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Old 17-04-2015, 02:38 PM   #1
ParanormalChickenGeek
 
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Got rushed to hospital last night....

Last night was completely strange.

I got in from work, ended up binging on chocolate then purged. I haven't done this in about two weeks, and even before that it wasn't really a daily thing. I wouldn't say I've got an eating disorder particularly, I just really want to lose weight and sometimes restricting my calorific intake makes me so hungry I end up binging...

Anyway. After the binge and purge, I lay down and started to read a book. After half hour I had excruciating abdominal pain and thought I may need the toilet. I didn't make the toilet and ended up fainting. I started to pour with sweat, shake, have heart palpitations and feel very dizzy and nauseous. I made it to my bed and lay down and called my bf to come home.

My bf got home and said I was turning blue, was very cold and shaking. He called an ambulance and I was rushed to hospital.

In hospital my BP was low, particularly when standing. At one point I tried to go to the loo and I fainted again so medics rushed over and put me back in bed. I was given IV meds and two bags of fluid. Apparently I was severely dehydrated and my bloods showed high urea, high white blood count and some other stuff I can't remember. I then got discharged and told to keep up the fluids. It was also suggested that I have gastroenteritis which caused the abdominal pains.

I'm just confused. Why did this happen? I hardly ever purge anymore. I'm a 'healthy' weight, I'm quite young and generally healthy. I still feel very dizzy and I'm just really confused why...
I've never been taken to hospital before apart from when I was 6 and had an asthma attack. It was all very frightening last night and I guess I'm just really scared.

I have an appointment for an assessment with a psychiatrist at the end of the month, which I've also never had. I don't know whether to talk about this. I feel like it's something to do with my physical health, it can't be because I made myself sick once! I don't have an eating disorder, I'm just another young girl on a diet, loads of girls are like this, it's not an illness. Am I right?
I'm scared.



We're all architects of our own private hell
No-one can hurt us like we hurt ourselves...


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Old 18-04-2015, 01:28 PM   #2
LittleCloud
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*hugs* lovely. What you say to me or to others if this had happened to someone else and not you?
PLEASE tell the psychiatrist. You should probably get a check up with your doctor early next week if you can just to check everything IS ok now. I know how messy it can feel in your head; how hard it is to admit it might be a problem but I think you know it is an eating disorder. Please let others know. You deserve the support you give to others <3



So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn

Kamelot - A Sailorman's Hymn Lyrics



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Old 18-04-2015, 10:08 PM   #3
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Hugs I'm so sorry that sounds so scary. I'm glad you are safe though. I'm sorry I'm low on words x

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Old 19-04-2015, 09:46 AM   #4
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Thanks guys *hugs*

I never want that to happen again, I felt like I could be dying!... But the other side of me desperately wants to lose more weight and doesn't care. I'm going to try very very hard to just stick to restricting and no purging.



We're all architects of our own private hell
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Old 19-04-2015, 02:26 PM   #5
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Hey sweetie, I'm so sorry you had to go through this, but well done for calling your boyfriend when you realised you weren't feeling well.
Did you tell the doctors about how you ended up there?, that you made yourself sick? How are you now?

Purging puts a hell of a lot of pressure on your body, no matter how little you do it, its a very unnatural thing & even one purge can effect your whole system. Purging in hot weather is a bigger risk for dehydration too. How are you with fluids? Perhaps taking a water bottle around with you might help?

In regards to your psych appointment, You certainly should bring it up with him/her. Even if it is a physical symptom. Have you been to your GP since? Are you able to talk to him? You clearly need more support surrounding your eating & speaking to a professional could be a gateway to further treatment/interventions that might help you.

Thinking of you lovely <3







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Old 20-04-2015, 05:32 PM   #6
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Thanks Helen, that's such a lovely reply.

Yes, I told the paramedics that I'd purged and I also told the doctor on the ward. They both asked if I had any support for this and were surprised that I didn't, but made no further comments. They basically said the lack of intake (food and fluid) that day and then purging made me dehydrated, plus having gastroenteritis which gave me abdominal cramps.
I'm feeling a lot better now, though still dizzy at times and my blood pressure is lower than normal. I have eaten an ok-ish amount since this happened and am trying hard to drink as much as possible.
I have a GP appointment tonight as I've ran out of meds, but I don't know whether to mention it. I kind of want my bloods done again to see if they've improved but I just feel silly admitting I did that. I feel like I don't have a problem and they'll think I'm an idiot. They'll also think I'm a crap nurse if I do this to myself but advise others not to.
I wish I wasn't me so bad.



We're all architects of our own private hell
No-one can hurt us like we hurt ourselves...


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Old 20-04-2015, 06:43 PM   #7
LittleCloud
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Please tell your doctor about what happened on the weekend lovely. They are not there to judge you, and you said you had quite a supportive doctor. It's hard when you work in a caring profession, but I know- as do others- that I would never do or recommend to anyone else what I do to myself and to go into a care role shows how much care you have for others. But caring for yourself is harder. Please keep asking for support- what would you say if one of the young people you support said what you have said here?



So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn

Kamelot - A Sailorman's Hymn Lyrics



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Old 21-04-2015, 08:19 PM   #8
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I know, you're right Alanna. I can never care for myself like I do for others.
It just feels different when it's me. It's my fault, I'm doing this to myself. I know the dangers more than any other.
It hasn't even been a week since I was hospitalised and tonight I did it again.
I don't know how to stop this, or even if I want to stop. If I could restrict enough I wouldn't purge, it's only because I eat so much. Because I'm greedy and have no will power.
I'm constantly fixated with wanting to be thin and pretty, I place SO much importance on looks, I don't know why and I don't know how to change.



We're all architects of our own private hell
No-one can hurt us like we hurt ourselves...


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