*hugs Jo tight*
I'm glad you've told your carer some of it honey. What did they say? The voices aren't right, and you shouldn't listen to them...we all need help sometimes. It's okay to ask for support and get someone to help keep you safe.
You need to get yourself safe Jo, whether it's by telling your carer completely or being in hospital.
x Katie x
im a complete wreck just now, im not sleeping or eating the voices are destroying me, i dont feel in control at all anymore.
i tried to escape and run away last night but my carer stopped me, i fought with her to let me go but she wouldnt, i wanted to escape the voices i just wanted some peace, i didnt want to believe her that the voices would be with me wherever i went, i just want to escape them.
she wants me to see the doctor again because shes really concerned about my safety now, ive told her im fine but she wont listen
heads going mad they telling me to do things, i dont want to i dont want to, please stop please *bangs head* i cant do this....i dont want to
i need to tell carer what they telling me to do? need to get help to keep me safe? im scared, should go see doctor?
I'm glad your carer stopped you running away Jo. It's true though; they will be there with you no matter where you are...and if you're not at home with someone looking out for you, you'll be a lot more unsafe.
I think you need to go to your doctor and admit to them everything...be completely honest with them. I know it's scary I'm currently writing a letter to my CPN to admit everything so I know how you feel. It'll be okay though. They can only help you if they know how bad things are.
I think it'd be a good idea to tell your carer what they're saying to you, and to ask for her help to keep yourself safe. You're strong honey, but sometimes we all need a hand. It's okay to not be okay sometimes.
x Katie x
i did manage to tell my carer what the voices were telling me to do and she promised to keep me safe, she didnt realise what the voices had been saying all this time but now she understands more but is even more eager for me to see the doctor again.
i have an appointment for the doctor this afternoon but im so scared, do i have to tell her everything?
the voices wont stop screaming at me and theyve got worse sinse i told her what they been saying, the intensity is horrendous and the need to act on them is so strong right now, just for some peace, i dont feel safe at all but i dont want to tell her that theyve got even worse
i just want it all to stop, i cant take anymore i cant
*curls up in tight ball*
*curls up with you and rocks you*
Well done for telling her Jo. I think it'd be best if you could tell her they've got worse; you've done the biggest step by telling her - don't let that door slam shut again.
Tell the doctor as much as you can. The more they know the more they can help you. I know it's scary and I can completely understand...in this together yeah? You tell the doctor and I give the letter to my CPN? *takes hand*
Always here <3
x Katie x
*cuddles into you and rocks with you*
ok i'll try and tell her theyve got worse im just scared that they will get even more severe than they are if thats possible.
ok Katie in this together yeah....i tell doctor everything and you give letter to cpn *holds your hand*
thank you Katie
sorry i haven't been around jo. read everything just now. proud of you for tellin your carer and doctor all thats going on, takes a lot of courage and strength to do that. like katie said, the more they know, the better they're able to help. voices are wrong in everything been sayin, do need help and its perfectly ok to need help. no need for sorry hun. *leaves hugs*
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
im not doing great just now and im feeling all over the place, my mood is very low and im feeling very unsafe still due to the voices and bad memories. yesterday was a bad day and my carer had to restrain me as i was about to hurt myself, just to get some peace from them.
the doctors appointment was really hard and i struggled, but my carer came in with me so was able to fill in the gaps for me. the doctor has prescribed another med which is supposed to take the edge off and upped the dose of my anti-pychotics again, even though i told her theyre making things worse. she wants to see me again on monday and if things havent improved slightly she wants me to have a short stay in hospital, i really dont want that i cant be in hospital i cant.
right now the voices are screaming at me telling me im no good and a waste of space, calling me a failure they want me to hurt self more, the wont stop. theyre angry with me so angry, they dont want me to take the new medication they say its bad.
im so confused right now, what should i do?
*curls up holding head in hands*
*hugs Jo tightly and rocks her*
I'm glad you went to the doctors honey, and that your carer helped you explain it to them. Please, try the medication and see if it helps some? You never know; sometimes it's not just the right dose it's the right combination too.
I know you don't want to be in hospital honey, and I know how scary it is, but maybe it'd do you some good? Just to not have to be the one to keep yourself safe any more. Plus, they can manage your medication a lot easier than to keep waiting for appointments.
The voices are wrong honey, completely. You're not a failure - look how far you've come and all that you've achieved. Don't listen to them about the medication - take it as you're doctors prescribed and see her again on Monday to discuss it. Tell her what they're saying about the medication etc.
im glad my carer came with me because i couldnt of done it on my own, i just couldnt get the words out as the voices were screaming at me constantly. im now taking all the medication the doctor has given me as yet its not done anything really except make me sleepy. the voices are still telling me not to take it but im ignoring them or trying too.
maybe your right about a stay in hospital, i think my carer could do with the break too, its proving to be really hard for her and me to keep me safe at the moment as the voices intensity and persistence is to strong.
i try not to listen to them when they are saying nasty horrible things to me but its so hard not to believe them.
im not doing so good at the moment and really struggling to keep myself safe.
the voices want me to hurt self badly, ive been fighting it and fighting it but now theyre saying they will leave me alone if i do it. im so confused right now i just want some peace, im to scared to tell my carer what they are saying, new meds should be making me better.
*curls up*
*snuggles gently* glad your carer was able to help with the doctor :) keep tellin yourself that the voices are lying and listening to them won't make it stop. meds, countering the voices, etc. will. unfortunately it can take awhile for meds to fully kick in or find the right one or right combination- keep fightin hun <3 you able to sleep better now?
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
im really struggling to cope at the moment the voices have taken over completely and i get no brake from them at all, i feel completely exhausted and drained physically and mentally.
i try so hard not to listen to them and i tell myself theyre lying but its so hard and sometimes i act on what they say just for the chance of some peace and the release.
i really need these meds to start doing something because im losing the will to live right now, i feel like im sinking and theres no way out.
ive got the doctors again tomorrow and the chance is that shes going to put me in hospital as there has been no change since i saw her last week, i dont want to go into hospital but im really struggling to keep myself safe at home just now. even my carer thinks i need to be in hospital this time, but last time i was in hospital it didnt change anything, what if they can make the voices go? i cant be like this forever i need them gone
*curls up crying*
im in a bad way just now and not coping at all well, the voices are so intense and strong that ive been up most of the night. i feel like ive fallen apart completely now, theyve won i cant fight anymore.
ive got the doctors today but im scared and i dont want to go cause i no shes going to force me to go into hospital. i hate it in there i really do, my carer says they can make the voices go away, can they really?
i want them gone i really do, just want to be normal, can they make the flashbacks and nightmares go too?
need to stop them screaming at me, stop please. im sorry theyre going mad i cant think straight im sorry
I'm sorry this is so hard right now Jo.
Please...talk to the doctor. They can make voices go if go in hosp...can help you better.
Mind all over place today but thinking of you <3
xxxxx
i cant do this no more, i just cant its all to much.
in a bad place just now, feel so unsafe
sorry heads all over the place today cant think straight
bad thoughts as well as the voices not a good mix
need to make this stop
hurtin you, runnin away etc. won't make it stop- keep tellin yourself that. tell your carer, let her and everyone else help you as much as they can- they can only help what they know about. it can and will get better. the voices may never go completely away, but can get to a point where its quiet and its not a struggle anymore, where its easy to not acknowledge them. *snuggles gently*
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
