Positive Post - 20 year old male .. insecure

boost · 12-10-2019, 08:57 PM

Hello. I am a 20 year old male from Eastern Europe in my 3rd year of college.

I am at a point in my life where I feel very unhappy and don't know what to do.

I always feel very inadequate and inhibited, afraid of being real and honest about myself. I just feel an extreme level of shame whatever I do. I had really bad acne and still have it and that has left very ugly marks all over my body and that has a lot to do with it. I am single and never had a real gf. Instead of having the best time of my life like all people say I should at this age, it just feels like I'm accumulating more and more regrets because I just feel like I can't get over the fact that I am ugly and my appearance sucks. I have been to multiple doctors, they gave me Accutane but it only worked while I was taking it. I am lonely and depressed, feel like I can't connect with anyone, very scared of intimacy and women and starting to hate them for no reason..

I'm just scared that I will end up on my deathbed having so many regrets and never being able to take the chances because deep down I don't think of myself as being worthy of anything or anyone. There are days when I don't do anything, I just lay down in bed all day hating on myself..

Some advice would really help.. thanks

Pi.R^2 · 17-10-2019, 09:37 PM

The classic old person advice here: you are still very young with many years ahead of you to achieve the things you want to achieve. People say it's the 'best time of your life' but that's really not my experience and I know plenty of people who were an absolute mess at that age and it wasn't until later that things started to fall into place. As far as I can see, research suggests that parts of your brain haven't even fully finished maturing when you're 20, so it's very OK to not be sorted yet. Give yourself time and try not to pressurise yourself. Life is not a race.

With regards to acne, is accutane not something you can take longer term to reduce the acne? Could you also look into scar reduction products, such as bio-oil? Though I'm saying this more because doing so might improve your self confidence, not because I think having acne scars is a bad thing that you ought to be ashamed of, it that makes sense?