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Old 18-05-2020, 01:16 PM   #121
tamobhuuta
 
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How are you now? Did the diazepam help?



with Christ I hang upon the cross

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Old 18-05-2020, 01:35 PM   #122
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The diazepam has helped a bit. I've gone to lie only bed because that feels manageable. And me and the cat are sharing cheese and pringles.

I just mai ly watch tv and crochet in the evening.



Given enough tea I could rule the world.


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Old 18-05-2020, 04:59 PM   #123
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Well done for being gentle with yourself. How are you now?



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Old 18-05-2020, 05:28 PM   #124
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I dont want to be conscious any more. I stopped hiding in bed and did laundry and made a phone call and put clean sheets on.

Feel so awful.



Given enough tea I could rule the world.


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Old 18-05-2020, 05:51 PM   #125
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Well done for all that but now it's time to relax. To distract I recommend TV, music and reading - if you are up to it *hugs* unless you think doing more housework etc is better, you know yourself.



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Old 18-05-2020, 06:26 PM   #126
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I went to the shop for milk and chocolate.

And I'm watching tv now. I want to go back to bed. But that's not healthy.



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Old 18-05-2020, 09:34 PM   #127
Pi.R^2
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Maybe not ideal, but more healthy than some of the alternatives I'm sure you considered!

When do you next see/speak to your CPN?



We may not see eye to eye, but we can respect each other's opinions and find the truth in them.
Perhaps in those honest conversations, instead of demonising each other,
we might see each other as imperfect humans, doing our best. ~ Jodi Picoult


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Old 18-05-2020, 10:15 PM   #128
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Dont know. She was meant to call today. Think she did. Had a missed call from a private number when I was in the shower.



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Old 19-05-2020, 10:52 AM   #129
one_step_closer
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Are you able to phone the CMHT and see if she's there?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 19-05-2020, 07:01 PM   #130
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I had a stressful afternoon.

I very much feel like cutting. It's either now or tomorrow.

I want to drink something bad. I need to keep people safe



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Old 19-05-2020, 08:03 PM   #131
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Sorry you had a stressful afternoon. Can you relax now instead of SIing? Please don't drink anything bad, it won't help anyone.



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Old 19-05-2020, 08:10 PM   #132
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I'm trying to keep distracted and connected to people by chatting.

Want to give in to the urges. Dont even see why imbotheri g to fight them. Not like it matters.



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Old 19-05-2020, 08:28 PM   #133
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It matters because you matter.



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Old 20-05-2020, 04:10 AM   #134
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I dont see the point in keeping going. I'm never going to recover. O



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Old 20-05-2020, 10:21 AM   #135
one_step_closer
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You matter so much. I know it is a hard battle and no one can see how it's going to turn out or when things will turn around for you but please stay safe and keep going. I totally understand the fight, I know it's not easy, but no one wants to lose you or have you harm yourself. We care.

How are things now?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 21-05-2020, 08:33 PM   #136
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My morning was very rubbish. And Im really worried my CPN now hates me.



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Old 22-05-2020, 01:32 AM   #137
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Why would she hate you?




Humility over, I am amazing.

Fight for your dreams and your dreams will fight for you.


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Old 22-05-2020, 09:00 AM   #138
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What's happened?



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Old 22-05-2020, 11:59 AM   #139
one_step_closer
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It sounds like you're getting on well with your CPN, why do you worry she might hate you? Is it just a worry?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 22-05-2020, 07:52 PM   #140
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Something happened that made me very angry before our appointment. So I ranted at her. And didnt want to the breathing exercise. And cried a lot. And told her all about wanting to not exist and being a burden and evil. And how I should be let to die. And things never getting better.

I want this to end. I need this to end.



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