Hi guys, I need some advice on what to do or where to go from here.
I have had a really tough time with MH these past few months and have been hospitalised on a psych ward twice. Three weeks ago I took a pretty serious overdose and crisis team saw me for 2 days and then discharged me back to community team after a meeting to handover which myself and my dad attended. Nearly 3 weeks later, no care coordinator has been assigned since mine left and I haven't even been discussed in the care coordinator meetings, my meds have been messed up so I am not sleeping, I have had no support at all and when I call the duty team and leave a message as no one is in the office, I am getting no phone call back. Lack of sleep is really starting to affect me now and my GP won't prescribe anything without speaking to MH services because I am 'high risk' but I'm getting nowhere when I call the mental health team. I am homeless in 2 weeks which is adding more pressure and it's looking likely I will be housed in B&B which is going to play havoc with my anxiety and that's also really worrying me. I am not well enough to return to work so I am struggling financially and there is still no word from my PIP application so I'm just waiting and struggling. I feel so hopeless and helpless, like I've been tossed into the 'untreatable' pile. I keep getting intrusive suicidal thoughts and plans and I'm fighting hard against them but it's hard, especially when I am so exhausted.
I really want to get my life back, I want to get back to my job, I want to feel ok and be able to go out without freaking out and I want to eat like a normal person and sleep and not self harm or think about my weight and calories and numbers and suicide.
I am trying to keep a crisis at bay but it's getting harder every day and I am told to call the duty team but no one is responding.
What do I do!? I don't want to end up in A&E again, using up precious resources, it's humiliating but then if I do something and don't go to A&E, with the amount of crap I have put my body through recently, it might not last another incident. If it wasn't for my Dad and my friends, it would be so easy to just to go to sleep and not wake up and I wouldn't have to worry but it's not that simple and I'm stuck.
I'm sorry this is long, I am tired and can't think straight and I am frustrated that I am seeking help from the MH services like I have been told to and I'm getting nothing back. I am trying so damned hard.
I still wonder about reaching out to an advocate or charity to see if they can get something done about getting you proper support. Have you or your family/friends looked into that at all?
I'm in a bit of a pickle with housing myself so can relate to how stressful it is. Is there any type of short term option that is an option such as staying with family or friends until you can get something in place? If that would feel safer than the options you are being offered for now?
I'm going to try and go to or at least call MIND tomorrow, it's just hard with anxiety and haven't got the guts to call them as it's hard enough calling the community team but I need something.
My friends could put me up but then that could jeopardise housing I have heard and I find it quite overwhelming and trapping being with them for more than a few days. Today is my first day home since Thursday as I was at risk of doing something and by last night I was itching to get home. I'm home now.
I am struggling with the conflict in my head and trying to keep distracted.
I've called the community team again and the receptionist just said I would hear from someone soon. I spoke to my dad last night and said I'm struggling to keep a crisis away but at least he acknowledged how hard I have been trying.
Yet again, no phone call back.
I am so exhausted, insomnia is back with a vengeance and I have no meds and my GP won't prescribe any until they have heard from MH team who are not even responding to me to get this sorted.
I am so tired and emotional and I'm done.
I have tried so hard and gotten nowhere and I see this as a sign that I should die.
I can't cope tonight. I'm sitting by the river contemplating everything and whether this is all worth it. My dad called the police and they called me but they are just going to message the community team. I'm not safe but who really gives a crap? I've been tossed onto the untreatable pile and left to rot.
I don't think they don't want to help you. I think they just don't know how, right now. I know it's hard when you feel abandoned and given up on but please hang on because there is bound to be someone out there who can help you. You just haven't found them yet.
I can't stay with my dad and I can't handle being at my friends again.
I just want to sleep and I may handle things a bit better.
But right now I can't handle everything thats happening and going to happen along side the anxiety and eating disorder and flashbacks and I just feel so hopeless.
I've come home but I'm probably even more unsafe here.
I'm so tired I wish I could sleep.
I did speak to my dad for a bit.
He is going to try and call community team today.
My friend called MIND and I have an appointment tomorrow.
I've also got my PIP assessment on the 3rd but don't have anyone to come with me so I'm petrified.
Well done on phoning your dad. It's important to keep talking to people.
I hope he has success with the community team.
I hope your appointment with mind goes well tomorrow. Good luck. I understand being afraid of the pip assessment, but I hope it goes well.
My dad called and they refused to speak to him, so I called and at first the receptionist tried to fob me off again until I said I'm in crisis and at high risk and then, miraculously, someone from the duty team was available! Finally I got a prescription for sleep meds and they are meant to be discussing me in a meeting tomorrow and providing me with a care coordinator. We will see though.
I'm just glad I finally got the meds that I know work to get me to sleep and sleep through the night. I hope that if I get a decent sleep, I may feel better tomorrow and be able to face the appointment and life a bit more.
as much as I love my dad and he has been great, us living in close quarters is not great and as he doesn't have a spare bedroom, there is nowhere I can get away for peace.
And me and my brother are not talking, haven't spoken to him for a couple of months now due to the issues with my mother.
It's all a bit of a mess but I'm hoping that I will sleep and sleep through the night tonight. Hope you are doing ok Jess xx
We have now complained to the patient experience team about the lack of communication and lack of support. Still no news on a care coordinator, it looks like I have been put to the bottom of the pile. even though my care coordinator left, I still haven't been allocated a new one. The receptionist was rude to my friend this morning and also said that no calls have been made to them by myself, my dad or my friend - which can be proven as a lie as we have call logs on our phones. I will be running out of sleep meds soon and no doubt will have the same battle as before and I am homeless in a week with no support from the services at all.
My dad and my friends are worried I will end up in hospital again or worse.
After complaining I got an urgent med review appointment for today where they have changed my meds AGAIN and referred me back to the crisis team.
I literally feel like I'm just being passed back and forth and not getting anywhere. Apparently I'm not getting a care coordinator and I'm not stable enough for psychotherapy and they can't help with housing or finance and so I'm just sitting here letting everything happen and feel like there is no hope.
No I guess I could try and contact Shelter. Ive been told to stay here until after my eviction date and wait until my mum has taken me to court but I'm not sure I'm strong enough for that.
No, community team haven't even offered a support worker, I said a care coordinator or support worker would be beneficial as a point of contact and to help me in getting on my feet but their excuse is that they are a multidisciplinary team and I should contact duty team. I have contacted duty team on a number of occasions and got no response.
We will see what crisis team say, they are coming this afternoon.