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Old 09-12-2009, 11:59 AM   #3221
Lollirot
Hold me under, cut away this empty
 
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Location: Australia
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I feel like cutting right now despite the fact I don't need to, despite the fact I'm not distressed. I'm scared of getting better. I don't think it's possible, but at the same time I wonder if I sabotage myself out of fear. *sigh*



"Watch me fault her "you're living like a disaster". She said "kill me faster", with strawberry gashes all over"


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Old 09-12-2009, 12:06 PM   #3222
youonlyliveonce
 

u say i wont do it but im just waiting. u are getting a better support system around u now its getting stronger. its not gonna be too long. i love u. but the idea of this all stopping is wat ive wanted for so long.

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Old 10-12-2009, 10:54 PM   #3223
dramatic_sheep
 
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everytime ive been into a shop lately, ive bought a pack of painkillers..now i have quite a lot.. kinda worried that one day soon ill snap and take them all :s

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Old 10-12-2009, 11:39 PM   #3224
goldilocks
Just keep running up that hill...
 
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I'm meant to be the student doctor, but I've got more in common with the patients.

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Old 11-12-2009, 12:09 AM   #3225
dying_to_be_perfect
 
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IT HURTS THAT YOU LOVE HIM SO MUCH MORE THAN ME ALREADY AND YOU HAVE KNOWN HIM LESS THAN A MONTH! Why am i so unworth loving! everything is coming back, i feel so out of control and i cant tell you because you hate that part of me. I wish i could tell you but i cant! and i love you so much im so happy you are so happy and you deserve to be so so so much but i just feel like im falling apart! The pills seem so easy, it would be over so quickly and you would never have to know. I just want to be loved......but im too worhtless, i just want YOU to love me but you dont coz you care too much about him to care about me! i am happy your happy i swear, thats why i wont say anything coz id never want you to be unhappy! I love you too much, and i need to cut you out of my head again because i cant cope like this, i cant deal with falling apart like this again, i only got better when you werent there and it kills me to know the only way for me to be ok now is to be without you! But im not strong enough to cut you off x



YOU ARE MY WORLD


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Old 11-12-2009, 02:18 AM   #3226
Katters
 
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Location: Chelmsford, Essex
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I still want to cut.
I still think about it, fantasise and obsess about it every day.
I still dream about doing it.

And i'm not allowed.

I don't want to end up resenting you for making me stop.
Which is why i never ever promised anyone but you.

This is so hard.



"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow'.
--Mary Anne Radmacher


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Old 11-12-2009, 07:21 AM   #3227
lozza
just trying to fly εϊз
 
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if I were you I wouldnt believe a word I said anymore, and I wouldnt ever go behind my back either...

I mean...do you want to keep me safe and kill me at the same time??

...I'll leave the descison up to you



sometimes being strong means not holding back the tears but letting them fall
~˙·٠Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ٠·˙~

mj is my bright, flickering candle light ~ always helping me through to another day:)
r.i.p my beautiful girl jackie. i will love you always no matter what - 6/5/10


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Old 11-12-2009, 04:01 PM   #3228
Frenemies
[Alive out of Habit]
 
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Location: The Wired
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I let people walk all over me and I don't know why.



Broken Smile . Starless Sky . End it All . Say Goodbye...


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Old 11-12-2009, 04:30 PM   #3229
offlineforever
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I know i need help, and fast, but i'm scared of just how fucked up I am...

it's more than even I am aware of.

I don't know what to start fixing first, there is too much.



Left.

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Old 12-12-2009, 12:58 AM   #3230
Elphaba
ooooh hello!
 
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I'm ugly & I HATE myself



No Day But Today

Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive
I'm sorry I'm not as perfect as you
I'm Lost and Alone in the Dark

PM if you want to chat


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Old 12-12-2009, 11:06 AM   #3231
Pnuemonia[Blue]
 
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All my efforts to clean me, leave me putrid; filthy and how can you look at me when I can't stand myself!

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Old 12-12-2009, 02:37 PM   #3232
Mademoiselle Lola.
la folie.[to insanity]
 
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i've never binged so much...




You can buy me with a coffee,I'm so cheap.

Got bitten fingernails&a head full of past;Got a broken heart&your name on my cast.
&&I wanted her to tell me that she will never wake me.

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Old 12-12-2009, 02:50 PM   #3233
offlineforever
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I haven't eaten properly for days...



Left.

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Old 12-12-2009, 04:30 PM   #3234
Olive branch
 
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I'm not happy with this ED, I'm not happy with the ODs, I'm not happy with the cutting. I'm not FUCKING happy with you. But add those things up and I survive.

Understand me?



System A
Sophie Mandi Max Gwen Mercy Erin AVA Tracey Bridget
My Isaac

System B
Tabitha, ?,Robert, Pippa, Sarah?

"Don't touch me."

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Old 12-12-2009, 04:38 PM   #3235
Olive branch
 
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My pysch wants to weigh me again. I'm losing weight so he doesn't think I'm a fake and a failure.



System A
Sophie Mandi Max Gwen Mercy Erin AVA Tracey Bridget
My Isaac

System B
Tabitha, ?,Robert, Pippa, Sarah?

"Don't touch me."

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Old 12-12-2009, 07:04 PM   #3236
Pnuemonia[Blue]
 
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I understand now and i don't want to live this way.
I'm not going to live this way.

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Old 12-12-2009, 09:18 PM   #3237
offlineforever
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I've been to hell and back so many times, too many times.

I'm in hell now and i don't think i have the strength to get back



Left.

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Old 12-12-2009, 10:11 PM   #3238
I.Heart.And
~Approachable and fit (apparently)~
 
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I day dream about seducing you quite a bit.






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Old 13-12-2009, 04:55 AM   #3239
hope.is.overrated
I am on the verge of being a complete disaster...
 
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Location: Brazil
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It's hard

1 - I can't tell what I think to people
2 - I am not good with expressing emotions, good or bad
3 - When I am angry or sad I never discount them on people, always on me
4 - If I could, I would stay in my bedroom in the dark all day and come out only at night
5 - I feel guilty when I eat too much
The following content has been hidden - Reason : (Triggering/Suicide)
6 - Sometimes I want to join the 27 Club

7 - I don't get treatment 'cause I am afraid to be normal like everybody else
8 - Being different and unusual it's the only way I know how to be, for better or worse, it's the only thing I can deal with
The following content has been hidden - Reason : (triggering)
9 - I am a weak person, but when I SI myself I feel stronger, 'cause I know that most people don't have the courage and strenght to do what I do

10- I don't like mental hospitals and the thought of being in one scares the hell out of me, but I can't stop dreaming about it...

PS: If I wrote something that RYL doesn't allow, I am sorry, I am new in here and I am still reading the rules


Last edited by hope.is.overrated : 13-12-2009 at 05:05 AM. Reason: May be triggering
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Old 13-12-2009, 02:14 PM   #3240
offlineforever
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sometimes i think all the negative things said on this thread are aimed at me

http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...ead.php?t=1450



Left.

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