapse so I wanted to post here to get it off my chest. Hiding my bruises are stressing me out, but I don't want my Mom to find out either. I am on vacation so hiding them in a hotel room is harder (like when I undress to shower or get dressed).

[lord of luck]

that's a normal reaction to a relapse; in a way it's like an old friend, a form of comfort. do you feel like you can get through the next few days without harming? it's really hard to have to hide things cuz of stress.

good job on the six months!!!! that's awesome! Don't discount how long you lasted just because of one relapse, you're doing great <3

[Celticroots]

Thank you for the reply. I am sorry that I didn't reply sooner. I've been really busy this last week.

[KneeSocks]

You made it six months that's a long time. Yes, you had a relapse but you went a very long time before you did.
How are you feeling now? Are you okay?

[Celticroots]

Thanks for the reply Socks. So far I am doing ok, although I cut last Sunday.