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Old 14-06-2007, 09:19 PM   #1
pebbles
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Triggering (Suicide) - control!!

so everything in my life is about control, most of the time i think about possible things that could happen to me so much so that i am prepared if they happen and i can deal with it.
but now i am starting to feel controlled by my urges to control every aspect of my life.
The smallest changes in plans or my routine send me into a fit of rage, i jus get totally hysterical and think about killing myself.
My life is either incredibly controlled or completely uncontrolable, there is never any middle ground.
this sort of behaviour is starting to concern me especially as i seem unable to control it.

any comments/advice

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Old 14-06-2007, 09:28 PM   #2
inkyspider
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Hi,
I do know exactly what you mean about control. I always feel the need to be in control and do everything i can to make sure i have control of a situation.
It does sound like it's starting to seriously affect your life detrimentaly and it's good that you realize that.
Are you seeing a counsellor?
I have found that control issues seem to be the root of a lot of my OCD like behaviors (routine, keeping everything in a 'correct' order and place etc) and a good way to deal with that is in the safe environment of therapy.
Where, often through CBT, you try and rationalize your thoughts and slowly expose yourself to situations in which you feel out of control.
Hope this helps a little,
Tabby x




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Old 15-06-2007, 09:49 AM   #3
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I understand sweetie. Its the same for me. My Eating Disorder and OCD is all about control. I also think about really bad situations to think about how I would control them (I thought it was only me who did tht!!! hehe).

I think Tabby is definitley right, you have to speak to counsellor about it. CBT didnt work for me, but I didnt really give it ago, so its worth a try for you.
Hope things get better,

Maddie xxx



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Old 15-06-2007, 12:15 PM   #4
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Therapy could really help with this.

I am wondering if there's a reason why it scares you so much to not be/feel in control? Understanding that might help you to overcome the need more safely. I know that for me it has helped a lot to identify the root causes.

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Old 16-06-2007, 02:05 PM   #5
pebbles
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hi
thanks for replying.
iv been talking bout this recently and i think one of the reasons that i need control is that my mum has been ill since i was about 2 and i guess iv always hated the fact that i couldnt ever do anything to help.
i ended up no going to see her when she was in hospital cos i couldnt handle it.
loads of other stuff has gone on in my life since then and i jus cant cope with any of it.

x kate x

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Old 18-06-2007, 09:13 AM   #6
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That sounds a very highly likely reason for the need for control, about your mum. Its hard to see someone close to us being unwell and feeling powerless to make it better. ((gentle hug)) How is your mum doing now? Can/do you do some little things to help her? I bet the things you do actually mean a lot to her, even though they can't cure her.

It might help to make a list of the things in your life that you can control. Like, you can't usually control other people, but you can control how you respond, for example.

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