I feel like cutting right now despite the fact I don't need to, despite the fact I'm not distressed. I'm scared of getting better. I don't think it's possible, but at the same time I wonder if I sabotage myself out of fear. *sigh*
"Watch me fault her "you're living like a disaster". She said "kill me faster", with strawberry gashes all over"
u say i wont do it but im just waiting. u are getting a better support system around u now its getting stronger. its not gonna be too long. i love u. but the idea of this all stopping is wat ive wanted for so long.
IT HURTS THAT YOU LOVE HIM SO MUCH MORE THAN ME ALREADY AND YOU HAVE KNOWN HIM LESS THAN A MONTH! Why am i so unworth loving! everything is coming back, i feel so out of control and i cant tell you because you hate that part of me. I wish i could tell you but i cant! and i love you so much im so happy you are so happy and you deserve to be so so so much but i just feel like im falling apart! The pills seem so easy, it would be over so quickly and you would never have to know. I just want to be loved......but im too worhtless, i just want YOU to love me but you dont coz you care too much about him to care about me! i am happy your happy i swear, thats why i wont say anything coz id never want you to be unhappy! I love you too much, and i need to cut you out of my head again because i cant cope like this, i cant deal with falling apart like this again, i only got better when you werent there and it kills me to know the only way for me to be ok now is to be without you! But im not strong enough to cut you off x
1 - I can't tell what I think to people
2 - I am not good with expressing emotions, good or bad
3 - When I am angry or sad I never discount them on people, always on me
4 - If I could, I would stay in my bedroom in the dark all day and come out only at night
5 - I feel guilty when I eat too much
The following content has been hidden - Reason : (Triggering/Suicide)
6 - Sometimes I want to join the 27 Club
7 - I don't get treatment 'cause I am afraid to be normal like everybody else
8 - Being different and unusual it's the only way I know how to be, for better or worse, it's the only thing I can deal with
The following content has been hidden - Reason : (triggering)
9 - I am a weak person, but when I SI myself I feel stronger, 'cause I know that most people don't have the courage and strenght to do what I do
10- I don't like mental hospitals and the thought of being in one scares the hell out of me, but I can't stop dreaming about it...
PS: If I wrote something that RYL doesn't allow, I am sorry, I am new in here and I am still reading the rules
Last edited by hope.is.overrated : 13-12-2009 at 05:05 AM.
Reason: May be triggering