in need of help...

[Cazki]

I'm sorry i know i havent been here very much, not like i used to be. I'm really struggling though. Most of you will remember me. I just havent posted hardly anything for quite a while. I have had deppression for quite some time and i am on medication and have been for a long time. I've been unemployed for a long time to. I just feel like giving up. I feel like my life has come to an end after 24 years. I just don't feel like i can go on.

[Cedrus]

Feeling like life has come to an end is a horrible feeling and i'm really sad to hear you are experiencing that right now. I may be wrong, but I'd hazard a guess that things have dipped really low in the past too, can you think of anything that helped then?

Would voluntary work be an option? Even if only for half an hour a week? Something to keep you distracted but also to feel needed and valued. Have you got any pets? Or maybe try and see a friend?

Is there anything that helps you distract yourself? Sometimes I find colouring in with music on in the background good, especially because it doesn't matter if you think simultaneously, unlike with reading.

Could you perhaps go back to the GP or psych that prescribed the meds and explain how you feel so maybe the meds can be tweaked?

I hope you manage to get out of this dark place.

[LittleCloud]

*hugs* Ian. Wish I had more words, but I hear you and will listen

[Snow White.]

Thinking of you, you've pulled through so much and I know things are difficult but you can do this too and we are here for you xx

[Cazki]

Sorry i know i havent wrote on this i was ok for a while. I'm not feeling great again though. I apologize also for not answering your questions. I am so tired of life.

[Cazki]

I think i will have to go to the drs. I have been getting out a lot because i dont like staying in doors. I just feel like giving up. I quit.

[Snow White.]

Going to the doctors is a really good idea. You deserve to feel better than this, and you can. Even in the post above you said you were doing okay for a while so know that it is possible, and you'll increase your chance by getting help from the GP.

[Cazki]

I think i'm slowly heading back to how i was before just without the self harming. I don't want to be here. I'm sorry you shouldn't have to put up with me.

[Cazki]

slowly drifting away

[TheDarkComes]

You can get through this...thinking of you *hugs*

[Isoverity]

You don't want to analyse things too much when upset and beset with adversity. The mind flips into the dark side of the psyche and lies and exaggerates about problems. Death is the worst thing and yet can seem ok compared to living. If you've been doing things wrong to keep from growing then that means you have ability to change and do things right. If you have no control then there is no reason to get down on yourself. 24 is still quite young. Lots of people don't find a focus until 30-35-40 or more. That stuff really doesn't matter as long as its your intent to want to be a decent person. Lots of famous and successful people also want to die. Learning to be content is not entirely dependent on circumstances. Make life and learning experiment and don't get bogged down with results. Appreciate the moment and the process. Don't hate things or yourself. That keeps you cut off from the bright side of your psyche. That fact you have conflict attests to the fact that you don't feel like yourself - a self thats still there but that you've been cut off from. Fixing that's a matter of learning to respond neutrally to stresses and not self destructing in storms of negativity. You don't have to "stay positive" - you just learn how not to fall into being negative - then the positive returns on its own

[Patent Pending]

Hi Ian,

I'm sorry you're feeling so low. I think going to your doctor would be good for you right now.

How are you feeling? Would it help to talk about what's going on for you a little more?

x x x

[crazykat]

Hi Ian,
I am sorry I have only just seen this but wanted to let you know I am here to offer you some support. Would you like to talk about what is making you feel so hopeless at the moment? I think making an appointment with your doctor would be helpful to you. Here if you need anything. Take care
Kat xxx

[Cazki]

I'm sorry i havent responded until now. Havent been myself for about a month maybe more. I went to the doctors on Friday and she has given me some different tablets this time. I didnt know it but this is the 4th lot iv been on now. Maybe i am just beyond anyone being able to help me. I overdosed a couple of weeks ago. I still keep thinking about it. I keep looking at dfferent tablets in the shops trying to decide what is best. I'm so tired, its just like a constant battle. Ok so when im ok its good im happy and so on but it never lasts long. I just dont know anymore. I cant get a job im fed up with living and i just feel like i dont have a life anyway. Why should anyone have to listen to this anyway. I apologize but as you can see im really not myself. I dont know who to go to. I feel useless i feel so exhausted.

[Cazki]

god i feel dreadful i cant carry on like this

[Cazki]

No they didn't. I didn't tell her the whole truth. All i really said was that i feel like giving up. I have been collecting tablets to.

[Cazki]

I think i am beyond being able to be helped. I'm just not worth the hassle.

[Cazki]

I know that when i do die it will be very bad but i cannot continue with life and i cannot live like this.

[crazykat]

I agree that it would be helpful to go back and ask for more support than just the meds. It is worth reaching out for the help and you do deserve it however only you can make the choice whether to get that help or not. You have been through rough times before so I do believe that you can get through this too. Keep talking to us.

[Cazki]

hey just to let you know i am in hospital. have been in since friday evening. i took a fairly large overdose