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Old 25-05-2020, 06:42 PM   #1
la Reina
 
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Loving someone who never want you

Sucks to do everything you could just to keep him, just for him to love you even if you knew it was never been his plan. I feel like I'm never been to myself lately as I have been struggling to move on for more than 7 months now, like I've been crying EVERY NIGHT or if feeling better, probably once a week. It's driving me crazy knowing the fact that all you have to do is to get it over with but still can't do it.

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Old 26-05-2020, 09:07 PM   #2
Unbreakable.
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You gotta give yourself however much time it takes to move on.
You cannot make yourself get over it, it'll happen when it happens.

In the meantime all you can do is try and distract yourself and create happy moments for yourself.
Are you spending time with friends and family and engaging with your hobbies?
It won't make it go away, but those are good ways to boost your overall wellbeing and give you a temporary break from the pain.




Humility over, I am amazing.

Fight for your dreams and your dreams will fight for you.


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Old 27-05-2020, 04:18 AM   #3
la Reina
 
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I have done that, and nothing's changed. I still feel like my heart is breaking that I wanted to scream

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Old 27-05-2020, 03:37 PM   #4
Harley
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It's a horrible feeling, I know.

It's easier said than done of course, but I think the key is finding a feeling of acheivement outside of the relationship. Like a lot of forms of grief actually (and a bad break up definitely counts as just that) a sense of personal improvement and achievement that you are proud of is a hugely important part of moving forwards.

Of course just how that is accomplished depends on a lot of different things, but in my experience, that has always been a vital first step and surprisingly, amazingly powerful if you can achieve it.

I actually think time on its own does very little. You learn to live with the pain, but it doesn't make it go away or lessen. What does is moving forwards, as a person, and thus giving yourself proof that you can continue independently.

As I say it's somewhat easier to say than do, but it might be something worth exploring, at least you have literally nothing to lose by trying

Hope that helps a little and feel free to use RYL as an outlet to vent those frustrations and feelings - sharing that will also help I think.

Take care of yourself

Harley



"Perfection is always under construction"

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Old 27-05-2020, 04:59 PM   #5
la Reina
 
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It's like I can no longer handle the pain everytime he pops up into my mind. I think what makes it worse is I know the kind of guy he is but still I fell into his trap, and probably still couldn't forgive myself from loving him and hurt myself in the process.

He doesn't seem to care about my feelings and what I'm going through, even if we're actually friends. A part of me wants to tell him the truth, but part of me is holding back for I know I'll be going into a battle where it's obvious that I will definitely lose.

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Old 27-05-2020, 05:11 PM   #6
Harley
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And what makes you believe you can't do a lot better... that you don't deserve it? If you know he doesn't care, then the question you need to find the answer to is why you do.

Not all battles can't be won, not all are worth winning, surely?



"Perfection is always under construction"

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Old 28-05-2020, 11:09 AM   #7
Mandimoo
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Forgiving yourself is difficult but vital. Be kind to yourself. If your friend was in your situation what would you tell them?



Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER

Mand x

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Old 28-05-2020, 05:04 PM   #8
la Reina
 
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How can I be kind to myself?

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Old 28-05-2020, 10:53 PM   #9
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How can u be mean to yourself on top of ur ex s unkindness . If he wont change maybe the shift needs to come from you not within the relationship but with ur relationship with yourself.you didnt deserve to b treated like an afterthought . And u have the emotions from how difficult things are plus giving youself a hard time too thats too much pain sweet mayb let up on giving urself such a hard time (easier said than done i know) and if your after practical advice on self care maybe make yourself a happy memories box and anytime u are struggling with things u can go to it and look thru it any old photos that make u feel happy or a nice snelling lotion or shower gel . Cinema ticket stubs or ones from watching a play. A pebble from the beach shells some nice beads or art supplies so u can make jewelery or get creative. I hope u feel better in time . I donr know you but i will be thinking of you xxx

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