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Old 29-04-2009, 09:09 AM   #1
Auburn Shadow
 
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Mildly Triggering (ED) - Scaring myself somewhat...

Ok, it’s taken me god knows how many attempts to actually write this, and get up the courage to post it, because I don’t want to have to admit this. I’ve been doing well recently with regards to my recovery from SH, and I thought (maybe wrongly, but still) that I was getting better mentally, but recently, well, I’ve started purging again.
It just sort of came out of nowhere, the urge to purge, and before I even thought about it that first time, I was there doing it. And that’s pretty much how it’s happened ever since. I don’t know why I got that urge to do it, and I don’t know why I followed up on it, but now, well, I don’t know if I can stop. Don’t quite know what it is I’m looking for with this post or anything, and I think my fiance just found out about the whole thing, which actually scares the hell out of me more than the fact that I’m doing this, because well, he has certain opinions on things like this, and they really won’t be helpful to much of anything. I guess the whole thing just scares me somewhat.

Not sure about the trigger label, if I got the wrong one, tell me and I'll change it.



~Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly~


***get better soon baby, I need you***


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Old 29-04-2009, 10:07 AM   #2
HopeRises
 
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Are you under stress at the moment? or going through a difficult time that could have triggered the urges off?

You need to try and fight the urges to purge cause it's dangerous.

Stay Safe and Take Care and Well done for writting this and posting it!

Love Leighxxx



Life can be beautiful if you let it.
Step back, breathe and take it in




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Old 29-04-2009, 10:14 AM   #3
Auburn Shadow
 
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I guess I have been more stressed recently, been falling out with a lot of people because of them trying to mess with my relationship and all that, but somehow I'd managed to convince myself I was dealing with it, I guess that could have sparked something off? I also had an upset stomach type thing as well, and I guess I used that as an excuse to try and justify the whole thing.
I've sort of managed to control it somewhat, and managed not to give in to those urges yesterday, but I don't know how much of that was because there were visitors round.



~Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly~


***get better soon baby, I need you***


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Old 01-05-2009, 05:45 PM   #4
Pomegranate
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Thinking of you Hanna. You have been doing really well (from what I gather) recovering from SI. I don't think it is unusual to switch between self damaging behaviours. Do you think you are replacing the self harm with the purging? Well done on not giving into the urges yesterday, regardless of the reasons it can't have been easy for you. You are beautiful, you don't need to change the way you look at all. You know where I am if talking would help *lots of hugs* xxx





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