Almost relapsed today.... not really ok

zivalover16 · 19-04-2015, 04:23 AM

From the time I woke up today, things weren't good. I am 24 years old and live with my parents. I am having stomach problems and my parents (particularly my dad) have taken it upon themselves to say what I can and cannot eat. My dad got very mad at me this morning and came close to throwing my breakfast away because I put chocolate syrup and whipcream on it. They both my parents were hounding me about what I should and shouldn't eat...
Not long after that my mom asked me why I hadn't faxed 2 applications to someone and I told her she had thrown away the number I needed and it wasn't online. My mom blamed me and again, lectured me. I have a sinus infection so I don't feel good and the stomach issues have me emotionally down a little.
Later in the day I over heard my mom telling my brother on the phone that our elderly neighbor had passed away. I got upset because he and his wife were/are fond of me. My mom insisted she told me but she hadn't.
For dinner dad controlled how many chicken nuggets I had (and it wasn't many) and when I ate them. I am still really triggered and want to self-injure but Monday marks 5 months self-harm free (or around Monday). I'm just so angry and feel like I have no control over my life any more except over the self harm. I lost having control over food. I'm 24 and have no control over my life.

Margo · 22-04-2015, 11:30 AM

Hope you have a better day. I'd like to advices to tell him to **** off. But that wouldn't help.

crazykat · 23-04-2015, 12:33 PM

Sounds like a really difficult situation to be in. Do you think it would help talking to them about how they treat you affects you? Otherwise is it an option to find other living arrangements or if that is not possible what about going out for a walk or to visit a friend every so often so you can get some space from the situation.

It may feel like you have little control over things at the moment but try and focus on the things you can control like whether you self-harm or not. I hope tomorrow is better for you.