Thank you, I've been trying to get the guts to call a crisis line but I keep just staring at my keypad unable to dial. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow, but he isn't the most empathetic person.
I have a planned admission coming up and my partner really wants it to be pushed forward considering what has happened but he isn't keen on the idea which is frustrating to my partner because I've been in emergency twice in a week and he just said 'It won't do any good'
I will definitely have a look at the tips for flashbacks, I know some grounding techniques which have slightly helped. Though today has been awful, I am so exhausted by everything. I had to go out to buy ferret food and I was so anxious and afraid I was shaking by the time I got to the supermarket and had forgotten why I had gone.
I'm trying really hard to be strong and brave but I feel so weak and vulnerable.
Right now? Pretty overwhelmed. Can't think enough to study and I have a paper due in a week and a bit that I've barely started which is stressing me out even more. I've spent about 3 hours on it today but keep zoning out, remembering and just rereading the same lines unable to take it in.
*hugs* You should take a break. It's obvious that doing your assignment right now isn't doing you any good, both in terms of finishing your your paper or helping you relax. Maybe you can try studying with your partner later on, so that she can help you focus more, and suggest some ideas herself? Maybe just the feel of having someone present helping you out with your work might decrease the stress a little?
For right now, maybe you could take a break and do something to relax? Take a warm bath, do something you like? You have the entire week to submit your paper, and I'm sure with some help, you can definitely do it. Although no offence, but I really don't like the attitude of your professor. Is there any way you could talk to a Department Head, or a higher authority who could talk your professor into pushing your deadlines forward?
It can be extremely hard to initiate the talk. The fact that you're thinking about calling the crisis help line is really good- just give yourself time, you can do it and you'll get out. Does talking to your psychiatrist help, if he doesn't empathise? You're not just trying- you ARE being strong and brave- I can see that with every post you make, and I am so proud of you for that! It's okay to feel that way, but you're pulling yourself out of it- bit by bit, yeah? You're going to be okay :) Take care x
I did end up taking a break, just laid in bed with some relaxation music. Only for a short time because I started to get anxious lying down. Trying to distract for a bit until my partner gets home. Then I might try studying again.
It's not my professor I was talking about, but my psychiatrist. I have a planned psychiatric admission coming up and my partner is worried about my safety so wants me in hospita earlier since I've been in the emergency twice in a week. It was my psychiatrist who said the early admission 'wouldn't do any good' Talking to him doesn't really help, no. He just keeps saying things like 'you can't let this take over your life' when I'm doing the exact opposite, it frustrated my partner and I so much because I do everything a healthy person my age would do, and probably more since I'm out of home, I contribute financially to the household, pay bills, clean, cook, study, take care of my pets and everything else. I don't understand why he keeps saying that to me.
Thanks for saying I am strong and brave :) I am doing my best. Trying to pull myself out of it. Thanks again
Ah, sorry about the professor mistake, my bad. It looks like your psychiatrist genuinely has no idea what you're struggling with. It doesn't look to me like you're letting this take over your life- in fact like you said- you're doing everything a healthy person your age would do. You're going about your normal life, it's just those few moments when you're free and are done with all your work that the memories and flashbacks come back. Especially, in light of recent events, it's completely understandable that you'd be anxious. And that's normal, that's what you need help coping up with- these flashbacks (or this is just my opinion, it doesn't have to be true). Since talking with your current psychiatrist doesn't seem to be helping, have you tried consulting another psychiatrist? I think talking on the crisis helpline would help- give you another professional's perspective on what's been happening, and maybe they’ll offer different suggestions than that of your psychiatrist’s. If you ever feel like you're ready to do it and talk about it, please try, yeah? :)
You don't have to thank me, it's the truth :) I'm really, really glad to hear how supportive your partner's being. I understand that a psychiatrist is trained to deal with these sort of things, but ultimately, if you think he's not helping you, and just frustrating you, then maybe you should try to seek another psychiatrist's opinion? Hope you're doing okay now. Take care x
Did you get yourself protected from pregnancy after the rape and checked for STI's? Also the longer you leave seeking help the harder it will be. I've been raped too and seeking the right help was the best thing I could have done. Good luck and I'm thinking of you.
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
Thanks Tan.D I had enough trouble getting my current psychiatrist to take me on, and I don't want to end up without one. Maybe he will come round, we'll see.
I'm really sorry to hear it AveryGamerDude.
fragile as glass, I'm male so there's no need for a pregnancy test, I'm going to a clinic on Monday to be tested for STIs.
I hear what you are saying about the sooner the better, I just don't know if I can.
Having a really hard time with all this. The other night the same guys came after me and smacked me around the face trying to get me in their car. I'm not going to be going many places alone.
I'm so sorry to hear this. Giving you massive hugs.
“The only way that we can live is if we grow. The only way we can grow is if we change. The only way we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we are exposed is if we throw ourselves into the open.”