They are after me again.

rara avis · 03-02-2012, 02:46 AM

I know They are watching me, monitoring my every move...
And I can't get the Voices to stop. They are so loud and constant. I can't think straight. It's been about a week of this plus the lead up and I don't know how the hell to get it to stop.
I've barely been eating and I feel so weak mentally and physically.

... I don't know what to do.

Sorry for posting.
Rara

talaiporia · 03-02-2012, 03:41 AM

Have you told anyone about this? It might be a good idea.

emptyxcolorsxx · 03-02-2012, 03:50 AM

I agree with talaiporia...
It will be well worth talking to someone..
Be safe
xx
Laur

rara avis · 03-02-2012, 04:26 AM

Thank you talaiporia and emptyxcoloursxx.

I see my psychiatrist every two weeks. I told him a little bit last week and he said to keep an eye on it, he was worried I was 'relapsing'. I see him again next Friday. I just don't know how to manage.
I'm only leaving the house when I absolutely have to for uni and appointments. The rest of the time I stay in my room hiding from the Spybots. Sometimes I listen to my music really loud to try and drown out the Voices, when I remember to...

little_paws · 03-02-2012, 10:46 PM

do you have a crisis team you can call? It sounds like you need support now rather than waiting until next week

rara avis · 04-02-2012, 01:08 AM

Thanks little paws. No I don't have a crisis team, just my psychiatrist.

little_paws · 04-02-2012, 01:33 PM

can you call your psychiatrist and try move app forward?

rara avis · 05-02-2012, 12:16 PM

I called today and he has no appointments before.
I've barely slept, I stayed up because of the Spybots at my window and he voices won't SHUT UP. I'm a bit afraid.

Steel Maiden · 05-02-2012, 04:14 PM

I think that you should go to the emergency room. I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this.

rara avis · 07-02-2012, 07:27 AM

Thanks Oly.
I really don't want to go into hospital. I want to avoid it if at all possible.
Today I managed to go to class but wasn't able to take much in, i was followed all the way there and I just can't get the voices to stop.

HildaOgden · 07-02-2012, 07:34 AM

Hi Rara
I really think you should see your doc or go to hospital as you sound really distressed.
I came into hospital nearly two weeks ago with similar symptoms as you. I feel safer from the voices.
I really hope you can reach out for help.
Hugs
Chas
Xxx

rara avis · 07-02-2012, 10:05 AM

Thanks Chas,
I hope that being in hospital helps.
I'll call my psychiatrist again tomorrow and see if there have been any cancellations. I am hiding out in my room... But I don't feel safe.

Steel Maiden · 08-02-2012, 06:57 PM

Hi Rara. I hope calling your psychiatrist has/will help. Do update us.

[Luna] · 08-02-2012, 08:18 PM

Thinking of you love and hope you get an appointment with the psych really soon! You don't deserve to be going through this xx

rara avis · 09-02-2012, 01:50 AM

Thanks Oly, I called and asked to be notified if there were any cancellations but I think it will still be Friday given that it's Thursday now.

Thanks Lavalamp.
I've got three assignments due in the next week so today is a study day, I've just got to get the voices to stop so I can concentrate and do the work...

rara avis · 09-02-2012, 02:16 AM

Thanks Oly, I called and asked to be notified if there were any cancellations but I think it will still be Friday given that it's Thursday now.

Thanks Lavalamp.
I've got three assignments due in the next week so today is a study day, I've just got to get the voices to stop so I can concentrate and do the work...

Steel Maiden · 09-02-2012, 12:47 PM

I am sorry to hear that there don't seem to be cancellations. I think you should get extenuating circumstances for your assignments.

rara avis · 10-02-2012, 01:39 AM

Oly, it's not too bad, I'm seeing him today, Friday is finally here. We'll see what he says.
I managed to complete one of my assignments yesterday plus get quite a bit done on the other two. I had my headphones in while I studied which helped. I hope I can manage to do some more today as one of them is due tonight.

I'm doing an animal sciences course and one of the subjects requires you to provide enrichment to an animal so today I'm getting rats for that string of assignments. I'm excited about it but it means I have to leave the house which is bringing up more fear.
We'll see...

rara avis · 10-02-2012, 11:38 AM

They've told me what I have to do. I just need the courage to carry it out.

talaiporia · 10-02-2012, 11:37 PM

Who told you what? Are you safe? What's going on?
Did you see the psych?