Dealing with belated grief

[Luna] · 08-04-2021, 09:45 AM

Hi guys,

In 2019, I lost my dad and two dear friends. The year was so rough that I didn't really have time to take any of it in. I just felt numb.

Over the last few months, I've noticed the emotions hitting me a lot more. At night I cry because I miss them so much.
I keep seeing people in the street that looks like one of my friends and it's like a gut punch because I have to remind myself he's not here anymore.

I don't know what to do with these emotions. I don't know how to express it or where to put it.

I don't know if anyone has any advice or ideas?

Pi.R^2 · 08-04-2021, 05:34 PM

So sorry you're struggling so much with grief, it sounds very intense.

Do you have a memory box/book for the people you lost? Maybe that could help with processing your feelings and expressing them in a healthy way.

I'm guessing grief counselling might conflict with the counselling I think you already have, but maybe there would be something that cruse bereavement could offer- their website has information pages and they have a helpline.

[Luna] · 08-04-2021, 06:53 PM

Thank you Jenna, those are helpful suggestions.

The counsellor I see used to work for Cruse. I've been meaning to talk to her about it but more pressing things always seem to come up. Thank you for reminding me about them, I'll check out the website.
I also really like the memory book idea as well xx

Pi.R^2 · 09-04-2021, 11:59 AM

Oh that's handy then. I hope you'll manage to speak to her about it, but I appreciate you've got so much going on; it must be difficult to prioritise what to speak about in your sessions!

[Luna] · 09-04-2021, 12:48 PM

Yeah it really is.

I looked at the website last night and they had some good resources. They also have email support that I'll try once I've worked out how to word it all.

Iamcatbug · 09-04-2021, 03:29 PM

I can empathise. I lost my Dad unexpectedly a few years ago and my grief over it comes and goes in waves.

I don't think it helps that society seems to act like as soon as the funeral is over. That is it and we should just move on with our lives and be fine. But it isn't that simple.

I've always looked at my grief as being a bit like the tide. It is always there, sometimes close, battering my emotions to pieces but sometimes far away giving me breathing space.

I hope that made sense.

I have never had bereavement conselling for the death of my Dad, but I have friends and other family members who are happy to talk about my grief with when I am having a bad day. I don't know if that is something that could work for you?