I’ve already emailed my tutor today about some of the things that are worrying me about college, like I’m part of the WhatsApp group for my course and everyone is extremely bitchy. Last week our tutor asked us to watch the Jesy Nelson documentary on bullying because she’s aware of some of the issues, but it just seems to be getting worse and there doesn’t seem to be any real consequences for people, despite the college code of conduct saying you‘ll be kicked out for any abusive behaviour. I don’t know if the individuals involved have to have a ‘trial’ or ‘second chance’ before that happens. It’s not specifically aimed at me, they seem to be targeting everyone, it’s just tiring and it’s not conducive to a productive and safe learning environment.
I’m tired. I know I don’t get enough sleep, I play on my iPad until the small hours and then struggle to get up for college and my work placement. I’ve tried downloading a sleep app, which does help to send me to sleep, my problem is staying asleep without being awake for hours before I manage to fall back asleep.
I’m seeing my GP this afternoon so I’m planning on mentioning some of these issues to her. I’m actually wondering if I need a meds increase now I’ve been on a stable does for a while, will see what she says.
Ah that WhatsApp stuff sounds awful. Is there a way you can stay out of it or is it necessary to be in the group for the course? Hopefully your tutor can help sort things out.
I think speaking to your GP about your sleep is a really good idea. Maybe you could read a book or something else other than using your iPad before sleeping? Using screens before bed isn't good for your sleeping pattern.
Are there any self care things you can do today to try to relax yourself a bit?
My tutor says I can leave the group if I want, but she’s going to speak to me tomorrow at lunch time before afternoon classes start. She replied to my email saying some lovely things about the quality of my work and my feedback from placement. She’s also going to speak to placement about letting me have one day off a week (placement is 2 days, college 3 days) so I have a study day for all the work we’re doing and then I can make up days during the summer holidays as it’s a 2 year course. I feel this would help a bit, she also said she had some other ideas regarding time management and getting distracted easily (I’m autistic so I struggle with staying focused when there is lots of noise around me, for example).
GP was lovely as usual. Reluctant to refer me to the CMHT because I should be getting a support worker through the organisation that helps with my autism, and I’m waiting for Cruse to see me after the grief of my mum dying from cancer at the age of 54 hit me hard last year. She was also reluctant to put me on sleeping meds because she said they’d make me feel even more groggy, and that potentially wouldn’t be a good idea if I was running about looking after kids all day and would make it harder to concentrate in classes and things. Reading a book instead of playing on my iPad may be an idea, I shall try that!
Going to make dinner for my partner and I in a minute and then I’m going to have a bath and chill out playing Spyro. They’ve just brought out the remastered version for the Nintendo Switch, freaking loved that game as a kid.
I'm glad your tutor has some ideas, that must be reassuring. Also it's always nice to hear good things about your work. =)
Yeah, sleeping pills shouldn't be a first reaction but there are others things to try or change about your pre-bed routine. I hear camomile tea is good for relaxing you... Do you know how soon you might get a support working and hear from Cruse?
An evening of Spyro sounds fun. Hope it all helps to make you feel better.
Cruse said they'd be able to see me sometime this month, it's now coming to the end of the month so I'm going to phone them on Friday to see if there are any updates. Ditto with the support worker, I'm waiting for an official diagnosis. My GP chased the diagnostic team up the last time I saw her, again she said that it would be Octoberish when I saw them. it's about time, I've waited 18 months.
I normally don't have a routine, maybe that's the problem. My partner always comes into my room before bed so she can have a smoke, but apart from that I don't really have a set routine apart from doing all my homework before I go to bed because I don't have time during the day. I drink decaf tea before I go to bed, have a bath and do my bag for the next day but apart from that I don't really do anything relaxing before bed.
What do you find relaxing that you might be able to do before bed? Also, what is your bedroom and environment like? Is it comfortable/warm enough/dark enough etc?
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
Cruse phoned me today but I was kept back in college so I missed their call. Will try to phone them on Monday, they’re shut over the weekend.
Meeting with tutor was extremely helpful yesterday. She’s going to help me with the module she teaches, and even suggested just submitting the same assignment as last year with a few tweaks (I had to suspend last year, but I did pass one or two assignments). She also made me an assessment due date sheet and gave me a website that helps you plan dates etc for getting specific parts of the assessment done. I have 3 deadlines for October, so she told me to focus on those over the reading week and the October holidays and then we’ll see where we are after that.
My bedroom is quite warm. I have a weighted blanket and a plushie Baymax my partner bought me for Christmas last year that I like to cuddle. I also like having baths which I find really relaxing. I like reading too, need to have a look for some good books in Waterstones this weekend. I usually have Ovaltine or a cup of decaf tea before bed, it makes me sleepy. I could also look in to taking my meds earlier, but the problem I have with that is they make me sleepy so if I take them any earlier I’d potentially be too tired to get homework done.
I'm so pleased the tutor is supporting you, keep using her support.
I hope you manage to get through to Cruse on Monday.
Do you have a regular go to bed and get up time? I have found that really helpful rather than it being all over the place. If you could get into a routine where you can fit in your homework and some time to wind down then I think it would become much easier for you to sleep since your body keeps following the pattern.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I like reading all sorts, but mainly romances and books by Jodi Picoult. I've read all of her books more than once, she's an amazing writer.
I've tried to implement a regular get up and go to sleep time but not at the weekends which I think is what is tripping me up. I've started my homework an hour early tonight so here's hoping it makes a difference.
How have you been getting on over the past few days? Do you think you'd be able to try sticking to a routine with your sleep over the weekend as well as through the week? I know it can be harder at the weekend and much easier to have a lie in on weekend mornings or stay up a lot later at night.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
Things have been ok. Been busy with assessments and placement and classes, so that has mostly helped me take my mind off things. I got a smiley face sticker for my homework today, I was so proud! Haha.
I’m actually sleeping better now I’ve got into the swing of things. I’m usually shattered by this time so I’m gonna go have a bath and go to bed, ready for another day of it tomorrow. It’s nearly the holidays though, woohoo!
Well done with all of that. A smiley face sticker is excellent! I used to have really cool rewards stickers with words on them that were 3D but then they disappeared from the shops. It's good to recognise your achievements, is there a way you can praise/reward yourself for the things you do well?
I'm glad your sleep is settling too. Do you think you'll manage to stick to a routine over the holidays? Do you have much to be getting on with or will you be able to have a break?
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I'm going to see my dad over the reading week we have because with three cats its hard to get any work done at home and the library is closed. My youngest cat Sooty is still a kitten and likes sitting on my laptop/desk/writing paper if I'm working, he prefers me to pay him attention instead! Plus I've been so busy so I haven't seen him in a while.
Technically we're supposed to have a week off but the college are giving us two as long as we use one of them as a reading week. We've been given tons of work and have 3 assignment deadlines for the two weeks after the holidays (21st, 28th and 29th of October) so I don't imagine it'll be much of a holiday! I passed 2 of them last year but I have to resit them because the outcomes are slightly different this year.
The class I started the course with last year before I had to suspend/defer graduated today. It made me a bit sad, I know I have mental health difficulties and am dealing with the death of my mum but it should've been me graduating today too. Was hard watching them all walking through town with their gowns on, and seeing photos etc on facebook. I know I'm doing better this year, everyone is so proud of how well I'm doing compared to even this time last year but I can't help feeling sad.
