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Old 09-04-2008, 12:35 AM   #5081
Pomegranate
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go and wake him up hun, he would rather that then something happen to you. Damn it I wish I lived closer to you x





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Old 09-04-2008, 12:47 AM   #5082
Detour. Derail
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Its ok....:(
I think....I need...to go to bed...
Hopefully....I'll feel better tomorrow :(



...&& the cracks begin to show...
**Lex**


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Old 09-04-2008, 12:51 AM   #5083
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Ok hun, if you can't go to the hospital then bed seems like a good alternative :) You have my number if you want to text someone or anything. Hope you feel better tomorrow. N'Night xx





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Old 09-04-2008, 02:43 AM   #5084
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*hugs emma, chloe,ally, helen and alexx plus any1 who needs it*

I'm okies i think hmmm

How r u guys there?

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Old 09-04-2008, 05:06 AM   #5085
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I just found out one of my good friends from uni (she's already graduated) has cancer... Not only that but it's come back (so I didn't know about it before)... And it's critical I can't even go see her right now because of uni This sucks...

*curls up in her corner and sobs*



I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
~ Marilyn Monroe



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Old 09-04-2008, 05:11 AM   #5086
~*forever_broken*~
You should just give up on me. I would.
 
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Alexx sweetie, I hope you're feeling better luv...
Take care

*hugs Alexx, Jeremy, Emma, Cloe, Callie and anyone that needs/wants then returns to her corner, hugs her knees and stares vacantly forward*



I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
~ Marilyn Monroe



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Old 09-04-2008, 09:36 AM   #5087
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Are you sure Jeremy? Here if you need to talk

I am so sorry Ally *offers hugs and comes sit by you to keep you company* Please stay strong, I know it is really hard but the most you can do for your friend is be there for her.

How are you doing this morning Alexx?





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Old 09-04-2008, 09:52 AM   #5088
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how is everyone now?
in my 1st session she gave me a lecture about how websites are not helpful and i should stay away....so showing her the posts might not help quite so much lol. i dunno. i could copy and paste some of my journal, but....i dunno. im not a very revealing person, i dont like having things on actual paper, i always think someone might find it...

jeremy, how are you in more detail?? lol. ur always so supportive but you never seem to complain about anything....or tell us good stories, for that matter!



Even as the stone of the fruit must break
that its heart may stand in the sun,
so must you know pain.

There are only two ways in which one can live their life. One is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is.


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Old 09-04-2008, 10:38 AM   #5089
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*hugs everyone*

Alexx, how are you this morning? I hope you were able to sleep last night.

Ally, all you can really do is be there for her. We're here for you to lean on as well, remember that.

Jeremy, I hope that you are actually ok (as opposed to just thinking you are ok).

Chloe, I'm sorry she said that. Sadly a lot of these so called experts think the same. But if it helps you then don't let her make you give it up or make you feel guilty/awkward about it.

*hides in a corner clutching my big teddy bear*
When will this feeling stop?? :'(






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Old 09-04-2008, 10:57 AM   #5090
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True true...
just having a iffy day..boring and uneventful...nothing out of the ordinary

Sorry, i dont' have anything to gripe about yet...i'm too easy going i suppose hmm

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Old 09-04-2008, 11:02 AM   #5091
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in that case, right foot yellow



Even as the stone of the fruit must break
that its heart may stand in the sun,
so must you know pain.

There are only two ways in which one can live their life. One is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is.


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Old 09-04-2008, 11:48 AM   #5092
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I would do anything for a drink right now...
*wanders about in a daze, clutching my teddy*
Lost. Lost. Lost.






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Old 09-04-2008, 12:22 PM   #5093
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*hugs carole* hang in there mate..in 2weeks, u'll be back at uni so just hang in there and things will improve

and for u chloe...right hand green lol

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Old 09-04-2008, 03:29 PM   #5094
Detour. Derail
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I didnt want to get up this morning....
I dont even remember going to bed...
Just being woken up by my mum this morning thinking "ffs...ANOTHER day..."
I told my pyschology teacher about what happened over the holidays though...coz she kept saying "YOU NEED TO REVISE OR YOU'LL FAIL!!"
now shes gonna talk to my personal tutor...and see if she can arrange extra time for me in the exam...personally i dont think she can...

Now I'm writing some stupid essay on global warming that I dont REALLY want to do...and its due in by friday....and I have to do a powerpoint with it as well....
Its so boring, I feel like scrathing my own eyes out....

I'm sick of this sinking feeling....
I need Jess to come online....
Just so I know she's there...

anyway...
on to more important matters....
How is everyone?

I got a text of Helen today....she isnt doing so well....
maybe everyone could leave loads of support for her?
Im really worried about her :(
*hugs for everyone and goes to scratch her eyes out do her essay*



...&& the cracks begin to show...
**Lex**


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Old 09-04-2008, 04:09 PM   #5095
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Damn it. Another few scratches (my "tool" wasn't sharp). I would do anything for a drink. I only want the one.
Everything is getting to me. Everyone is getting to me. I just want to feel some sort of peace for a little while.

The following content has been hidden - Reason : Not sure I want to see this at the moment
I want to watch it trickle down my body. I need it.
I'm nearly in tears because this feeling, this need, is just so strong. I long for the release.
I've tried different methods but none of them work as well as bleeding does.


*hugs everyone* I hope you are all ok and keeping safe.

Helen, sorry for not having anything of great help to offer. Just know that my thoughts are with you.






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Old 09-04-2008, 05:46 PM   #5096
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Ok, maybe showing her this site may not be a good idea Chloe, but showing your journal maybe. I know you said you aren't a very revealing person but at least if she knows she can help, even if it is hard to let her in. Just an idea *hugs*

*hugs Carole* Keep fighting it hun, it doesn't matter what your SI looks like either, the fact that you do it is the problem regardless of depth or severity. My PM box is open if you need to talk.

Well done on doing your global warming stuff Alexx! Although I have to admit, it sounds boring to me too lol. I am glad your psychology teacher is trying to help and you never know she may be able to arrange something. Even if it isn't extra time they can do something where they state extenuating circumstances and you get an extra few marks on each paper or something.

*hugs Jeremy and offers cookies*

How is everyone else doing today? Ally? Callie? Squiggles? Katy Lou?


---------------

I am having one of those days when my mood swings in huge circles. One minute I am laughing, the next someone says something or takes a little too long to do something or does it wrong and I am snapping and close to tears. I stormed out of work today just announcing I was taking an unscheduled break because I didn't trust myself not to burst into tears or start screaming at someone. Had a cigarette and then had to go back in because my car lighter was looking too tempting. Bought new blades and wine so am feeling slightly more secure now. I just...urrghhh I was having a good couple of days but my 'time of the month' always seems to make moods and whole supposed BPD worse. I want to be alone but my family are all home. Seriously considering ringing my nan up to borrow money and going to stay in a hotel tonight.

A waste of money....yes but I feel like I need to be alone from everything. I could just tell my family I am spending night at a friends. *sigh* Sorry for long post





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Old 09-04-2008, 06:30 PM   #5097
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i am wandering in to give everybody hugs and nice things and get this out because i also want to say that i dont want to talk about my feelings and i dont want to talk about myself anymore and why the hell does everybody always have to say "how are you?" and make you elaborate all the time can't just one person ignore me and not care can't i just sit in a corner and destroy myself if i want to and not be bothered and be ignored can't just one person ignore me please and NOT ask me how i am for the love of whatever god or goddess or elephant deity thing is up there can't i be ignored for once??

oops sorry that got a bit out of hand didnt it



xxxooo


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Old 09-04-2008, 06:31 PM   #5098
Detour. Derail
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*hugs for Carole and Emma and Callie and Helen and Ally and Jermey and anyone else....*

I have nothing other than that....

Unless stomach ache and an urge to purge counts?
But I dont think it does.
It suddenly hit me.
Today's Wednesday. Tomorrows Thursday. Then its Friday



...&& the cracks begin to show...
**Lex**


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Old 09-04-2008, 06:35 PM   #5099
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You can Callie but you know you don't have to.





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Old 09-04-2008, 06:36 PM   #5100
Detour. Derail
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MYSTUPID****INGESSAYIS200WORDSSHORTANDIDONTHAVE200 WORDSTOADDTOIT

ARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!


AND I STILL HAVE TO DO THIS BLOODY POWERPOINT AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO IT ON

*bounces off the walls*

pjb ;jbnplbkokbnmlk pkrtj p#l3krngjk5n lr,gjhn!!!!!!!!!!!!!



...&& the cracks begin to show...
**Lex**


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