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Old 24-03-2012, 07:24 PM   #23221
offlineforever
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Hey everyone,

sorry to randonly just jump in without really reading anything but could really use some advice if anyone is able to give it.

How do you deal with paronoia? I've convinced myself that everyone I know hates me and it is completley freaking me out.



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Old 24-03-2012, 07:34 PM   #23222
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*Hugs Katy*

Paranoia is horrible and I often experience the same, thinking that everybody hates me. I'm not really sure what to suggest as I struggle with it myself. I guess to try and recognise that there is no reason for everybody to hate you. From what I see on RYL, you are an absolutely adorable person and very lovely and I certainly don't hate you.

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Old 24-03-2012, 08:19 PM   #23223
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*Jumps on Group* I have the internet here at my folks and Hope tomorrow night will be the first night in my new home.... :D



I'm still not comfortable in my skin and the anasthetic's slowly wearing thin - Otep
Everyones lost but me! - Indiana Jones

It's okay , they know me here .

Kahlia1981 is my adopted little sister :)


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Old 24-03-2012, 08:37 PM   #23224
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Thank you so much for that advice. I know the feeling will pass eventually, but I've not felt it this strongly for ages.

Doikers- Good luck tomorrow night! Hope the move goes well!



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Old 24-03-2012, 08:45 PM   #23225
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Mark - that's great! I hope it all goes well & you enjoy :)

Katy - I hope the feeling passes for you very soon. I know it's horrible. We are here for you <3

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Old 24-03-2012, 10:27 PM   #23226
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Am i overreacting?

I bought milk today and was going to keep it until monday to open and use as it was a big bottle, opened the fridge earlier and its been opened. Im actually so angry about it as im skint this week and now its going to go out of date quickly. I didnt want to say anything earlier as my flatmate, her bf and friend where in the kitchen and people are going to be like ohh its just a bit of milk, but its the principal that it was new and sealed and not opened. I actually really want to cry about the milk ha ha.





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Old 24-03-2012, 10:58 PM   #23227
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holly wat u did still hurts but hey just dont expect too much too soon like mari said most people are new please dont do nething like that again....

thanks for ur support still sinking in tbh last netball game tomorrow for the team ive played with cus i hopefully graduate this year rather sad about it :( nearly easter time though even though i will be writing my diss be great to have a change of scenery

thanks claire hope ur ok

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Old 24-03-2012, 11:15 PM   #23228
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Mari, I would personally be annoyed too. I think that if something isn't mine, I wouldn't presume to open it/take it and I would like my belongings to be respected in the same way. I think other people may take a more lenient approach, but I can empathise with you.

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Old 24-03-2012, 11:15 PM   #23229
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reappear View Post
Just thought I'd drop in and say hi, and send my love and hugs. Also, I will put my thinking cap on re: more distractions. The list is very good so far. Maybe once it's done we can phone it through to our local crisis teams so they can be more creative when they suggest to people on the phone to distract themselves!
:) That would be an amazing idea!
When we reach 100, we could all sign it at the end with our names if we would like to, and we could all email it or send it to our local crisis teams and mental health services? :)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dash View Post
When we have created it, we should add where it came from and who it was created by, so even if it's anonymously sent (although I would happily send it with my name), they know eactly where it's origins are.
Awesome idea!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dash View Post
Maybe we could try and send a copy to someone at every PCT.
Excuse my dumbness, whats PCT?

Quote:
Originally Posted by _wendy_ View Post
theres a similar list here on my local self harm group website. some are a bit random though, but what works for one may not work for another

http://www.harmless.org.uk/viewpage.php?page_id=13
Thankyou so much for this, it's very useful too!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bleeding Angel View Post
wow ive missed alot ha ha, hope everyone is good. Will pop in tomrrow when im done for the day!
'lo Mari :) How are you doing?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shine. View Post
Hi, erm, I've not read much of this thread and I know I should have done but to post about this is quite overwhelming for me. The medical professionals say that I have BPD and I am really struggling with that possibility because it's giving me a lot more negative things to throw at myself. Also, it's hard because it's never been mentioned with me before and the person who suggested it has only seen me twice. I can't get DBT because there is no coverage of my area and the waiting lists are too extensive considering I'm in a time frame. I'm just scared of this label, I think.

I know I'm supposed to support people and I do try but I really don't feel in the right place for that right now, I'm sorry.
Welcome to the thread Shine.

I understand that the diagnosis can bring along its own problems, and negativity more so against yourself. Try to remember the positives though love. About who you are. You aren't BPD. BPD is just a part of you, the ill part of you, not the wonderful part of you. That's the part that is important and to cling to and remember and to use to keep on fighting.

It's okay to feel unable to offer support, we don't expect people to support others constantly, you are allowed to ask for support too. We all have those times where we really need that support ourselves, and can't offer support to others. In time though, you may be able to offer some support again. When you're able to, when you're feeling a bit better.

Please do keep posting, don't feel banished because you're struggling. We want to be there for you.

I understand the label may be confusing, could you discuss the reasons why you were diagnosed maybe to get some clarification to help you understand more?

Maybe just getting yourself on the list for DBT is better sooner than later, so that you will maybe eventually get DBT, and the quicker you're on the list, the better, in the meantime, ask for other options for support/help.

Sending lots of love and hugs sweetpea.

Quote:
Originally Posted by reappear View Post
The following content has been hidden - Reason : The BPD distraction list:)




The BPD thread distraction list

1. Watch TV/DVDs/programmes/etc - I love doing this, it helps me to distract myself from everything and just focus on what I'm watching :) I tend to get obsessed ;p

2. Play music really loud & sing/scream - this is really good, too, 'cause screaming the lyrics and just listening and focusing on a song helps tons!

3. Have a cup of tea - can be very soothing, and it's tasty, and warm :)

4. Read a book - it can be very helpful to read books when you're having a hard time, it can be anything, a magazine even too! Just something to focus on and enjoy / be interested in. :)

5. Text/call someone - I do this muchly!

6. Have a bath with favourite bubble bath/scent etc and candle lit.

7. Go for a walk and admire small things that are beautiful but often go unnoticed.

8. If you have a pet, have a cuddle with them or take care of them.

9. Make a collage using pictures from the internet/magazines etc to display how you are feeling.

10. Make a collage/poster on recovery and your goals/aims/dreams etc.

11. Play a game, such as an App on your phone or on the computer. This can help bring your focus away from whatever is going on.

12. Use some non toxic paints and paint pretty patterns on your body/hands.

13. Sing - apparently it's impossible to think and sing at the same time. (Now you'll try that out!)

14. Do a puzzle.

15. Play an instrument or if you can't play an instrument, consider learning to play an instrument.

16. If you like writing, decide on a random title yourself or use a story generator to start off a fictional story.

17. Go on comedy websites (such as Today's Big Fail http://www.todaysbigfail.com/view/20120318 )

18. Find your favourite film and snuggle under a duvet with your favourite film.

19. Reach out to someone and offer them some help.

20. Do a Random Act of Kindness for someone, anyone, that happens to be around. Alternatively, 'pass on' an act of kindness that someone has done to you.

21. Bake fairy cakes and ice them (or bake anything!).

22. Get a huge piece of paper/stick loads of bits together and just throw paint at it, Jackson Pollock style.

23. Take photographs of random things in your flat/house/room, or go for a photo walk.

24. Make a glitter jar/cake in a jar/positive affirmations in a jar.

25. Go on YouTube and watch old people's reactions to Dubstep.

26. Make a 'wellbeing toolbox' - get a shoebox or a bag, decorate it and fill it with things you can turn to when you're feeling overwhelmed, like favourite music, letters you've received from people, little toys/bubbles, sweets etc.

27. Do some gardening, or make an indoor pot of flowers to take care of.

28. Jewellery making...you can buy lovely but cheap beads on ebay

29. Puzzle books..word search, crosswords etc

30. Colouring, you can get cheap books with intricate designs which are totally absorbing

31. Cleaning and tidying...not nice to do, but a sense of achievement when done

32. Paint your nails - you won't be able to use your hands to harm yourself with for a little bit.

33. Be daring - work on your anxieties by facing them and book yourself into a course/activity you've always wanted to try. Take a friend or family member if you can and feel it would help. It will help you expand your interests and even maybe your social circle.

34. Do some exercise... buy a skipping rope or a dance DVD and get going. Exercise releases endorphines, the same chemical that is understood to be released when you self harm.

35. Teach yourself Mindfulness.

36. Organize things. I love things being organized, gives me a sense of control/calm, and distracts me! :)

37. Do a makeover on yourself, or explore different hairstyles, or makeup, clothes, etc!

38. Take pictures outside of flowers you see, or anything really on the ground, make it photogenic :)

39. Make lists. Lists of anything at all!

40. Cuddle your fav teddy bear, feel the texture, focus on it, focus on your breathing, try and relax.

41. Do something silly once a day! Scare someone, make something silly like finger painting, make up your own joke, make a mask, a painting, a portrait of something funny, etc.

42. Make bracelets/necklaces for friends :)


Incase people have forgotten, here's the list if you don't wanna keep going back pages for it! :) I'll attatch it every now and then so it's updated and regularly posted so people can see it without having to go looking for it pages back!

Plus people may have a spark of ideas on adding more to it :)

I've added a few more myself(in bold).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hollz View Post
Hi there, everyone.

Look, I'll make this point short, sweet and kinda to the point.

I love this thread and for the last couple of years, I've been subscribed and every day I get an email of all the posts and I read them.

I feel part of this thread even though I am not posting, those I haven't spoken to before, I feel I know. I may not have spoken to you directly but through reading your posts every day, I can grasp persay how things are going.

I don't want people to think I am stalking the thread, which is why I am posting now. If you don't know me then whilst that may be great for me, I aint going to cast any illusions. I have BPD like everyone who posts on this thread. I've told some horrific lies in the past. Lies that were brought to the frontline on this thread. Lies that probably destroyed the integrity of this thread for many months. It has taken a long time for the BPD thread to get back on it's feet. I am proud that it has. Everyone who posts on here, I can relate to.

This thread aint about me though and although I said it at the time and I was messed up in the head, will say it again. I am truly sorry for the comments I made on this thread a few years ago. There is no excuse for it and I served my suspension on this time in good faith. After that time, I was too ashamed to post on here.

After talking to several people who frequent this thread, I was told that it would be okay too post again. Several people I know never forgave me at the time and here I send direct apologies to Rowie, Cheyl and to Dani.

I offended others and others forgave in time. I talk frequently to Mari and Lotti on social media websites and have asked in the past if they would object to me coming on here, answer no. Time has past, let bygones be bygones. To Carrie, well she is my best friend in the whole wild world. I saw her respost on here, change name etc and tbh I felt like a stalker.

I was reading this thread every day for the past few years, I may have not have posted as I felt I had lost that right. I feel now that I deserve another chance, and anyone who posts here who I have spoken to agrees. As for Carri folks, she is doing great, just great and whilst atm she isn't posting then she is thinking of you guys.

I want to contribute on this thread. I have said some here and I add my sincere apologies for lies I told in the past. I was ill but you know what, there is no excuse for the stuff I said. I hope that people can forgive me, if not than they can live with the fact I am here, have changed and just want to help others with Bpd.

I respect the opinion of anyone on here though. Mari started this thread many years ago now, she is a good friend of mine and has forgiven me but I don't expect that from everyone. I want to go from someone who reads this thread every day, to someone who contributes.

I will only do that though if people are happy for me to do so. I reallty hurt people who post in this thread a few years ago in a big way. I am not asking for you to accept or love me, but just to perhaps tolerate me contributing to this thread.

If their are any serious objections then I will walk away, but a lot of my close friend post here, either frequently or from time to time and I would like to contibute. Any problem with that then I will accept, has taken me long enough to post and I want to post here yeah, but if it causes anyone any discomfort then I will refrain.

Again, for everything I said in the past, I sincerely apologise.

Wish everyone the best and if no objection, will post on here on a regular basis.

Take care,

Holly.
Hi there Holly.

I have no right to judge you, or anyone really, what's done is done, you're welcome to post here, it seems people are okay with that idea, so do post, try to remember that past is past, if you have changed, then that's really good, and I applaud you for being brave and reaching out like this, and for changing yourself. It's a good step.

Just be aware that people are still obviously hurting from your actions, so it may take some time, but it does seem people are okay with you being here again. I certainly don't mind, but just be aware and sensitive to how others must be feeling, you know?

Welcome back to the thread.

How are you doing today?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doctor Colbertface View Post
Hey everyone,

sorry to randonly just jump in without really reading anything but could really use some advice if anyone is able to give it.

How do you deal with paronoia? I've convinced myself that everyone I know hates me and it is completley freaking me out.
Hey there,

Paranoia is a hard one. Honestly, you just really have to try and reassure yourself with it. It can be hard to ride out, but it eventually will ease up and calm down. You just have to try and be reassuring with yourself, be logical with yourself, and also, be gentle with yourself. It can be difficult during those times, and we feel vulnerable, fragile, so be gentle with yourself, be comforting towards yourself, take care of you.

Maybe ask others for reassurance too? It may help fight back the paranoia and kinda "show it!" Show it's wrong, y'no?

Bit useless but yeah! Keep fighting xxxx
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bleeding Angel View Post
Am i overreacting?

I bought milk today and was going to keep it until monday to open and use as it was a big bottle, opened the fridge earlier and its been opened. Im actually so angry about it as im skint this week and now its going to go out of date quickly. I didnt want to say anything earlier as my flatmate, her bf and friend where in the kitchen and people are going to be like ohh its just a bit of milk, but its the principal that it was new and sealed and not opened. I actually really want to cry about the milk ha ha.
Heh, a bit overreacting but for good reason I think. It is the principle that yno, it was new, you brought it, and now its opened it's going to go out of date quicker and that would piss me off a bit too!

Try to calm yourself down though, you can get another bottle of milk and this time tell others that it's yours and not to be opened and if they want to open it, to at least ask you first.

Would that help maybe?

(useless again!)


How are we all doing today?

Sorry I've not been around, come down with a really bad cold/flu or something and it's taking its toll on me & since I already have medical illnesses, its not really helping lol, still is here, kicking me down, been bedbound past week, but its gradually easing up, just gotta rest lots I guess!

Currently awaiting on ECG results because I've been having some serious heart problems past few weeks(worse than usual), and have more bloods next week, so hopefully something will be able to be done about it and hopefully find some damn answers!

Mentally I've been struggling, however, I haven't self harmed in a month or so! I'm pissed at myself and desperate as hell, crawling out of my skin, to self harm again, but so far, taking it day by day, minute by minute on some days, so yeah!
Anyway!

I'm watching Gilmore Girls while I wait for my criminal minds dvds! *impatient!*

My distractions are my obsessions, heh.

Lots of love and cuddles to those who want / need it.

Peace out.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


Last edited by Cryptic. : 24-03-2012 at 11:29 PM.


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Old 24-03-2012, 11:38 PM   #23230
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Holly what you did previously has no effect on me as I am new to the thread so don't mind if you post here

Youonlylive once good luck for the game tomorrow

Mark good luck for the move

Katy I agree with the others advice. Logically if people hated you they wouldn't talk to you. Hope this feeling passes soon for you

Lorraine hope you feel better soon

How is everyone else?



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Old 25-03-2012, 01:14 AM   #23231
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Hope everyone has had a good day. Appreciate all comments made and respect everyones individual response and take everything said on board.

Mari - Hope you manage to get it sorted with your flatmate tomoz. Just take her aside and be straight with her. Can understand why it is getting to you so much. you have every right to be frustrated. Let me know how it goes with her tomoz.

Cheryl - best of luck with your netball match



Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys


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Old 25-03-2012, 01:51 AM   #23232
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Thanks everyone, sadly the paronoia has increased a bit more, but I know what triggered it so I'm hoping it will pass soon.

I saw my ex best friends husband today and it triggered a lot of memories of the friendship and how it was ruined and all that stuff.



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Old 25-03-2012, 02:04 AM   #23233
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This thread's so busy!
Sarah (?), thank you for your response. I have been potentially diagnosed with BPD because my emotions are very much unregulated and I self-harm. The guy who wants me diagnosed said that he has to make a diagnosis and it's the one I best fit, with the emotion thing and based on my behaviours. I am still really scared of the diagnosis though. I don't think my doctor wants to give it to me.

Also, well done on the month free!

Katy, love, we all think you're wonderful and awesome. I wouldn't have invited you to mine next week if I didn't think those things about you! I'm so glad that you're coming and I hope that it's a fun fun fun weekend and you enjoy yourself! :) I'm glad that you know what's triggered your paranoia and I do hope that it passes soon. At least you know it's paranoia, even if you believe it to be true. Hold onto that knowledge.



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Old 25-03-2012, 02:10 AM   #23234
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shine. View Post
Katy, love, we all think you're wonderful and awesome. I wouldn't have invited you to mine next week if I didn't think those things about you! I'm so glad that you're coming and I hope that it's a fun fun fun weekend and you enjoy yourself! :) I'm glad that you know what's triggered your paranoia and I do hope that it passes soon. At least you know it's paranoia, even if you believe it to be true. Hold onto that knowledge.
This is actually all that I am currently holding onto right now. Been arguing with my mum a lot recently too which doesnt help matters



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Old 25-03-2012, 02:12 AM   #23235
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I don't regularly post here but I have been a member of this thread for several years and read it almost everyday. I remember the incident all too well, not so much because I was personally involved in supporting you or anything but because I watched the crash that followed and the reaction from people O do care about. I agree with a lot of what Dash and ferretmonster have said. I also dot like the way some of your first message 'back' was written. Even though I was not involved your actions just confirmed a lot of suspicion and trust issues I was already having with people, furthermore it is the kind of horrific lies and manipulation you showed that just encourage the negative stereotypes and treatment of people with BPD. Having lost a parental figure i also was almost insulted that you could trivilise that pain by lying about it and manipulating to get attention! Post all you like, everyone has a right to post and when I reply then I will be civil but like Dash said... Trust has to be earned and regaining it when you have lost it is even more difficult. It will be a long time, if ever before I believe a word you say. I am glad you report things are improving for you though and I hope that continues. I accept and understand people act in characteristically when I'll but that does not excuse everything. I don't post much here anymore, like I said because the thread is not how it once was so I do not have as much right as more long term regular posters and I accept that but I still wanted to make my feelings known.

*leaves hugs and love for everyone who needs them*





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Old 25-03-2012, 02:13 AM   #23236
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doctor Colbertface View Post
This is actually all that I am currently holding onto right now. Been arguing with my mum a lot recently too which doesnt help matters
I did see your other thread about her comments, actually, and can understand why things are strained between you both. Try not to let it get to you, though! I shall see you in a week's time! Woo! Is there anything that you can do to help the situation?
*hugs and love and glitter*



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Old 25-03-2012, 02:16 AM   #23237
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Entertain me next weekend basically Belle! I'll be alright until then. I'm just trying to deal with the paranoia right now... which sleep might help with!



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Old 25-03-2012, 02:19 AM   #23238
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Yes, sleep may help with that! I think we should both have a go at getting some because otherwise we could be zombies tomorrow and that would be tragic... amusing but tragic. You shall be entertained next weekend, I shall make sure of it! :D



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Old 25-03-2012, 08:19 AM   #23239
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bleeding Angel View Post
If im honest i hate that kind of attitude from people, i dont see what the point of getting help its if your not going to be honest and get the help in the first place. Whats the point asking for meds if you are only wanting them to overdose on?
Gee thanks, i asked her about meds because i keep going up and down, its in the down places where i wanna od so yes its a risk ( its always been a risk) but at the same time meds can reduce the desire too.I am sick of ending up in hospital on and IV line because ive overdosed, im sick of harming myself and needing to go to A&E, so having meds that help with the depressive patches/ irrational thoughts and impulsive behaviors would actually help me. I have meds to take as required and ive teken them as required in over a year ive not od'd on them.. ive od'd but not on them because i know they actually help when i remember too and am able to take them.



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CONTINUING MY LIFE
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Old 25-03-2012, 08:58 AM   #23240
crazykat
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*leaves cuddles for Katy and everyone else*



"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."


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