Live Help


Forum Jump
Post New Thread  Reply
Old 05-07-2015, 12:50 AM   #1
forever2016
seeking help and understanding
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
I am currently:
hi

hi guys, I am new to this site however not new to being around self harm. I am in a wonderful relationship with my girlfriend who is soon to be my wife. I have never self harmed myself but my girlfriend does and lately I have been finding it hard to understand why she won't take the help available to her it has caused a few arguments between us which I know won't help and which haven't helped however this is where I struggle. she has self harmed for many years at least 8/9 years and has been in and out of specialised hospitals but still struggles to regulate her emotions. I have read up on it but all the helps and tips on their sights she had tried and says it doesn't help!!! she struggles to tell even me how she actually feels because at times she doesn't know how she feels I can see it in her when she is going to self harm but I can't stop her. my aim of joining this sight is to speak with other like my girlfriend to see if you can help me help her! I would really appreciate your help and support.

forever2016 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-07-2015, 07:08 AM   #2
Anne with an e
 
Anne with an e's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
I am currently:

Hi!

I'm so glad you're here! Trying to understand where she's coming from and what you can do for her is already one of the BEST things you can do. ... As someone who has struggled with self harm for a number of years and wished more people had a better understanding, thank you!! And this is probably a good place to be, because yeah, you'll get a lot of feedback from people dealing with the same stuff your gf is trying to handle.

Feel free to PM me if you'd like :)

Anne with an e is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-07-2015, 07:23 AM   #3
Anne with an e
 
Anne with an e's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
I am currently:

One thing I can say right off the bat, though, is that accessing the help available to her could be highly overwhelming and/or really scary. Overwhelming because, while you can see the issues relatively clearly as an outsider, from her mind they probably seem like the biggest mess she's ever dealt with. If she's anything like me, she is probably battling thoughts that accessing help would be making a mountain out of a mole hill and roping people into supporting her when there are so many others who need it more. It's distorted thinking, but it's the way our minds work.

I'm also wondering if she might be scared of letting go of SH as a coping skill. Especially if she's been using it for years, it's probably terrifying to imagine living without it, which is sort of what accessing help might push her to do. If you think about cutting the same way you'd think about any other coping skill - running, writing, talking, painting, sports, etc. - it might make more sense. It's like, "This is how I handle hard stuff." And if that way of handling things makes them easier to cope with, then trying to live without that coping skill would be - IS - terrifying. It's like taking away a person's shield in the middle of battle. Granted, the shield is made of toxic material and slowing killing the person (it's a bad example, but you get the idea), but they feel like it's the only think keeping them safe from the swords and arrows flying around them.

Anne with an e is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-07-2015, 03:05 PM   #4
forever2016
seeking help and understanding
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
I am currently:

thank you so much for taking your time to respond to me. everything you said makes a lot of sense and I know she will access the help when she is ready. it's just heart braking sitting back and letting it happen but like you said it is her way of dealing with her stress and worries and I couldn't possibly imagine what would happened if she didn't do that. it's so good to be on here listening to what ppl have to say it's so much help for an outsider. thank you

forever2016 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Members Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Censor is ON
Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 08:15 PM.

Back to top