So I have been depressed for about three months now so I figure I have a mood disorder for depression. Sometimes I cut myself and of course I always hate myself. But sometimes when my thoughts are really ugly against myself, I feel this pain--not emotional, but physical-- inside of me. Mostly its in my chest and fingers. Its really hard to describe too but think of what it would feel like to be crushed under thousands of pounds of water, but have that pressure inside of you pushing outward, again usually in my chest and fingers. And the uglier the thought, the more it hurts. Is this normal? Does anybody know what this is?
No, I haven't. My family doesn't know that anything is wrong with me and I don't want to tell them either. And anyways, I really don't like the idea of taking medicine for depression. Not that I have anything against taking medicine, I just don't want to.
I get this, like a really tight crushing chest/stomach ache. I get it when I feel really down a lot, it physically hurts. I think its called psychosomatic pain.
Maybe you should tell your family. I tried to kill myself recently and before this my mother knew nothing at all and i didnt tell her because i thought she would shout and get angry. The police rang her and she rushed down to see me in ICU and has been supportive ever since, i never thought this would ever happen like this so maybe telling your family is not a bad idea.
xx
btw,i think venlafaxine has helped me, because i dont feel as bad and havent had these pains for a few weeks. so maybe also meds or see your doctor for some therapy is worth a try
The reason I don't want to take medicine is because I feel like it will somehow change who I am. I don't mind taking medicine if I have a migraine or other more physical pain, but I feel like if it is changing my mood (even to a happier mood) it changes who I am. I know that might sound stupid, but thats why. Also, I'm afraid that if I start taking depression medicine, I'll get so used to it that I won't ever be able to get off of it because if I do I'll become depressed again and I'll never be able to stop taking it.
And thank you for telling me what that pain is called. I had asked some other people but no one had any idea what I was talking about. I'll look into it some more. Oh, and I have told my mom in the past that I was depressed (she doesn't know I am now) but when I have, she always tries to send me to a doctor for meds and a counsellor. And again, I don't like taking medicine so yeah... that's why I stopped telling her. And anyone in the rest of my family wouldn't understand.
I also just feel like saying now other reasons why I feel depressed. Basically, I hate who I am/turned out to be. There is a lot of things when I was younger I swore I would never do like cutting. I also recently gave up on being a Christian, which I have been following God my whole life and have been very involved. That has been a bit of a change... Also, my girlfriend and I did some things together that I regret, and I feel like I took her innocence away. Now she is also depressed. She is a Christian and because of what we did she has not really been following God now so I hate myself for hurting her like that. I could go on and with other things, but those are the basic.
On a happy note, I haven't felt depressed at all today yet, and if I make it all the way through the night, it will be the fourth day I wasn't depressed at all in over three months :)
So I have been depressed for about three months now so I figure I have a mood disorder for depression. Sometimes I cut myself and of course I always hate myself. But sometimes when my thoughts are really ugly against myself, I feel this pain--not emotional, but physical-- inside of me. Mostly its in my chest and fingers. Its really hard to describe too but think of what it would feel like to be crushed under thousands of pounds of water, but have that pressure inside of you pushing outward, again usually in my chest and fingers. And the uglier the thought, the more it hurts. Is this normal? Does anybody know what this is?
I can relate to this so much! I don't know what the pain is, but yes I get that too, like a huge crushing/overwhelming pain in my chest! I hope you figure it out and feel better, cause it really sucks, I wish I had advice, but I feel the same way so at least I can say you are not alone
Well, I'm glad that you saw this thread! Did you read above where Ami posted? She said it could be something called psychosomatic pain. I googled it and if I understand it right, it's a pain caused by your emotions. So there isn't anything physically wrong with your body, but it's still a real pain. You should google psychosomatic pain. But anyway, it sounds pretty accurate seeing how it hurts the most with the worst emotions.
How are you feeling tonight? Even if you're against medication (which a lot of people take for only a short period of time) there are lots of things doctors can do, such as offer talking therapies, which can help ease your symptoms.
take care.
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
I'm feeling okay right now. And I still don't think I am going to go to a doctor. To do that I would have to tell my parents and I already feel enough of an outcast around them as it is.
