Is it normal to feel so terrible after an intake assessment?
I had my initial intake assessment for a treatment center this past Friday, and have felt horrible ever sense (although I am trying to not let it show). I keep thinking about every question they asked me in the dragging 2 hours they drilled me.
I feel like I did a terrible job trying to explain how I feel, and was nothing but confusing when talking about symptoms and how long everything has been going on. I just keep thinking of questions that I may not have answered correctly, or just nodded along to a question because I didn't fully understand what they were asking. They asked me if I ever had cravings for certain foods, I answered no because I have been on a binge/purge cycle, everyday, for the past 3 weeks. Looking back on it, I do crave food everyday and crave binging in general. I said no though, so now I am stuck on the fact that they are going to either a) think I am a liar if I say otherwise or b) think I am making everything up and that things are not bad at all. They also asked me if I ever compulsively overeat, and I answered no. I thought that, sense I binge and purge, there is no way for me to compulsively overeat so, again, I go back to a and b thoughts from before.
I just feel like I came off completely unintelligent, unable to describe my history with all this or even how I feel about everything. Not to mention I couldn't answer some of their questions, and just responded out of panic.
I wish I didn't feel so torn down by this, it's just adding to everything else.
" You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do."~ Eleanor Roosevelt
Intake assessments--or trying to explain your symptoms--is always nerve-wracking I think. So are you waiting to hear now whether you're accepted to the treatment center? If so, no wonder you're agonizing over everything you said! I wish I could give you some advice, but all I can say is I relate to that kind of anxiety and second-guessing yourself. I'm sure you did fine--no one can find the perfect words to describe something as complex as an ED. Think about it--do you think any of the other people they interview had perfect answers either? :) Heck, just the fact that you didn't have a panic attack or cry so much you couldn't talk is great! *hugs*
It is entirely normal to feel like crap:
(a) you have to face everything - all symptoms, behaviors etc - in one fell swoop; emotionally its like going thru your entire spectrum of disorder in an hour
(b) the people doing it arent usually therapeutically focused so you dont get empathy or support during that frankly traumatic experience
(c) you have to deal with revelation and "getting it right" and telling the truth and all that - which leads to lots of second guessing and regret (as reported).
i felt sosososososo horrible after one particularly memorable "interview" ... for about three days ... till I realized all this ...
SO
yay you
you did it
get support, nurture, cuddles, whatever you can
sadly this stage is necessary, currently
Remind yourself you have done the hard bit and opened up. Hopefully now you'll start getting help and start the process of feeling better. Your panicked responses are commonplace when a person is being assessed like this, and I am sure they see it every time they do an assessment.
Intake assessments--or trying to explain your symptoms--is always nerve-wracking I think. So are you waiting to hear now whether you're accepted to the treatment center? If so, no wonder you're agonizing over everything you said! I wish I could give you some advice, but all I can say is I relate to that kind of anxiety and second-guessing yourself. I'm sure you did fine--no one can find the perfect words to describe something as complex as an ED. Think about it--do you think any of the other people they interview had perfect answers either? :) Heck, just the fact that you didn't have a panic attack or cry so much you couldn't talk is great! *hugs*
She told me at the end of the assessment that she highly recommends me for their IOP program, which allows me to still continue working on my masters (although I am stressing about how I am going to manage both...). She said she would be calling me either today, no call today though, or tomorrow after she speaks to the assessment team on her recommendations and what they also recommend. Just waiting to hear from them... Kinda dreading the call, because then it becomes official I guess...
Thanks you guys for the comforting words. I just wish my anxiety didn't get the best of me to the point that I feel so terrible about myself, it only makes things worse. I don't know how to change it though, hopefully treatment will bring some relief...
" You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do."~ Eleanor Roosevelt
