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Old 20-03-2009, 03:33 AM   #101
Per Ardua ad Astra
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I haven't looked at this thread in a long while but would like to put it out my opinion.

I'm a FtM transsexual and from the age of around 4 I was telling people I wanted to be a boy, grew up as a tomboy and again around the age of 13 I was convinced I was a boy just in the wrong body. When I was 16 I thought I may have been a lesbian but I still didn't feel right until 2007 when I came out as trans, people who know me on here who have met me will sure enough tell you I have become a happier person being who I am now.
I'm not telling you to jump out of the loop and be this person you feel you may be. I took me several months of adapting to see if this worked to how I felt, this including strapping down my chest, cutting my hair short and picking a male alias and asking for male pronouns to be used when I was this alias.
It's a difficult and slow adaptation to you're life. It's not easy and it's not solved by you shouting it out loud and proud. Another thing is don't think because your family is one thing you can't be. I come from a family where my eldest sister is Male to Female (MtF).

I'm open to private messages if anyone wants advice or support on female to male transgender issues.

Josh.





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Old 20-03-2009, 04:56 PM   #102
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i remember before you came out yusss... although i dont speak to you much anymore, you do seem happier Josh.

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Old 20-03-2009, 11:30 PM   #103
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Per Ardua ad Astra View Post
I haven't looked at this thread in a long while but would like to put it out my opinion.

I'm a FtM transsexual and from the age of around 4 I was telling people I wanted to be a boy, grew up as a tomboy and again around the age of 13 I was convinced I was a boy just in the wrong body. When I was 16 I thought I may have been a lesbian but I still didn't feel right until 2007 when I came out as trans, people who know me on here who have met me will sure enough tell you I have become a happier person being who I am now.
I'm not telling you to jump out of the loop and be this person you feel you may be. I took me several months of adapting to see if this worked to how I felt, this including strapping down my chest, cutting my hair short and picking a male alias and asking for male pronouns to be used when I was this alias.
It's a difficult and slow adaptation to you're life. It's not easy and it's not solved by you shouting it out loud and proud. Another thing is don't think because your family is one thing you can't be. I come from a family where my eldest sister is Male to Female (MtF).

I'm open to private messages if anyone wants advice or support on female to male transgender issues.

Josh.
*squishhug*

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Old 23-03-2009, 07:02 PM   #104
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did you "choose", or did you finally just stop denying it?
stopped denying it



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Old 24-03-2009, 01:15 AM   #105
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id be too nervous to cut my hair short enough to look like a boy but its always appealed to me... idk i thought i had found the right place being straight but theres no way to deny the feelings i have how many ppl think thsat bi is just a stage before you really know what you are? or is anyone an adult thats still bi?



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Old 24-03-2009, 05:51 PM   #106
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there are males/females who swing both ways ..even though they perfer girls or guys...they still feel comfy with the other sex



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Old 25-03-2009, 08:57 PM   #107
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fair enough... yah coz my friend was all i dont beleive in bisexuality as a long term thing i see it as just a stepping stone to being either gay or straight.
and i was just wiondering who else saw it like that



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Old 27-03-2009, 12:08 AM   #108
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I think Bi exists... because I'm thinking now that I AM...

Wow, That's the first time I've ever said that to anyone but the inside of my own head :S

I mean, I've had relationships with guys (not sexual, but intimate) but I've never... desired(?) them in the same way as, I realised I DO with this girl... But lesbian? I really don't think so... or maybe as people are saying I've just been in denial for so long, trying to follow convention by dating guys, when really, all along...?
People used to tease me when I was 12/13 because I had a *very* close relationship with my female best friend, and I DID question then whether I was... but then, I sort of tried to ignore it and block it out, because 'girl crushes' are suposed to be commen around puberty anyway, so I was told?!

Sorry, guys, I'm just trying to sort things out in my own head!! I'm a very confused person right now. I mean I'm 18!! Surely I should have realised by now If I'm...?

But then how am I ever going to know! I'm almost certain this girl isn't lesbian/bi, and even if she was... well.

Sorry, again guys... but typing does help somehow. It's nice to have somewhere to come :)



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Old 28-03-2009, 08:38 PM   #109
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I am Bisexual and I think all it means is you are attracted to people, not genders. I have enjoyed dating both guys and girls.

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Old 29-03-2009, 04:44 AM   #110
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yeah because i dont know the hole physical with guys scares me because its awkward and intrusive but with girls its not that bad idk id stay like this forever if i could but then when ppl tell me im going through phases its like o.O really?



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Old 29-03-2009, 08:26 AM   #111
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i think bisexual exists

i came out as bi when i was 14
i'd had 'boyfriends ' (you know the ones that last a week and are the'love of your life' at that age)
but i knew i liked girls.

however at 16...or just before, it became apparent to me that i was only interested in women, and came out as lesbian. i have sinse only been with women, and was engaged to a woman for 2 years.

however, i do question whearther or not i am actualy bisexual.
as i see guys, and i think 'hes fit' and when i'm drunk...i flirt with men...but i do know that i could never have a relationship with a male, either sexual or physical...the idea just doesnt appeal to me.
however i'm not sure if just being attracted to some males makes me bisexual?
still i keep the tile lesbian...as i know i'm only interested in women for relationships etc, though i'm not closed to the possibility i might one day meet a guy i like.

though i have to admit...i struggle to see how hetro relationships work, i just dont understand how two people of the opposite sex can connect in the same way as those in a homosexual relationship...dont know if thats just me?

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Old 29-03-2009, 08:45 AM   #112
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The best thing is to go with the flow, labels for yourself are only of any use if you know that hey describe you. For years I went through a process of labelling and re-labelling myself until, socially, I'd taken on so many identities that everyone around me was left thinking "how do you actually define yourself?" So yeah, with anything like this all you van really do is rely on introspection, and honesty with yourself. Sometimes you van become s wrapped up over what to call yourself that you loose the point of the whole exercise; that is, to work out who you are. In any case, everything becomes apparent with time, and it is generally easier if you go "hmm, ok I might not be straight, but I can't be ****ed with defining myself" since that way you don't grab the first label that presents itself, instead you end up taking on the one which feels most natural.

Besides, once you've worked it out for yourself, it is a nice feeling and it isn't up to anyone besides you to state how you identify. Generally, sexuality is something which it is best not to think about too much since if anything, that can lead you away from what is actually going on.



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Old 30-03-2009, 05:52 PM   #113
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Thanks, White Noise, that helped a lot :)

I'm feeling a lot less worried and confused than I did a few days ago!!



Kits (tatty kitty) is my Evanescence loving sis!

I've woken now to find myself
In the shadows of all I have created...
Won't you take me away from me

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Old 04-04-2009, 07:20 AM   #114
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I feel like i could be a lesbian bu the thing is i have been with guys and think they are hot. I could be a bisexal but leatley i feel myself more into girls. I don't really have a lesbian friends and have know one too talk too about this can anyone help me? i just need someone to talk too!



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Old 04-04-2009, 10:31 PM   #115
Megynn
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aw hun i know how you feel i was like that ae. Im bi and it feels comfortable but just becaue your heading more to one side doesnt mean your lesbian or straight. considering Bi means both and if you still like guys but head more towards girls youd still be bi... i think...?



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Old 08-04-2009, 09:43 PM   #116
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aww congratulations Screaming Without Words.

Its great to see your engaged! All the best!!



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Old 12-04-2009, 11:19 AM   #117
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Hi, im new and im well a bit confused about what i am. I would like to think im BI. i mean i can look at women and think wow there really pretty, but i reciently started looking at men as well, and to be honest im a bit scarred. Im 15 and dont know if i feel right.

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Old 12-04-2009, 02:55 PM   #118
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I'm 19 and I am unsure. I don't think I am gay, or bisexual, I think that I just look at other women because I am jealous of their gorgeous bodies when I hate my body shape so much! I don't get turned on or anything by other women, I just think that I like to compare my own bodies to their's. But I don't get turned on by male bodies either (well more so then females but not extremely turned on!).

I am 19, never had a boyfriend or a sexual experience and I feel like a freak!

My best friend recently got a very serious boyfriend and is sexually active with him and I am so jealous, I often wonder if they are having sex right at this moment and I get so jealous and feel really upset because I really want to be loved too. (She also puts him before me which pisses me off especially because I'm going through a very tough time at the moment!)

I really don't want to end up as a 50 year old woman without a husband or kids. I really really really want kids one day! And I'm terrified that I'm not going to get that opportunity because no man will ever love me.

I'm so confused. :(



P.S. Clarke - You're 15, I think most 15 year olds would feel the same way. :) I think it might just take some time. :) No one can tell you if you are bi, straight or gay... So just experiment and take some time. :)

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Old 12-04-2009, 03:09 PM   #119
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Originally Posted by angelvsdevil View Post
I'm 19 and I am unsure. I don't think I am gay, or bisexual, I think that I just look at other women because I am jealous of their gorgeous bodies when I hate my body shape so much! I don't get turned on or anything by other women, I just think that I like to compare my own bodies to their's. But I don't get turned on by male bodies either (well more so then females but not extremely turned on!).

I am 19, never had a boyfriend or a sexual experience and I feel like a freak!

My best friend recently got a very serious boyfriend and is sexually active with him and I am so jealous, I often wonder if they are having sex right at this moment and I get so jealous and feel really upset because I really want to be loved too. (She also puts him before me which pisses me off especially because I'm going through a very tough time at the moment!)

I really don't want to end up as a 50 year old woman without a husband or kids. I really really really want kids one day! And I'm terrified that I'm not going to get that opportunity because no man will ever love me.

I'm so confused. :(



P.S. Clarke - You're 15, I think most 15 year olds would feel the same way. :) I think it might just take some time. :) No one can tell you if you are bi, straight or gay... So just experiment and take some time. :)
umkay babe, thats perfectly normal. I mean, yeah, you may not take anything I'm saying into consideration because i'm 14, but I went through this a few years ago, and still do, but I understand who I am.

Have you ever looked at a girl, and thought she was beautiful, and you could see yourself kissing her or something in that area? If so, then you may be bi-sexual, but if not then you are probably just confused.

The fact that you haven't done anything isn't good for you to be choosing your sexuality just yet, because you don't know how it feels to be with either sex. Some people have sex with their own gender and know they are gay, and then some have sex with the opposite gender and then have sex with the same gender and know they are gay.

Really you'll never know until you actually have some experience, but you need more self confidence. I'm positive that someone loves you, as a friend or more than a friend, they still love you. You won't be 50 and without a mate or kindling. You just need to trust that one day, with the right signals you'll find that someone that just makes you swoon. :]

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Old 12-04-2009, 03:20 PM   #120
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See I could NEVER imagine myself having sex with another girl... It just doesn't seem 'natural' to me or 'right' for me. I'm not saying it's unnatural, just for me it's unnatural, if that makes sense? So because I can never imagine myself having sex with another female then does that make me straight? I couldn't imagine myself kissing another female either. I can imagine both of those things with males, but *shrugs*, just don't expect it to happen any time soon.

I've never really had a great female role model in my life (well I have my mother but she has been depressed most of my life and has 'babied' me greatly), I've always wanted a big sister to look up to and I have a few older friends now (i.e. in their late 20s) and I really admire them and not in a sexual way but I love them a lot (and crave their attention :|)... But it's just really annoying me how jealous I am of my best friend. I want to be happy for her but I just can't, I think because I'm jealous that she has a boyfriend and I don't and she can have sex with someone and I can't. I think also because she really doesn't pay much attention ot me at all when he is around. I have texted her a few times lately and she hasn't bothered to reply and these texts have been pretty desperate (i.e. I really need help NOW) but normally if she's not with him then she'll answer straight away and ring me or something. I don't know, I think I'm just really confused at the moment. I want to be loved. :(

I also went to an all-girl's school so I've never really had 'guy friends' either so I think that I am a bit behind in that sense.

I definitely do need more self confidence lol.

Thanks for the reply. :)

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