I haven't worn short sleeves in about six years. I've resented summer with a passion since I was 15, convinced that showing my arms was the worst thing I could ever do.
Recently, though, it's started to look more and more like I'm done with self-harm for the foreseeable future. And more people than ever know that I'm a little bit crazy, even if they don't know exactly how that manifests. So for the past three days, I've been rolling my sleeves up when out with friends and wearing no sleeves at all in front of my best friend, who is partially-sighted (my worst scars are above the elbow).
It's been fine. I couldn't be more shocked.
I almost want someone to say something, because this a really big deal for me and none of the group seem to have even noticed that anything is any different. Which is just a total mind-f*ck because I always thought that the sky would fall in and there would be wailing and gnashing of teeth (mine or theirs!) if I ever did this, but there's been.... nothing at all. Not even a squeak or and only one double-take. It's weird and liberating at the same time...
These past few years have been wonderful and terrible, and maybe the terrible bits don't have to mar the rest of my life after all.
I am p r o u d of you. What an achievement:) Scars are certainly nothing to ashamed of, so well done to you. :) xx
For you to be here now trillions of drifting atoms had somehow to assemble in an intricate and intriguingly obliging manner to create you. It's an arrangement so specialized and particular that it has never been tried before and will only exist this once. That is of course the miracle of life.
-Bill Bryson
Don't ever frown because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
I absolutely love reading stuff like this - I was in exactly the same position one year a go. I think we can surprise ourselves sometimes, half of what we expect to happen never happens at all :) well done, you should be super proud of yourself for this huge achievement! Go and treat yourself to something to mark this event - you deserve it!
Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world awaits in darkness for the light that is you.
I had the same issue, my scars aren't bad but i know they are there and when I get sunburnt (very pale so even the english sun got me burnt) they really showed up because they were white. I had to get tatts on my arms before i showed them to anyone (wish I had more maturity when choosing them as one says sex ). Now I have no probs showing my arms and when people notice and say something I just tell them they are marks of everything I have got through in life.
I am so happy for you being comfortable to show off your arms now. If people say anything or even stare just see it as that you have got through it and are on the other side now.
xxx
There is no life for us apart from the ones we make for ourselves!
So get making!
This is so wonderful! I've also been braving the no-sleeves look and have experienced much the same lack of reaction. It's disorienting because I made it out to be such a huge deal in my head, but in reality it's been fine. Congrats to you!
Really well done, that is such a scary thing to have overcome, be so proud of yourself for getting this far!
♥ .I'm going to fall like I don't need saving. ♥
...My smile's just the armour I built when I was alone...
There was some part of me that hurt so badly, that I wouldn't ever be able to forget it.
It faded but the memories could bring it back any second, keeping me in the moment.
It would never fully heal. I could never really be free. I could never really be fixed. Now I just have to work out how to live whilst being broken.
I feel like I'm dying.
I guess I'm curious now about how you get the courage to go outside without the option of long sleeves, or to take a cardi off completely and show worse scars. Rolling up sleeves feels quite subtle and reversible, whereas whipping off a cardigan feels a little too much like a "Ta-Da!" moment....! It's like turning up naked or suddenly stripping down to your underwear!
And I'm not looking forward to going back home after I graduate tomorrow and starting again with my family - I haven't really gone sleeveless in front of them before and it's a bit more emotionally charged for them than it is for my uni friends. I feel a bit more guilty about displaying my arms when I know it's going to hurt them
About a year ago I went though a similar process. I would never have believed so back then, but I can now walk though uni sleeveless and feel completely normal. I've gotten used to being in front of strangers sleeveless too, at first when it was difficult I just reminded myself that they didn't know this was all new to me, if I acted like it was no big deal, the vast majority followed suit. Now with people I meet I don't hide it from the start. I do get asked from time to time, but the majority of people I meet either don't notice or don't mention it. I still find it a little difficult to go sleeveless in front of people I've known for a long time who don't know about my past SH, if they are close to me, I prefer to tell them before they see, but if I don't have that relationship with them, I just let it be.
Sorry for the long ramble, guess my point is it can be difficult at the time, but it will get so much easier in time, and well done for taking the first steps
Wooo that's amazing!! It feels so much better when it rally happens rather than deliberating over it. Remember this moment and this feeling, so if you're ever struggling in the future you know it'll truly be okay :)
So proud of you!!
Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world awaits in darkness for the light that is you.