Self harm involves doing something to yourself though hun. So him hurting you the way he is, does NOT make it self harm. You are NOT in control of what he's doing, so it's definitely abuse, and he's got no right to do it.... he's the one at fault.
I know talking is hard hun, but surely it's hard carrying on the way you are? If both routes are going to be hard, why not try the route which could ultimately make you a happier, safer person? Until you try talking about things with a professional, you will never know what it's like. It might even be easier than what you think?
How do you think dieing would make things better for you hun?
xxx
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