A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
I'm just too nervous to go back :/ my Mum isn't really open to the whole idea of mental health disorders either.
She read an article of how N-Dubz Tulisa's Mum has schizoaffective disorder, and she said "I think we're all a little crazy". I said "Mum she isn't a "little crazy", she has schizoaffective disorder, it's not some kind of quirk". But she doesn't get it. When I was diagnosed with BPD she sent a text to my cousin saying that the symptoms were just what most teenagers experience ):
The way to put it, is that I'm just feeling really unstable, emotionally. I've never learnt to handle emotions (I don't know why) but it's just getting out of hand now.
I can see how the explanation from your mum re teenage emotions could be frustrating. Do you remeber how you were when you were younger as this is what I always have thrown in my face as I was like this before "hormones" etc could be said to be influencing me.
I'm not sure what leaflet info etc there is out there, perhaps Mind etc have leaflets, maybe even your professionals have some info to help your mum understand you.
I remember being out of control in terms of intensity of emotions from a young age, you aren't alone hun.
xxx
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
When I was younger... My therapist said it sounded like I was suffering from childhood depression.
I was made to feel like an outsider, constantly at school. I can't remember a lot... I was SA'd by my cousin, so that didn't help. Most of the time I was made to feel inferior, by nearly everyone, so now whenever I think of myself with my friends I think of myself as a child.
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
I don't think it was CAHMS... I went to the Bloomsfield Clinic at Guy's hospital, not sure if that is or isn't CAHMS.
She tried me with CBT first, which didn't really work. She had me fill out an anxiety assessment, but I never knew what became of that. And she was going to try DBT, but then the psychiatrist thought he knew best and was like "I think you can recover on your own".
CAMHS is for young people and they will have different procedures in place
I'm asking b/c I have been turned down for therapy in the past and now finally being offered different types - either 1 psychoanalytical a weekplus CAT therapy or 2 psychoanalytical a week. I have been considered too much a risk to be allowed individual therapy. How did long did you have it and did it help at all?
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
Well I told her that I didn't think the CBT was working, so she was going to try DBT.
But then the psychiatrist said he thought I was going to be okay on my own, it was a spontaneous decision for me to be discharged. The thought hadn't crossed mine or my therapists mind.
I know why I can't go back. He said, I hope I don't see you again. So that's that, I can't go back.
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
I'm too scared to go back.
I'm going to seem like such a weakling that a) I went back so soon after and b) that he said he hoped to never see me again.
WHY AM I SO ERRATIC??
I'm now wishing that my suicide attempt last year had succeeded. I don't understand how one week I can eat normally and the next have an incredibly restrictive diet, and sometimes even purge. I don't know how I can think that I'm really ugly and fat, but then say stuff like "oh don't you wish you looked like me" or something stupid like that.
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
I haven't been diagnosed with an ED, as far as I'm concerned I don't have one. I know my eating habits aren't normal, but I don't think they go so far as to be classed as an ED.
so...i don't have car, and my phone just crapped out on me. and i have no financial choice but to go without meds. i'm going to wean myself off of them, but i'm still afraid of what's going to happen.
Sorry to butt in but Kat, you're only 17? You act so mature I thought you were at least 18/19 lol. Anyway I'm sorry you are having a bad night. **hugs** I can only reiterate what others have said.
As for me - my dad is arranging house viewings so will be exciting to see the new places. Then we can work on getting the puppies. Will be getting the lab first then I think in a few months we are getting a german shepherd.
"John, being brave is going where no man has gone before and with Lizzy Stark, that is NOT what you'll be doing!" - Aunt Polly.
“I told him I was going to betray you, and betray Lyra, and he believed me because I was corrupt and full of wickedness; he looked so deep I felt sure he'd see the truth. But I lied too well. I was lying with every nerve and fiber and everything I'd ever done...I wanted him to find no good in me, and he didn't. There is none.”