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Old 23-02-2016, 08:03 PM   #1
I am a cat
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: In a horse stable
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Damaged my heart from overdose

A few nights ago, I took a really bad overdose, to the point I was in resus on constant watch.
I'm out now, but I'm feeling, detached and confused.
The overdose I took damaged my heart, and on my discharge letter it says I now have, "left atrial enlargement and right heart bundle branch block.
I'm being referred to cardiology, but I just wondered if anyone else had ever damaged there hearts?
Said thing is, I don't regret it, I want to do it again. I mean look I haven't posted in a very long time and that's because I have been well. Then all of sudden BAM the black monster is back. How does that even happen. I was better. I was! And now everything is turning to ****, my job, my friends, my life, and now my body.

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Old 24-02-2016, 04:25 PM   #2
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Location: In a horse stable
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I don't really have any support anymore. I remember back in the day when I had loads of support, and you just don't realise.
I don't think I'm even supporting myself at the moment, just beating myself up constantly because i should be better.

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Old 24-02-2016, 09:24 PM   #3
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Join Date: Mar 2011
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I can relate to beating yourself up about not being better, I'm doing that a lot too. Sadly it doesn't help anything and just leads you to feeling worse.
Is there any family or friends you can confide in? How's your relationship with your GP?
Please use us for support, you don't have to battle through alone.

Sending love darling x

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Old 25-02-2016, 12:32 AM   #4
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Upstate New York
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Sometimes things really do seem to just fall apart after a long while of them going well... It is really really frustrating! I don't know why it happens, but I've been there too.

I used to put a lot of pressure on myself to be well, successful, etc with so many "should" thoughts. Thing is, thinking in "should"s set me up to not meet my expectations. Recently I've been trying to replace "should"s with "it would be nice". It takes some of the pressure off. It would be nice if you were 100% recovered, but you're not, and that is ok.

You mentioned that you are feeling detached. What could help you feel more hooked in to the world around you? After my hospitalizations I always felt really disconnected and it helped to see some friends. Not even to talk about what happened, but just to feel normal and a part of the community again. I know other people who prefer to do other things to get themselves centered though... one of my friends always cooks a nice meal..

this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.

The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.

PM me anytime, I love getting messages :)

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