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Old 20-11-2017, 02:24 PM   #1
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Need help getting over this.

I'm 29 year old male. Been in a relationship for 7 years and have 2 children. Before I meet this girl I been with for the last 7 years and had kids with I had sex with one girl that hung around my friends. Before we had sex I turned her down multiple times because she dated one of the guys that hung around my friends also and she had a reputation of having sex with alot of guys. Well after calling me a pussy and her calling my phone and asking if I was gay I gave in. I was drunk one night and she came over and I had sex with her. It wasn't the greatest. I was drunk and started to regret it immediately so the sex ended being horrible for both of us. Well then she decided to start telling people how horrible it was and I was devastated when people start asking me about it. I moved on and a year latter I met my now girlfriend of seven years. Me and my new girlfriend were out at a bar. A random girl came up to me right in front of my girlfriend and asked me if I knew of the girl I ****ed last year. Then she said that she knows alot about me in a smart ass voice. Then she said I herd you weren't that good. I was pissed off and felt so low. Well it's been years since then. Ive only had someone ask me once about the situation since then . I no I have a good life with 2 kids and a beautiful girlfriend but I can't get over that night when I was 21 and all the people she told. I still think to myself when I see that group of people if they talk about it or not or if she still tells people about it. Maybe I need closure. I'm afraid to bring it up 7 years later because I don't want it to start to be talked about again. I wish I could tell her she almost ruined me. Maybe I need closure. Any advice? I think about it alot for some reason.

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Old 25-11-2017, 07:20 AM   #2
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Sorry to hear you've been so badly affected by the experience.

Does your current girlfriend know about what happened and how it makes you feel? Is there anyone you could talk to about it?

We may not see eye to eye, but we can respect each other's opinions and find the truth in them.
Perhaps in those honest conversations, instead of demonising each other,
we might see each other as imperfect humans, doing our best. ~ Jodi Picoult

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Old 26-11-2017, 07:01 AM   #3
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Some people find it helpful to write a letter saying everything they would want to day to a person and to not give it to the person. Instead you can rip or burn it. If you feel like addressing the issue directly would cause additional trouble that might be an alternative and maybe that would help you to move forwards and find closure.

I am sorry you had such a horrible experience.

Humility over, I am amazing.

Fight for your dreams and your dreams will fight for you.

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Old 07-12-2017, 05:06 AM   #4
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Yikes! that is a very very painful experience.

I've definitely heard of people doing Heartbreak Kid's letter idea.

Do you still see the people that were in your life at that time? If you do, perhaps they are retriggering the memories and feelings. It might be refreshing to spend some time with a new social group of people who have no knowlege of what happened 7 years ago.

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The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.

PM me anytime, I love getting messages :)

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Old 28-02-2018, 11:43 AM   #5
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This post was very enthusiastic and encouraged to participate in the forum. This is a great place to thank you.
My friends' feedback helped me a lot, and I could solve many problems myself
I have 23, and I can identify and use the good and the bad of all the things I mentioned in this post.

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