Triggering (SI) - So I kind of did something bad the other night and I'm scared
I cut myself the other night for the first time in 6 months
I've been really depressed lately and things just got on top of me, basically I moved to Wales to be with my now, ex and we split up and since then things have gone really downhill for me
I'm scared I'm going to go back to how I was, doing it as often as I used to and I don't know what to do to make it any better
Any ideas anyone?
I May Be Going Broke But I'm Never Broken Down
Less Than Jake <3
16.06.10 - The Day He Saved My Life
Love You Baban
<3
Don't beat yourself up over doing it that once, you were having a really bad time and you just slipped up, it doesn't mean you will go back to doing it as often as you used to.
I don't really have any practical advice I'm afraid, I just wanted to offer some support.
(((hugs)))
Leah
I guess I was just really proud like, I'd reached a record for me and then I ruined it
I just feel like a failure now and I have to hide it now cos no one here knows about it, I don't suppose I'd feel so bad if I wasn't still in England
I May Be Going Broke But I'm Never Broken Down
Less Than Jake <3
16.06.10 - The Day He Saved My Life
Love You Baban
<3
I guess I was just really proud like, I'd reached a record for me and then I ruined it
I just feel like a failure now and I have to hide it now cos no one here knows about it, I don't suppose I'd feel so bad if I wasn't still in England
You didn't ruin anything, you just got a minor setback. You slipped, that's all. You still have those six months, and that should still mean a lot to you. When you've managed that once, you can do it again. And so what if you slip every six months - you're still doing a great job! (I'm not saying that I think you'll slip often, I'm just saying you should be proud of every day you DON'T do it!)
"You monkeys grinning behind your bars — I’m more at home with the winds and the stars."-A.C.
I just feel like, blah now
I just feel like the last 6 months have been a waste of time really, I wanted to prove myself to everyone that I'd stopped doing it like
The only ones I've told at the moment are my two best mates and my mate I'm staying with at the moment and I feel guilty cos they're upset that I've done it
I know that I didn't mean to upset them and I know they're upset cos they care about me and I know they know I didn't mean to upset them
God, I'm so confused at the moment
I May Be Going Broke But I'm Never Broken Down
Less Than Jake <3
16.06.10 - The Day He Saved My Life
Love You Baban
<3
I just feel like, blah now
I just feel like the last 6 months have been a waste of time really, I wanted to prove myself to everyone that I'd stopped doing it like
The only ones I've told at the moment are my two best mates and my mate I'm staying with at the moment and I feel guilty cos they're upset that I've done it
I know that I didn't mean to upset them and I know they're upset cos they care about me and I know they know I didn't mean to upset them
God, I'm so confused at the moment
They're not wasted, not at all. They're still six months without giving in, and that's a big accomplishment!
I recently had my first slip in three years, and I got really mad with myself. But then I try to think of those years were I stayed away from it, and I'm proud of myself. You should be too, 'cause it's hard to stay away. Sometimes it can be very hard.
As you say, there's not wonder why your friends are upset - they care about you and just want what's best for you. But you shouldn't worry about upsetting them, in times like this you don't need more worries than you already have. :)
"You monkeys grinning behind your bars — I’m more at home with the winds and the stars."-A.C.
I dunno what to do or how to feel anymore to be honest
Like I'm proud of the fact I didn't do it for like 6 months but now I'm wondering if I can do it again.....
I May Be Going Broke But I'm Never Broken Down
Less Than Jake <3
16.06.10 - The Day He Saved My Life
Love You Baban
<3
I'm sure you can do it again. Believe in yourself. I know what its like to feel like you have messed up completely... :/. I went 4 months...then slipped up several times, went another month- slipped up... wen't another month...slipped up several times- to situation I am now in :/.
Your not a failure...and I know its hard...But I'm sure you can do it again... x
The only reason I didn't do it for 6 months was cos I was living with my ex and I know he would have gone mad if I'd done it
Now I've split up with him I just feel like I can do whatever I want now cos he can't have a go at me
I've wanted to do it for the whole 6 months and I think it just all built up and blah!
I May Be Going Broke But I'm Never Broken Down
Less Than Jake <3
16.06.10 - The Day He Saved My Life
Love You Baban
<3
That means you can do it for others, and not yourself. That means you located what your motivation is. That's a good thing!
Are you able to project that over to something else - stay away from it for someone elses sake? I'm not sure what to say here... But it's obvious you can do it mostly for others, and not yourself. And just by knowing this, it helps... :)
"You monkeys grinning behind your bars — I’m more at home with the winds and the stars."-A.C.
I dunno
If there was someone I knew would go mad and be full on disappointed in me then maybe I could
But the only ones who really know about it are my two best mates and they've seen it when it's been really bad
Even when they say not to do it, I still do
I dunno who I can stop it for really
I May Be Going Broke But I'm Never Broken Down
Less Than Jake <3
16.06.10 - The Day He Saved My Life
Love You Baban
<3
