MissGranger, i understand feeling like that but try and remind yourself that God isnt there to condemn you but instead loves you and wants to set you free. you can go y[to Him when youre struggling and he says he will send his holyspirit to help you.
i have found it invaluable to have a christian mentor i can go to for help and support, is there anyone who could mentor you? feel free to pm me with prayer requests x
Ah Miss Granger. It is true that we need to try to not sin, but a we're human and The Fall happened, which means that we are all sinners. God knows this. Jesus died to take all of our sin away, to bridge the gap that we had created between us on God, so we can have a relationship with him in the here and now. Grace is a wonderful thing. God loves us. We don't deserve it because of our behaviour sometimes, but grace means that we are oved regardless of all of our brokenness. You're faith is something to take heart in, Miss Granger, not to beat yourself up about. <3
“Our defeats are softened and our victories are sweetened because we did it together.” - Toby Ziegler.
I'm all muddled at the moment.
I'm relapsing (ED-wise mainly).
At Life Group last night, we were watching some Alpha Course videos on the Holy Spirit and I was thinking and kind of zoned out and I heard God (I think) saying to me that I'm stuck in my old identity, clinging on to illness and dysfunction; and that I need to move on and into what God has planned for me.
But I'm so very stuck being broken and ill. It's scary to get better. I can't work it out, and nothing ever seems to go right. On the other hand, my ED is really scary and life sucks because I have zero energy or motivation and I'm so lost and alone.
I feel like I'm wearing masks over masks over masks.
There's me with a mask of Mental Illness, then over that is the ED, then another mask that is 'ED but pretending that it's Mental Illness' (because I don't tell people about the ED, I just tell them I'm struggling in other ways) then there's the mask of 'I'm fine' over all of them, which I wear most of the time and pretend to be ok but I'm really not. And behind all the masks is the real me trying to take them off but I can't because they're glued to me face. :'(
ugh... idek why I'm posting :( I hurt so much and I'm fed up of feeling so alone all of the time.
Death is one moment, and life is so many of them.
Don't look forward to the day you stop suffering, because when it comes you'll know you're dead.
~ Tennessee Williams
I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad,
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.
I'm actually a girl. My nickname was given by a friend and stuck ;)
Sending huge hugs fred!
Masks are tricky, we put them on because we want to hide but the problem is then they are what people see and believe so it becomes scarey to taake them off because what if the person underneath isnt loved (at least thats what i worry). But one thing it helps to remember is that God has always seen behind the mask and loved what he sees. Now im not saying masks dont matter cause they certainly do but masks dont have to stay on forever.
Getting better certainly is scarey but i would encourage you to remember life before mental health problems, if you lived before them you most certainly can live after them. Does your life group know whats going on? Would you be comfortable asking them to pray for you? Maybe a chat with your life group leader would help?
As always, im only a message away :)
Sending huge hugs fred!
Masks are tricky, we put them on because we want to hide but the problem is then they are what people see and believe so it becomes scarey to taake them off because what if the person underneath isnt loved (at least thats what i worry). But one thing it helps to remember is that God has always seen behind the mask and loved what he sees. Now im not saying masks dont matter cause they certainly do but masks dont have to stay on forever.
Getting better certainly is scarey but i would encourage you to remember life before mental health problems, if you lived before them you most certainly can live after them. Does your life group know whats going on? Would you be comfortable asking them to pray for you? Maybe a chat with your life group leader would help?
As always, im only a message away :)
Thanks xx
I know that God loves me (even the 'real' me) but I don't even know what that 'me' is any more. I've hidden behind so many masks for so long, I've lost myself.
Death is one moment, and life is so many of them.
Don't look forward to the day you stop suffering, because when it comes you'll know you're dead.
~ Tennessee Williams
I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad,
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.
I'm actually a girl. My nickname was given by a friend and stuck ;)
Sending huge hugs fred!
Masks are tricky, we put them on because we want to hide but the problem is then they are what people see and believe so it becomes scarey to taake them off because what if the person underneath isnt loved (at least thats what i worry). But one thing it helps to remember is that God has always seen behind the mask and loved what he sees. Now im not saying masks dont matter cause they certainly do but masks dont have to stay on forever.
Getting better certainly is scarey but i would encourage you to remember life before mental health problems, if you lived before them you most certainly can live after them. Does your life group know whats going on? Would you be comfortable asking them to pray for you? Maybe a chat with your life group leader would help?
As always, im only a message away :)
My life group know the mask that's 'ED pretending to be MH' apart from like 2 of them that know about the ED stuff. I don't really like people to pray for me IRL so it's kind of scary to talk about these things to them because they then want to pray for me which makes me too anxious (something I KNOW I need to work on because prayer is so important).
Death is one moment, and life is so many of them.
Don't look forward to the day you stop suffering, because when it comes you'll know you're dead.
~ Tennessee Williams
I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad,
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.
I'm actually a girl. My nickname was given by a friend and stuck ;)
I was saved when I was 12 and started self harming when I was 13. My guilt about disappointing God is what led me to quit 2 years ago. I’ve heard Time and time again that cutting is an addiction and that God is not okay with addictions... I’ve been going through some rough patches lately and like... I know it’s not okay to cut in general, but is it really so bad to God? It’s not hurting anyone but myself... God is probably my number one reason for holding back. So that’s a good thing XD but I’m worried if I do slip it says something about my faith. Can I get close to God with this battle I always seem to be fighting?
I fell in love with you because you loved me when I couldn't love myself
I was saved when I was 12 and started self harming when I was 13. My guilt about disappointing God is what led me to quit 2 years ago. I’ve heard Time and time again that cutting is an addiction and that God is not okay with addictions... I’ve been going through some rough patches lately and like... I know it’s not okay to cut in general, but is it really so bad to God? It’s not hurting anyone but myself... God is probably my number one reason for holding back. So that’s a good thing XD but I’m worried if I do slip it says something about my faith. Can I get close to God with this battle I always seem to be fighting?
Hi Roses!
It's good to meet you :)
The way I look at it is this: God is our Father. He doesn't 'like' us SHing but He still LOVES us just the way we are. My Earthly Father didn't disown me when I told him I was self harming. God doesn't abandon us, ever. He loves us through thick and thin. He IS Love. (1 John 4:8) and Love is patient, kind, forgiving and truthful, it trusts, protects and always perseveres (1Cor 13:4-8). God is LOVE and His definition of Love is so beautiful. I can't imagine a God who embodies such love would disown anyone for hurting inside so much that they have to hurt their body to cope with it.
HOWEVER, that doesn't mean we can give in to the illness and let the SH take over. We should pray and pray and pray "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." (1 Thes 5:16-18). When life gets hard, turn to God who provides abundantly (Psalm 23)(Joel 2:25-32).
When you feel like cutting, turn to God. Remember His promises and rely on Him to provide. If you need to cry, then cry. If you need to feel comforted, read the Bible, if you need to shout and scream, then do that. God would rather you yell at Him than cut yourself.
Even though life sucks sometimes and the devil is trying all the time to undermine your relationship with God, you CAN prevail and you CAN win.
ok. Rant over xxxx <3 please take care
Death is one moment, and life is so many of them.
Don't look forward to the day you stop suffering, because when it comes you'll know you're dead.
~ Tennessee Williams
I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad,
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.
I'm actually a girl. My nickname was given by a friend and stuck ;)
Hi Roses!
It's good to meet you :)
The way I look at it is this: God is our Father. He doesn't 'like' us SHing but He still LOVES us just the way we are. My Earthly Father didn't disown me when I told him I was self harming. God doesn't abandon us, ever. He loves us through thick and thin. He IS Love. (1 John 4:8) and Love is patient, kind, forgiving and truthful, it trusts, protects and always perseveres (1Cor 13:4-8). God is LOVE and His definition of Love is so beautiful. I can't imagine a God who embodies such love would disown anyone for hurting inside so much that they have to hurt their body to cope with it.
HOWEVER, that doesn't mean we can give in to the illness and let the SH take over. We should pray and pray and pray "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." (1 Thes 5:16-18). When life gets hard, turn to God who provides abundantly (Psalm 23)(Joel 2:25-32).
When you feel like cutting, turn to God. Remember His promises and rely on Him to provide. If you need to cry, then cry. If you need to feel comforted, read the Bible, if you need to shout and scream, then do that. God would rather you yell at Him than cut yourself.
Even though life sucks sometimes and the devil is trying all the time to undermine your relationship with God, you CAN prevail and you CAN win.
ok. Rant over xxxx <3 please take care
Thank you for the response! I’ll remember this <3
I fell in love with you because you loved me when I couldn't love myself
Hi Roses!
It's good to meet you :)
The way I look at it is this: God is our Father. He doesn't 'like' us SHing but He still LOVES us just the way we are. My Earthly Father didn't disown me when I told him I was self harming. God doesn't abandon us, ever. He loves us through thick and thin. He IS Love. (1 John 4:8) and Love is patient, kind, forgiving and truthful, it trusts, protects and always perseveres (1Cor 13:4-8). God is LOVE and His definition of Love is so beautiful. I can't imagine a God who embodies such love would disown anyone for hurting inside so much that they have to hurt their body to cope with it.
HOWEVER, that doesn't mean we can give in to the illness and let the SH take over. We should pray and pray and pray "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." (1 Thes 5:16-18). When life gets hard, turn to God who provides abundantly (Psalm 23)(Joel 2:25-32).
When you feel like cutting, turn to God. Remember His promises and rely on Him to provide. If you need to cry, then cry. If you need to feel comforted, read the Bible, if you need to shout and scream, then do that. God would rather you yell at Him than cut yourself.
Even though life sucks sometimes and the devil is trying all the time to undermine your relationship with God, you CAN prevail and you CAN win.
Hello everyone! Just wondering if this thread is still active? I am new-ish to RYL. My name is Beth and I’m a lifelong Roman Catholic who struggles with SI and anxiety. Lately I have also been struggling a lot with my faith, although trying to “come back” to it (if that makes sense).
Hi! Nice to meet you both! It’s a shame that this thread isn’t as active as it once was, but it’s nice to see that some people are still hanging around! :) And no worries, I don’t mind the question at all!
I guess my faith struggles started when I graduated from high school back in 2012. My church had great programs for the youth but not a lot of resources for young adults, and there weren’t many opportunities to get involved unless it was in a position of leadership, which I did not feel ready for. Due to the lack of fellowship or accountability, I would say, I began to drift away. It was not long after this that things started going wrong at home, so I had a lot of anger towards God at the time and began experiencing a lot of doubt.
Now I guess it’s just been so long and I still feel so doubtful, I just don’t know how to get back to that place where my faith seemed so strong.
My advice is, keep praying, go to church and find a friend who can answer difficult questions and support you. It's not like those things will cure you and give you rock hard faith straight away but they will help you go in the right direction. I know going to Mass and Confession keep me going.
Thanks! That’s really good advice!
I do usually attend mass regularly. Confession, however, is a different story. I really should muster up the courage to go because it’s been an awfully long time.
I do feel it would be helpful to have another individual to turn to for guidance or support. Unfortunately I am not very close with anyone in my church community. I have considered contacting someone who works at the parish to see if there is anyone I can talk to or any groups that I can attend.
Just wondering if this thread is still active? I am new-ish to RYL. My name is Beth and I’m a lifelong Roman Catholic who struggles with SI and anxiety. Lately I have also been struggling a lot with my faith, although trying to “come back” to it (if that makes sense).
