“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
its easier 2 give up then 2 fight i dont have the energy or will to fight anymore, im not worthy of recovering anyway ohh im not even bad enough 2 say i have a prob. i arghhh basically feel like crap hmmmm
ashlee of course you're worth recovery. you all are. I'm not but you all are.
I actually ate twice today. Not much though, just soup and then a yoghurt but it was a lot to me and then I felt so guilty.
But tomorrow I'll have to eat more cos my cousin will be here and we're having dinner together, then probably going to the cinema so I'll have popcorn or something. So I guess that's good although scary. It's ok to eat somedays though, right?
Of course it's okay to eat nikaroo (sorry I don't know your name), you need to eat to survive. And well done on eating the yoghurt and the soup. *hugs*
Friends bbq today. Dreading it. Already planning the lies.
Cuddles, maybe just try to have a little of everything? Take care though Katie.
So I looked at the scales and was happy. But I know it wont be for long. I have aims that will mean my weight has to drop. But 6 stone 13 pounds and 4 ounces is a good start :S I will never be happy and this is so hard to do but I feel so compulsed (dunno if that is a word)
L_M_G is my mummy :) inkerman and razorbladedarling are my two non-identical twin sprogs (concieved on same day) Scabette< cos she has the cutest puppy dog eyes and i cant resist!feeling-afraid< my bottle of glitter!! which i just have to have :Pmidnight stars< my gorgeous sister, whom i love to bits ;) Dance With The Fairy< *star*gazing*buddie :] Broken-Fairy is my partner in crime ;) little_miss is my real life saviour PaperClip is my stationary queen
*hugs you all*
Surprising mystery [sorry don't know your name] I'm not going to lecture you or anything, please just stay safe...
I don't get it. She says she thinks I've got an eating disorder but she won't tell me what it is. I don't think she even knows herself. There's nothing wrong with me. I'm just not as hungry as I used to be. I've only lost a couple of pounds. That's nothing. It'll pile back on soon enough. Not made any difference to me anyways; still got these big lumps of fat everywhere. I'm fine. I'm eating more than enough. So back off.
The only time you will find real light is when you're searching in the dark..
Urgh. I'm eating-alot more than Im used to. Three meals a day-which is good I guess, it's just, I can't deal with it. Blah. I'm purging these days too, once-only a little. It's getting addictive-it is addictive.
Robyn please break the cycle. You are gorgeous. Stunning. Don't loose sense of yourself now, please sweetheart.
I just want to say, please please try to get out of this now, it may be ok for a while but it wont be later, there are many bad effects of purging, as I am sure you know.
Well, I lost some more weight :S but strangly, not surprisingly however, I am happy. But I still want more of this. Thats how it is, I may be asking for help but I'm not sure I want to let this go yet.
L_M_G is my mummy :) inkerman and razorbladedarling are my two non-identical twin sprogs (concieved on same day) Scabette< cos she has the cutest puppy dog eyes and i cant resist!feeling-afraid< my bottle of glitter!! which i just have to have :Pmidnight stars< my gorgeous sister, whom i love to bits ;) Dance With The Fairy< *star*gazing*buddie :] Broken-Fairy is my partner in crime ;) little_miss is my real life saviour PaperClip is my stationary queen
I know how you feel, but keep reaching out for help, you might change your mind.
I felt REALLY ill earlier. I survived until the afternoon on 200 calories, but because im sleep deprived, and my blood sugar dropped so low, I felt horrible, dizzy, woozy, my head was spinning. I lay down in bed, then got up and I almost passed out from a headrush.
I did manage to eat a banana, which im proud of because it helped a bit, but its only since dinner that I've felt "right" again... I guess it goes to show I might think my body is doing ok but sometimes it struggles on so little food.
Im almost getting used to feeling tired dizzy and sick. *sigh*
s a r a h
* pm me * eating disorders info *
"Between two worlds life hovers like a star,
twixt night and morn, upon the horizon's verge."
- Lord Byron
my grad party is tomorrow... and i have to eat cause a)rents are suspicious and b)my friends (who know) are gonna be there...
meh
*sigh*
and im terrified bout college- yes it's like 2 months away, but...
ugh
take care guys <3
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
I'm struggling. Rapid cycling between restricting and binging. Does my head in. On Friday, some of the patients in the ED unit were out walking and argh, I kept thinking it should be me in the inpatient ED unit, not the self harm one.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
My cousin guessed my weight the other day and she guessed around 8 stone - thats 112lbs. I weigh 104. I look a whole 8lbs heavier than I am. Over half a stone. That freaks me out.
s a r a h
* pm me * eating disorders info *
"Between two worlds life hovers like a star,
twixt night and morn, upon the horizon's verge."
- Lord Byron
Its hard to tell weight when someone has clothes on, besides 8 stone is still tiny.
Um I ate a decent meal tonight as we went out cos its fathers day. There is no way I can get rid of it, so I am trying to forget cos there is never any point worrying about something I cant do much about. Well unless I was to purge but I am pathetic and weak and far too scaired :S Why cant I just be normal.
L_M_G is my mummy :) inkerman and razorbladedarling are my two non-identical twin sprogs (concieved on same day) Scabette< cos she has the cutest puppy dog eyes and i cant resist!feeling-afraid< my bottle of glitter!! which i just have to have :Pmidnight stars< my gorgeous sister, whom i love to bits ;) Dance With The Fairy< *star*gazing*buddie :] Broken-Fairy is my partner in crime ;) little_miss is my real life saviour PaperClip is my stationary queen
You are normal. I'm so glad to hear you ate something and I hope you won't purge., You're right, there's no point in worrying about it now.
I haven't eaten in 2 days and I'm not eating tomorrow either. I need to not eat for 3 days. I don't even deserve to eat, I'm horrible. I finally got to my lowest weight, which I'm not saying cos it's still way too much and besides I'll probably be up again tomorrow. So I can't be happy about it. But I'm happy cos I got to stare lots at someone I like (I sound like a stalker now but I'm not, I swear)
Up and down all the ****ing time. It's doing my head in. No self control, i either dont eat or completely binge; there is no middle ground... Where did it go all those years ago?!?! I'm struggling to do anything, it's all so confused and messed up
Are we demented or am I disturbed?
The space that's in between insane and insecure...
Yesterday i wanted to restrict REEEEEEALY BADLY. I was still willing to eat but i was just going to have lettus and cucumber....sooooo....i thought ;i cant let this ED win' and forced myself to have a proper meal...i hated every second of it but i'm glad i fought the thought i showed ANA whos boss!
“Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles.”
----
its easier 2 give up then 2 fight i dont have the energy or will to fight anymore, im not worthy of recovering anyway ohh im not even bad enough 2 say i have a prob. i arghhh basically feel like crap hmmmm
