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Old 08-01-2010, 05:28 AM   #20081
SoMuchMore
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*hugs april* you okay? sorry ur not feeling well.

*walks over to corner and collapses* i quit.



<3

forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past
- buddy wakefield

I won't give up if you don't give up



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Old 08-01-2010, 02:49 PM   #20082
Steel Maiden
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Hugs to Kiera.

I CAN'T F'ING STUDY. My brain won't work and the Voices are talking again....



PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10 or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.

I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.


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Old 08-01-2010, 04:54 PM   #20083
Scarletdreamer
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*cuddles Laura* What's up, sweetie?

I'm home alone right now and I really want to cut & b/p. There's a ton - a TON - of food in the fridge that we made last night and they wouldn't notice if a bit was gone, would they? And there are knives in the kitchen, too, and food in our room (the one that we "borrowed" from our friend's daughter - we're still at his house). AAHHHH!!!! *wants to cry*

Last night was so tough. Vince wanted to know why I looked down and when he guessed that someone did something to me that made me hate myself so much, it all unraveled. Didn't cry but it feels like I have a PTSD hangover right now... hate the memories, hate the thoughts, hate them!!!! I want to die... I am so sick of my life right now. It's so hard to think positive thoughts, so difficult to control the urges, so so difficult!!!! :(

Hugs? support? :'(



RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.


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Old 08-01-2010, 08:44 PM   #20084
SoMuchMore
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*cuddles kiera*

*hugs steel maiden* Sorry you cant study and about the voices.

*hugs april* things sound really hard for you right now I know its hard to control urges but keep fighting them. You are a great person hun. Stay strong.

I'm fine i guess... kinda numb today... Things are just getting harder and harder instead of easier.. and i'm kicking myself, b/c i was just starting to feel like i could figure things out. I can feel a relapse is on the way...



<3

forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past
- buddy wakefield

I won't give up if you don't give up



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Old 08-01-2010, 10:08 PM   #20085
Kahlia1981
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*hugs Kiera*

*hugs Olympia* (Did I get that right ??) - Voices make it so hard to study, try and be easy on yourself. And the feeling that your brain won't work ... I get that alot. Sometimes I read a passage and then have to reread it several times to make sense of it. I find it frustrating. I hope it eases up and that the voices don't get out of control.

*hugs April* I've got to echo Laura here hon. Fight those urges for as long as you can. I believe that you can beat them. I believe in you.

*hugs Laura* I wish I had some words for you Laura, just know that I'm thinking of you and hoping that you can get through this difficult time without having a relapse.

*hugs everyone*

I spent a majority of last night talking to an old high school friend. He reminded me of how much I lost through the ECT. I mean, it saved my life, but I paid an incredibly high price for it. I don't regret having it, I just wish it had left my memories alone. :( Now I feel tired and numb. I just want to disappear for awhile. I really want it all to be over. Can I get off this ride now please??

*curls up in a dark corner with a teddy bear and a pillow and tries to cry herself to sleep*



She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *


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Old 09-01-2010, 05:05 AM   #20086
SoMuchMore
-Laura-
 
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*cuddles kahlia* aw i'm sorry that the ect messed with your memories, i cant imagine how much that would suck... It would prolly bother me to no end. Don't disappear though. We would miss u.

And thanks for your kind words. I'm trying to keep distracted, but its getting harder. Hopefully things ease up when i go back to my university on monday.



<3

forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past
- buddy wakefield

I won't give up if you don't give up



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Old 09-01-2010, 08:14 AM   #20087
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*crying in corner, holding knife not know what else to do, but this.................

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Old 09-01-2010, 11:53 AM   #20088
one_step_closer
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Keep talking to us downunder, we are here to support you.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 09-01-2010, 01:47 PM   #20089
MammaMia
 
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*curls up*

Please let her be ok :'(



Have left RYL.

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Old 09-01-2010, 09:49 PM   #20090
Strawberry.Bananas
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JESUS THIS IS SO ****ED UP!!! :(

Sorry but, I don't know what the hell to do anymore. I think I need to join a convent because I am so DONE with relationships. I don't understand. :(



"Can I ever be truly whole again...



...after being broken so many times?"



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Old 09-01-2010, 09:56 PM   #20091
MammaMia
 
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*cuddles tight*



Have left RYL.

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Old 09-01-2010, 09:58 PM   #20092
Strawberry.Bananas
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Make it stop Hels? :(



"Can I ever be truly whole again...



...after being broken so many times?"



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Old 09-01-2010, 10:13 PM   #20093
MammaMia
 
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I wish I could. I wish I could make everything bad for me stop too becuase it needs to. I jsut need to die.

*cries*



Have left RYL.

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Old 09-01-2010, 11:28 PM   #20094
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*gives all in here hugs*

Gah. Just too confused right now as to what I want. i don't know what i want. Just too difficult right now. I wish it would all just go away



~Matt~

Susanna Kaysen: I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favorite word.
Dr. Sonia Wick: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
Susanna Kaysen: I don't care.
Dr. Sonia Wick: If it's your favorite word, I would've thought you would...
Susanna Kaysen: It *means* I don't care. That's what it means.

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Old 09-01-2010, 11:30 PM   #20095
MammaMia
 
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Screwed everything up.
Again.



Have left RYL.

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Old 10-01-2010, 03:34 AM   #20096
Scarletdreamer
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*cuddles everyone*

So sorry you all are struggling... I am too. Ate a HUGE supper (okay, felt huge to me...) and now I really want to purge but can't... :( it sucks. It's been too long anyway... but that doesn't stop me from wanting to.

I hate myself... we worked out tonight & I felt better for a little while but now I feel like crrrrap and I don't know what to do about it. Thankfully I have time to get online now so can vent some but it doesn't help a great deal. :(

*needs hugs*



RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.


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Old 10-01-2010, 04:08 AM   #20097
MammaMia
 
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*hugs*



Have left RYL.

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Old 10-01-2010, 04:58 AM   #20098
SoMuchMore
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*hugs vicki, helen, yodabear, and april* I wish I had words for you guys. I'm sorry you are struggling. Hope things get better soon. Keep fighting urges and bad thoughts.


Last edited by SoMuchMore : 10-01-2010 at 05:03 AM. Reason: forgot something


<3

forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past
- buddy wakefield

I won't give up if you don't give up



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Old 10-01-2010, 05:00 AM   #20099
MammaMia
 
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How are you laura?



Have left RYL.

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Old 10-01-2010, 05:24 AM   #20100
SoMuchMore
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Fighting some urges right now.. i'm okay at the moment tho. Dealing with 2 crappy situations with friends, but looking forward to going back to school on monday. Then at least the stress of home should lessen.

U feeling any better?



<3

forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past
- buddy wakefield

I won't give up if you don't give up



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