My bad, half a banana (lol) I think I put the word have instead of half. Hopefully today goes well or even better. Dont listen to your head, listen to you body! And if you cant do it again today, dont beat yourself up about it or anything. Yesterday was a big step but you are still getting there :)
Hey guys i'm not round this thread much (mainly because i feel a little hypocritical at the moment with behaviours and faith, but thats another story) but i do come on here most days to see how you're all doing... just one thing though, can we not mention amounts eaten or anything? I know you don;t mean it in a bad or triggering way but hearing that someone ate x amount can be really triggering, especially if its a small amount - it can lead to unhealthy competition and people aiming for that too... also i'm pretty sure its against RYL rules... so yeah, don't take this the wrong way, i'm not having a go or anything, but i know i myself find it triggering.
I'm so sorry Susie! It was meant to be a good report because I need to eat more. Not to create competition. I certainly never meant to trigger anyone! Again, I'm so sorry! It won't happen again!
Hey Susie! You can post here anytime, most of us are struggling with something. *offers hug*
Yeah, amounts of food eaten is prohibited unless its a one time celebration type thing- hide boxes with ed label for anything ed related, just to be safe, would help all of us to not trigger people.
And Solo, we know you didnt mean to trigger anyone. Been prayin for you. :)
*leaves hugs for everyone*
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
Had this verse on my heart... I hope it is an encouragement to you all... ' God brought my life back from the death & I will continue to enjoy life' Job 33v28 NCV
That's a great verse :) I love it... thanks for posting it
"God take me, because I hate me" -Underoath
We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, and students. We have depression, PTSD, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, or maybe no diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some not. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every race or religion that you can think of. Our common link is this: We are in pain. We self-injure. And we are not freaks.
I grew up with my closest of friends all of us Christian and only about three years ago I left the church all together....I was badly let down by some of the people I called by best friends....my family I would say....they meant the world to me. I still carry these wounds and I havent recovered as a person yet I find it hard to fit in anywhere else in my life now I have lost this place - those broken friendships cannot be repaired in my eyes....and the further I have gone from this so it seems the further I have felt from God. I'm at a point now where I am just so disillusioned with how I was treated and frozen out that I resent the whole church and everyone in it that I was part of...and I was a real big part of it....not one of them has called to see how I'm doing or emailed or pm'd me on facebook etc etc....nothing. I lost my best friend in all the world (or so I thought he was anyway...the person I trusted and loved most) and had my character severely compromised...people said things about me that weren't true and no one gave me my time to say my side of it...I lost my friends and I lost my church which was my home. I did SH when I was younger and got ths under control when I was really in the height of my 'good days' at church and with my Christian friends....but after this fell apart my self harming went through the roof and I did a lot of things that were massively out of my character....almost to prove a point I think....and I felt i had to engage in other behaviours...risk taking behaviours in order to fit in to a new way of life because I had lost the life I knew so well....I became severely depressed....suffered debilitating panic attacks and SH'd constantly....my pastor met with me on a few occasions and encouraged me to seek counselling but I received not further friendship or support after this. I was out of the fold so to speak. everything I knew and loved was taken from me in an instant and it wasn't my fault and still to this day I cant prove that. A few certain people just ruined my life and I cant go back. So right now....me and God....I don't know....I believe yeah....but I'm just not interested.....and nothing fulfills me really. so I dont know what I'm supposed to do.
Just wanted to share...sorry for the rant :s to me self harming never fitted in with being Christian. maybe I've just been stung by bad experiences and I'll find my way back someday to a place I feel at peace with God. I did like my life before I was happy most of the time and I felt I lived a good and happy life....I just don't know how to get it back and I miss it.
I'm sorry you went through all those things with your church. :( It always hurts when the people who are suppossed to love you through it all do stuff like that. As for self-harming fitting in with being Christian...theres two ways to look at that. One, it doesnt. SI is contrary to God's word and can be addictive, and any addiction is a sin. On the other hand, we are people too; being a Christian doesn't mean we are never going to face hard times or mess up. We're not immune to any type of sin. I've been to a place where I believed and didn't care- thats when I started SI'ing. Praise God, I came back eventually. Something just...snapped in me. I decided I'd had enough trying to live without Him, enough SI, enough...darkness. Idk how to describe it. I've slipped up a few times since then with the SI though. Guess its all a part of recovery.
*offers hug*
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
I'm sorry you were so badly treated Whynot smile. Spiritual abuse is an awful thing and very difficult to overcome. Yes, it does sound like spiritual abuse to me.
As for bad behaviours not mixing with Christianity, we're still human and prone to sinning, so being SI does not exclude you from God's love or from being a part of His family.
You are still a child of God. You have not lost that though it might have felt like it when brothers and sisters abandoned you :(
Do you like Christian contemporary music? Maybe you could start reconnecting with God by listening to some music which reminds you of how much He loves you. Or by reading Scripture or being out in Nature.
