To the people who don't/haven't paid rent, have you ever offered your parents it? Have you sat down and openly discussed with them if they want money?
Indeed, I have sat down and spoken with my father when we moved into our house and asked him if he wanted me to pay some sort of rent, and he has said no. I do pitch in a cook, do dishes, clean and buy food.
Well that just depends on your definition of rent then, doesn't it? I simply thought you meant paying a certain amount per week/month in order to stay.
I was trying to be restrained from replying and reiterating my point again but this is a joke, right? The money I pay for my rent absolutely guarantees me quite comfy accommodation and without it, I would not be living with my parents for the past six years. My mother wasn't joking around when she said on my 16th - pay up or out. It wasn't "Oh we won't kick you out but just threaten for a monthly bonus" but "pay your way like the rest of society and if you don't like it, tough, that's life" and to even further counter your point, they specifically used the rent I paid for paying bills and going shopping with. When it came to the till, I knew I was paying and I absolutely knew my money was paying some something.
I mean, Jesus what an ridiculous comment.
So is life and I can almost guarantee that parental rates are cheaper than the price of getting your own flat.
Er, lets see, you have less money to spend on the luxuries you want?! Isn't that obvious! I mean, alright, it's only one outgoing but still reduces your income and potential savings. So when I goto town, I have to consider "Hm do I really want this dvd? Or should I save, or buy this cheaper but not as entertaining alternative? Whereas if I had all my wages, I wouldn't hesitate to buy the expensive dvd. The idea of budgetting is to plan and record what money goes where.
This is where real landlord and parental landlords separate. Try not paying a landlord in real life and see how long you get before your gear is in bags outside with changed locks. I'd take that as a bloody consequence, but because you're still enjoying the comfy rent fees by your parents they'll also be much more forgiving if you forget or can't pay a month's rent. They might nag a bit, but they'll let you stay till they get the money or else what's the point of keeping a lodger who doesn't pay?
What do you think happens when you get a flat on your own? Your parents will come round with weekly shopping?! Yeah paying for food sucks and often you start realizing how much everything costs, but thats life! It's never going to get any cheaper!
That's budgetting for you.
It's like watching Boys & Girls alone RYL version here. I'd love to see how some people would survive if they were just given a flat to live in for six months and had to earn and pay everything. Who'd sink and who would naturally float...
You've either completely missed the point of everything I said, or you're just trying to pick a fight -- I've no idea which, but maybe if you made a little more effort to treat others with even a modicum of respect you'd be a bit more well liked.
Lets, see, where to start... For one, the amount I was earning when I was at home sure as hell wouldn't rent me any place as nice as my parents house -- I'd barely be able to afford a cardboard box, at least where I live, so no, it actually wouldn't guarantee me a place to live. The only thing guaranteeing a place to live is my parents, and paying them rent wouldn't change that in the slightest. And I made very clear that I was talking about my situation, not yours -- whether or not your parents would kick you out of the house if you stopped paying rent is entirely irrelevant to whether my parents would do so.
Yes, a landlord does kick you out if you don't pay rent. My parents won't. Hence why it's not like paying rent for real. That was actually my point exactly. Where I actually paying rent, if I didn't have the money, I wouldn't have a place to live, whereas if I were paying "rent" to my parents, if I didn't have the money, nothing would happen, so how could that possibly teach me anything about paying rent?
I have to consider whether I want to buy something I don't need whether my income is halved or not -- it doesn't change anything in that regard. And I do have plenty of necessary expenses I need to plan for, like medications, which are a predictable expense every month, or food, which varies from month to month, or things like toothpaste or light bulbs that I don't buy every month but come up as needed. That's a good bit more realistic than paying "rent" to my parents. It's the difference between getting an allowance versus earning money for real, just for expenses instead of income.
And if you still live with your parents, why do you seem to fancy yourself such an expert on independent living? I actually don't live with my parents most of the time, and haven't since I was 18. I did live with them last semester because I took time off from university for mental health reasons, but apart from that I've been living about 600 miles away from my parents, and more like 3000 miles in the summers, for most of nearly four years now. But then, surely don't know anything about living on my own, since it's only a 10 hour drive to my parents' house. I'm sure I couldn't possibly know nearly as much about managing money as if I were still living with my parents.
Last edited by typsee : 11-02-2009 at 09:13 PM.
Reason: edited to remove an offensive comment
Emily
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To the people who don't/haven't paid rent, have you ever offered your parents it? Have you sat down and openly discussed with them if they want money?
Yes. I used to give them rent money but they put it into an account and then gave it back to me at the end of the year.At the moment I dont have a job,but when I do I'll try again,but Im pretty sure theyll either refuse or just do the same as last time.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
Have you? Can you say that EVERY parent wants rent? I was kicked out before theisue of rent could come up for me. My younger sister and brother have both had the conversation with my parents. They don't want rent. They live rent free. They are provided for. If they want extra junk or extra stuff they have to buy it themselves. All regular food and toiletries are paid for. But, for instance, if my sister wants hair dye, she has to buy it herself. My mum also still buys clothes and stuff for them both. But stuff they need. Like socks and underwear. If my sister wants a sexy new jacket then she has to buy it herself. Not all parents want rent. I didn't say NO parents want rent! I said not ALL parents want rent. You accuse people of twisting words but you do it all the time.
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
A) Not all parents are willing to accept rent
B) Not all parents want rent
C) You can learn to budget without needing to pay rent
D) Paying rent, when you finally do, isn't necessarily going to be harder for people who haven't paid before
E) People can contribute around the house, value their stay, and not need to pay rent
F) Each family is different, anyway, and so making broad generalisations such as 'everybody who is working should pay rent' is stupid.
I know, for example, if I were to stay at home, my parents would much rather I worked full time, contributed 15% of my income (post-tax) to them, and saved money so that I could eventually move out and stand on my own two feet, rather than simply paying rent there, with little hope of actually being able to buy a house before the age of 35.
Well that just depends on your definition of rent then, doesn't it? I simply thought you meant paying a certain amount per week/month in order to stay.
I don't. I'm much more specific - rent: a financial transaction for maintenance and accommodation of lodging. Since you have financially paid for the food budget, you have thus paid rent.
No problem
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~invisible~girl~
so no, it actually wouldn't guarantee me a place to live.
But your original comment was of "For one thing, there's no feeling that your money is actually paying for anything" when actually it does. It guarantees my residency at this accommodation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~invisible~girl~
The only thing guaranteeing a place to live is my parents, and paying them rent wouldn't change that in the slightest.
It'd make there financial costs lower, and give them more cash to save up for a better holiday or purchase.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~invisible~girl~
My parents won't.
Then you're abusing parental generosity. Like I said the overall aim is to be more independent and less dependent on the bank of mum & dad.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~invisible~girl~
Where I actually paying rent, if I didn't have the money, I wouldn't have a place to live
That's life. If I were kicked out, I wouldn't have a home either, but because I have some cash and a job, getting a flat wouldn't be too hard nor effect my finances too negatively either. I could adjust the rate I was paying to the one I would be paying and thus life continues.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~invisible~girl~
whereas if I were paying "rent" to my parents, if I didn't have the money, nothing would happen
Your parents need to toughen up. A bit of tough love, like some rough nights on a bench and you'll soon get the picture.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~invisible~girl~
And if you still live with your parents, why do you seem to fancy yourself such an expert on independent living?
Because my situation is very different. I care for my Father on a daily basis. That's why.
Last edited by typsee : 13-02-2009 at 12:47 AM.
Reason: edited for rude and offensive comment
Have you? Can you say that EVERY parent wants rent?.
I never said such a claim. But however, in my community, yes. I have the documents and remember the presentation from my school days. Christ, if only I could remember the arguments used and get a few statements thrown in...
</alive>
At the end of the day surely it comes down to what you contritbute in general...
Some people pay housekeeping of varying amounts. It's what they can offer and what they're parents expect or accpet.
Some people use the money they earn to provide their own food, clothes, phone bill, petrol, driving lessons and so on.
Some people contribute to the food shop or pay a portion of the bills
Some people do the cleaning and the cooking
Paying rent does not make or break a person when still in the parental home. If your parents ask for rent and you point blank refuse or kick up a big fuss about it, I think that is extremely unfair.
Most people I know pay some form of housekeeping, as did I, but I also know people that don't. In my personal opinion everyone should contribute something even if it just a share of the chores. If you have a full time job you should probably pay housekeeping/rent but if it's not accepted by your parents then there really isn't much you can do. Use that money to provide for yourself or put into savings.
I don't. I'm much more specific - rent: a financial transaction for maintenance and accommodation of lodging. Since you have financially paid for the food budget, you have thus paid rent.
No problem
One could argue that what you're paying doesn't constitute 'proper' rent unless you have a legal contract between yourself and your parents. Without that contract of tenancy, you aren't a tenant, you're simple someone living in the house and contributing to the household income; in the same way that parents contribute to the household income.
18.11 28.4 6.5 22.31
My heart just needs his smile, that i can't forget, like so melancholy a kiss.
But your original comment was of "For one thing, there's no feeling that your money is actually paying for anything" when actually it does. It guarantees my residency at this accommodation.
If you read what came immediately before that, you'd see I was referring to a specific situation, which you've already said does not apply to you. If I were paying rent to my parents when I was at their house, there's be absolutely no feel at all that it was helping to contribute to household expenses, or otherwise making any noticeable difference.
Quote:
Originally Posted by IamJamesGreens
It'd make there financial costs lower, and give them more cash to save up for a better holiday or purchase.
As I've said, the amount of money I earn wouldn't make any difference at all to my parents finances. I've had bottles of wine that cost more than I earn in a week, and my entirely annual income wouldn't even make a dent in even the plane fare alone for the places we usually go on holiday. And also, if I were paying them rent when I'm at their house, then surely it could be argued I'm not financially dependent on them, which would mean they wouldn't be able to claim me as a dependent on their taxes (which they can because I'm in full-time education), and they'd actually lose more money due to that than they'd gain even if I have them all my income, let alone a reasonable amount for rent.
Quote:
Originally Posted by IamJamesGreens
Then you're abusing parental generosity. Like I said the overall aim is to be more independent and less dependent on the bank of mum & dad.
I'm not though. I'm working towards being more independent by saving money, rather than by trying to pay for everything myself with almost no income. As for my parents helping out, that's what families do -- they help each other. If I'm out with my sister, and I have some money extra money and she's broke, I'll pay for something for here; if she has money and I don't, she'll pay for me -- no one's being taken advantage of there, because we help each other out. With my parents, it's a bit different because they're in such a completely different income bracket that there's no chance I'd be able to help out in any real way at this point, but I'll help out when they're older if they need it at all, which they most likely will eventually, whether it's just by managing their money when they can't anymore, as they're doing now for my great-aunt (who has no children of her own), giving them a place to live when they can't manage independently, or helping out financially should their retirement funds run out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by IamJamesGreens
That's life. If I were kicked out, I wouldn't have a home either, but because I have some cash and a job, getting a flat wouldn't be too hard nor effect my finances too negatively either. I could adjust the rate I was paying to the one I would be paying and thus life continues.
Well good for you. I'd be able to get a flat too because I have enough saved up for a few months rent until I found a full-time job (which I don't currently have because I'm at university full-time). But if I did run out of money and couldn't find a job, I wouldn't end up on the streets because any of my grandparents and aunts and uncles would let me stay with them, and I've several friends who would as well, rather than have me on the streets, just as I would do if I have a home and any of them did not. Accepting help from people isn't selfish, it's part of a normal relationship, and it goes both ways as situations demand. That is, people who care about each other generally help each other when needed, and it only becomes selfish if you're will to accept but not give help -- it doesn't have to be a direct exchange all the time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by IamJamesGreens
Your parents need to toughen up. A bit of tough love, like some rough nights on a bench and you'll soon get the picture.
As I explained, I'm saving money so I eventually will be financially independent. Cutting off financial support actually wouldn't help me achieve that, nor would it do much for the strong relationship my parents and I have.
Quote:
Originally Posted by IamJamesGreens
Why the hell get involved in a debate that has nothing to do with you then? Jesus. You're the one looking for a bloody fight.
I said I don't, not didn't -- there's a big difference there. And although I don't live with my parents right now, I'm still financially dependent on them, and they're paying for my room at school, so while I do have experience living on my own, it's hardly that financial support from parents isn't relevant to me.
Emily
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In your district. Well, where I grew up, there was no rent ebing paid. And have you ever spent a few 'rough nights on a bench'. What a stupid comment to make. It just shows how narrow minded you are. If someone can live at home and there parents can support them and don't want rent that is great. Stop arguing that it's wrong. It's not wrong for THEM! What are you going to do, go to every parents and abuse them for not wanting rent from their children?
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
</ALIVE>
I've never been in debt.
I've always unquestionably paid rent.
Not many people on here can say the same, can they?
edit: actually no one, bar me, can say the same.
</ALIVE>
NO. I do what is fair and bloody deserved by all parents.
</ALIVE>
You cant say that about yourself.. you dont know the situation of every person on here, so dont try and make yourself sound better than everyone.
I for one have paid rent either to my parents or to a landlord from the week i got my first full time job aged 17.
I pay for everything myself and dont even have an overdraft.
And, not all parents deserve rent, and even if they do, doesnt mean they want it.
Your argument is flawed beyond believe because you wont accept that not all parents want their childrens money, and that those that dont pay their parents rent can still be good people.
Perhaps if you stopped being so narrow minded all the time, and had an actual debate instead of refusing to listen to things from other peoples point of view and just ramming your not always correct opinions down peoples throats, you would be a bit more pleasant to talk to.
As for my parents helping out, that's what families do -- they help each other.
This, basically. And families work in different ways - some with rent, some without. My family would never dream of tallying up how much everyone has contributed. My mother has 'borrowed' a lot of money from me over the years (using the term lightly as it's not expected to be paid back) - that's just the way families can function, too.
Face your life
Its pain, its pleasure
Leave no path untaken
Your parents are actually teaching you a valuable life lesson. Paying bills and budgeting (on a smaller scale to real life obviously)
Believe me, you will thank them one day for this life lesson, so i totally agree with you Lou Lou. I must admit i didn't think i would be paying this much now i live in my own place etc. Plus your parents do alot for you when you live at home. It's nice just to give something back. It's not like they are asking for all of your wages, just a contribution.
Fairs fair if you ask me.
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