being abused by family

applecupcakes · 11-05-2015, 11:22 PM

I recently graduated from University and have been extremely stressed in finding another job. I don't have parents ( both deceased) and i have very little money with no support from my family. My Aunt was given a portion of money from my Grandma to give to us if we needed it but told me that she can take it away from us and that i will receive it when i retire. I currently live at another family members house where i barely scrape by and feel like I'm trapped. I have to do everything for them while they stay at the house and they tell my Grandma I'm lazy, poor and useless. I tried telling my Grandma about the abuse and she tells me her kids are wonderful and they've done so much for me. I recently received a job and my Aunt found out about it. From the previous jobs I've had she's called my employeers asking if i really worked there or that she needed to contact me immediately because of an emergency. Recently, she called my manager asking if i worked there and how much i was being paid and what my job title was. I was told it was very unprofessional by my manager and that it was best that i find another place to work at. I don't know what to do and am just very depressed and need someone to talk too.

Isoverity · 12-05-2015, 03:55 AM

Your aunt sounds very wicked. Some kind of authority/expert (a lawyer etc) should probably be consulted.

applecupcakes · 13-05-2015, 03:10 AM

Ive had multiple friends tell me the same thing but with having little money I don't think anyone would take my case. I asked a friend who attended law school and told me since my Grandma gave her the money for us and it's sitting in her checking account we don't have proof that it's our money or even how much there is. My Grandma gave an estimate but she isn't in the right state of mind to think her kids are mistreating us. I'm not sure if it's denial or she just doesn't care.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Isoverity

Your aunt sounds very wicked. Some kind of authority/expert (a lawyer etc) should probably be consulted.

Pi.R^2 · 15-05-2015, 08:43 AM

I don't think managers can tell you to work somewhere else because of something your family member did. Can you seek advice from a trade union/similar organisation about that?

It sounds like your family create a really negative environment for you- is moving away an option? Even if that means going on benefits of some sort for a while, it could be good to get a fresh start.

Sorry to hear you're in such a difficult situation and I hope that you can find a way out of it.

Amaryllis · 15-05-2015, 01:52 PM

There are often times a group of free lawyers who will work with low income people.

Also, can you not tell your aunt where you have gotten a job next time? I've had to do that before with my own parents because they kept getting me fired. I know that sounds like being overly paranoid, but seriously. Do not give them information. Do not give anyone who might give that information to your aunt until you make it out of that house (and potentially out of that city).

Record and document everything she has done that affects you negatively. It will help you feel less crazy and it might come in handy later. If you have to, document even that you dusted for 20 minutes and spent this long calling people about jobs and this long doing something else.

Charmed · 17-05-2015, 12:38 PM

I agree with Jenna, I'm not sure that your work are allowed to ask you to leave, considering it isn't because you have done anything wrong. Have you managed to talk to anyone about this at all?

Are there any members of your family which are positive for you? Perhaps you could try speaking to them and ask them to speak to the rest of your family for you. It sounds like things are quite difficult at the moment.

Do you have any other support from your friends etc.?

The Queen of Peace · 17-05-2015, 07:42 PM

I am going to echo the others and ask, is an employer able to fire you based on something your aunt did? It wasn't you being unprofessional.

I wonder if moving away is an option for you. Could you seek help from the council for housing? Or is there a friend you could flat share with if you could find a job/steady income?

I'm sorry to hear your family treat you so poorly. I hope you can sort something out - nobody deserves to be surrounded by such toxic people.

You are not lazy or useless. You are a human who deserves to be treated like one. Hugs.