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Old 28-04-2015, 09:04 PM   #261
Uglyducklin
 
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Hugs this sounds so tough. Thinking of you x

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Old 29-04-2015, 04:41 PM   #262
LittleCloud
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Thanks Jessie. I'm sorry. I don't know. I was open to my boss about my eating- I said I'm happy to support exercise, healthy weight and foods but I don't want to be mentioned as any kind of example. I feel dirty, weak, attention-seeking.... I didn't do it right and I don't know if it will change how I'm seen. I don't trust. Doctors visit and he says I'm underweight but not losing fast. I feel like a failure



So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn

Kamelot - A Sailorman's Hymn Lyrics



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Old 29-04-2015, 08:41 PM   #263
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Hugs you are not a failure and did nothing wrong x

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Old 30-04-2015, 04:06 AM   #264
LittleCloud
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I am. At everything



So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn

Kamelot - A Sailorman's Hymn Lyrics



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Old 02-05-2015, 03:46 PM   #265
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struggling so much to understand this. What is real, and what isn't. My doctor says I'm underweight. I finally asked. But I don't know if I can believe it or if he is just saying to try stop me. But wanting to be small isn't the same as being.
It feels so lonely and disconnected here, but I don't deserve to join in. I never did. No support for a couple of weeks. How am I so weak that this is a problem?



So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn

Kamelot - A Sailorman's Hymn Lyrics



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Old 08-05-2015, 03:25 PM   #266
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Feel so frightened of the meal plan; so numb; wonder how anyone believes me. Don't really want to be alive. Just need someone to hold me....



So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn

Kamelot - A Sailorman's Hymn Lyrics



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Old 11-05-2015, 03:49 PM   #267
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I am losing. I am losing my relationship. I have no more fight left



So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn

Kamelot - A Sailorman's Hymn Lyrics



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Old 12-05-2015, 02:39 PM   #268
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Really feel at the end

Today I'm exhausted. I worked 14hrs yesterday, nearly lost my relationship; struggled through another day of my meal plan and all the time just so exhausted I could have gone to sleep never to wake up again. Things are better with my partner today but there is still a lot to go. I saw my counsellor today and talked through a lot and got my eyes checked because I've been having funny effects on my eyes since I started Prozac and because I have a medical condition that affects my eyes wanted to make sure nothing was wrong. I'm just so tired. I don't know how long I can keep fighting like this



So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn

Kamelot - A Sailorman's Hymn Lyrics



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Old 12-05-2015, 05:05 PM   #269
Bellatrix
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I hope you can find the strength to fight this. You deserve so much better.




Imperfection is underrated.



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Old 12-05-2015, 08:10 PM   #270
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You're doing great with fighting, it sounds like you're trying really hard right now.
Was your counselling session helpful?
I'm glad things are a little better with your partner, I hope you can be totally honest with him. X



We're all architects of our own private hell
No-one can hurt us like we hurt ourselves...


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Old 13-05-2015, 03:17 PM   #271
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I'm trying. Really trying. Realising how much I've been carrying things for my partner and I because he's not admitting things aren't perfect for him mental health wise and I really want him to go well with his honours which he's in the middle of. I really need to talk to him but finding a good time is hard. I'm really struggling with eating and seeing my body differently- smaller than I thought makes me wonder where I really am



So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn

Kamelot - A Sailorman's Hymn Lyrics



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Old 13-05-2015, 04:18 PM   #272
LittleCloud
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I feel like I deserve nothing yet I still want to fight. The need for all the things I need for that frightens me so much



So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn

Kamelot - A Sailorman's Hymn Lyrics



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